Grannymar

Please watch the Video BEFORE reading the text.  Ramana, the ‘old softy’ sent it to me, but alas he forgot to send the tissues.  I guarantee you will need them.

Now for the back story…

In a Chinese modern dance competition on TV, one very unique couple won one of the top prizes.

The young woman, in her 30’s, was in a terrible accident and lost her arm. She had been a dancer since childhood and the loss was devastating to her, and she fell into a state of depression for a few years. After some time someone suggested that she teach dance to children. She began to realize that she wanted to try to dance again.

She started to do some of her old routines, but the loss of her arm affected her balance and at first she fell constantly. It took a while before she could even make simple turns and spins without falling. She wanted to find a partner who was also disabled.

Then she heard of a man in his 20s who had lost a leg in an accident. He had also fallen into the usual denial, depression, and anger type of emotional roller coaster. But she determined to find him and persuade him to dance with her.

He thought her idea was ridiculous, he had never danced, and to – ‘DANCE WITH ONE LEG!’ “Are you joking? With me? No way”! - were some of the ways he responded. But, she didn’t give up, and he reluctantly agreed thinking, “I have nothing else to do anyway.”

She started to teach him to dance.

The two broke up a few times because he had no concept of using muscle, how to control his body, and knew none of the basic things about dancing. When she became frustrated and lost patience with him, he would walk out.

Eventually, they came back together and started training seriously. They hired a choreographer to design routines for them. She would fly high (held by him) with both arms (a sleeve for an arm) flying in the air. He could bend horizontally supported by one leg with her leaning on him, etc.

In the competition, as you will see, they dance beautifully and they legitimately won the competition.

*+*+*+*

The post is here where I can find it, for those days of frustration – post hip surgery – to remind me of what is possible if I make the effort!  The date will be easy to remember.  My mother died 13 years ago today.  She taught me perseverance.  Thank you Mammy!

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”

This phrase has remained etched in my mind since I first heard the ‘Last Lecture’ by Randy Pausch.

The ‘Last Lecture’ was part of a series where top academics are asked to think deeply about what matters to them, and then give a hypothetical “final talk”, with a topic such as “what wisdom  or message would you try to leave after you, if you knew it was your last chance?”

Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch (1960 - 2008) gave this lecture at the university in September 2007.

When I feel I am facing a brick wall I watch the video and each time I discover and learn something new.  This guy was something special.

Only last night I discovered another video of a surprise return to Carnegie Mellon by Professor Randy Pausch to deliver another inspirational speech at the Commencement ceremony in May 2008.  It was not alone inspirational but so full of energy and fun.  If you have not seen them before I highly recommend that you watch them.  They are both quite long so you will need to allow about an hour for each

Elly & George, if you have not seen the second one, go for it on the big screen.

Many of you who visit my blog on a regular basis will be familiar with the name Nancy.  I first became aware of Nancy’s kindness and generosity over 40 years ago.  She was always ready to open her heart and her home to those in need.  I know two young boys who benifited from that nurturing care all those years ago, and to this day Nancy has a special place in their hearts.  It was almost 15 years later that I had the opportunity to meet Nancy and her husband Roy for the first time.  A strong bond was made that day and our friendship has grown with the years.

I confess that I introduced Nancy to the world of Blogs and she was reading away quite happily for a couple of months without realising that she knew who Grannymar was!  Through her constant comments we have had great wisdom and laughter.  Nancy should have her own blog.  Alas, I have failed to convince her to to join our ranks.  Some weeks ago I asked Nancy if she would like to provide me with a Guest Post, and today I print her story.  It shows an example of how Nancy operates - with an open mind and an generous heart.

The Silver Dollar Scheme

By Nancy Leitz

Most of the time, a small town simply tolerates a large military base that dominates the area. That was the case at the United States Air Force Base where we were living in 1962. There was no love lost between the airmen stationed at the base and the home-town folks.

It got to the point that the commander of the base issued an order for all military personnel to wear civilian clothing while off duty. That lessened their presence in the town. The townsfolk didn’t notice the Air Force people so much out of uniform, so it made it difficult for them to blame everything that went wrong on the Air Force members.

That worked for awhile and then things heated up again. The townspeople resented the young fellows looking at their daughters and asking them for dates. Something had to be done to settle this animosity once and for all. The business people in town had to be made to realize how much of their business came from these people that they were so critical of.

The commanding officer called in his comptroller/ paymaster and proposed a scheme that he hoped would put an end to the trouble between the two factions. Here is what he did.

He ordered that all personnel from himself on down to the newest airman (about 3,000 people) be paid in silver dollars on the next payday. There was no such thing as direct deposit in those days so everyone was used to getting a pay envelope - but not a pay envelope that he could hardly pick up. The silver dollars were very heavy and each person got an average of $200.00, so they were carrying around 200 silver dollars.

The scheme really hit that town like a ton of bricks (or dollars). Those dollars were deposited in the local bank, they were used at the gas station, the dry cleaners, the movies, the drive ins. They were put in collection baskets at every denomination’s church. They had to hire extra people to count the money at the various businesses and get huge bags to carry the dollars to the bank.

It worked!!! The town council invited the commanding officer to the next meeting and implored him to go back to paper checks in the pay envelopes. The business people had only to look around their businesses and see the silver dollars stacked up EVERYWHERE to realize how much of their livelihood they owed to the Air Force personnel who patronized their shops and restaurants and movie houses and car dealerships.

Things were never the same in that little town again. They were better.

Our snow has melted and with it the memory of the bitter cold days and nights…  On the other side of the world the fires still burn and the work is only really beginning…  I wrote about it here a week ago. 

Friday’s email message

The radio is getting sad

Talk back radio have people appealing to know if their friends and relatives are alive

But we are not getting as many positive answers

The death toll still remains the same at 182 but

Today both the Police and the Red Cross begged for people to register their where abouts.

The missing have increased to over 120 and more

The government suggest that the toll will rise to over 300

The cheep press suggest that it is closer to 400

Tragically the firey’s and police came across 8 bodies huddled together over a baby on Friday. Now they are identified in their new names of 1 to 9 with their GPS map reference

It was easier to find people in cars on the roads

A different thing in the bush and in some of the houses

Facemasks and gloves are only now being handed out to volunteers to start the meticulous search through the devastation of what remains. The temperatures are forecast to jump up by Wednesday.

This refreshable map tracks where the fires are: http://mapvisage.appspot.com/fires/FireMap.html

All that some survivors have left is their dignity – Their knickers or jocks have come from somebody else!

It kinda puts our recession into perspective!

Years ago my father told me that it was a sign you were getting old when the policemen looked like school boys! Alas, the police have looked like schoolboys and schoolgirls to me for many a year now.

Sigh!

When I began this blogging lark most of my early contacts were Elly’s age group, yes I saw them as children. Well they were for the most part half my age. Over time the age groups widened. There were 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and a few 60s and now they go way up to the 80s.

It was the ageing downward that took me by surprise….

At Podcamp Ireland in Kilkenny 2007, I met Ian Healy a fine young school going lad who was very interested in all that went on. Alas, computer access with Dial-up internet prevents him from blogging and joining in the fun as much as he would like. He was back with us once more for Podcamp Kilkenny 2008. As soon as he saw me he shook hands and we picked up the conversation from the previous year.

Again at Podcamp this year, I met and spoke to Cian MacMahon a fifth year student who podcasts as a hobby and so far has succeeded in finding two sponsors to cover his hosting expenses. Cian is a handsome young man with a crystal clear voice and excellent diction and I predict he will go places in the not to distant future.

I first became aware of him at a talk led by Darragh Doyle, and like Darragh he is not afraid to approach and engage with people. Our paths crossed again later in the day when he attended my conversation about blogging and podcasting for the elderly. He stayed chatting long after the talk ended and kindly asked if I would consent to being interviewed for one of his podcasts. Email addresses were exchanged arrangements made and the recording took place some weeks ago via Skype, with Cian in Dublin and me with my feet up in Co Antrim! I think that episode will be available this weekend and there are plenty more examples of Cian’s work at View from the Quad.

The third young man I want to bring to your attention is Tommy Collison, a 14 year old student from Castletroy College in Limerick. His blogging home is to be found at Trust Tommy.com and once homework is out of the road Tommy joins the conversation on Twitter, where his short bio of 160 characters describes him as “Irish drummer, blogger, student, mischief-maker and maker of killer pancakes”.

So this keen drummer, and his work can be found on YouTube. Among his favourite bands are Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Dresden Dolls, Coldplay, Muse and Jamie Cullum. An avid reader he enjoys the words of Authors like Philip Pullman, Ian Fleming, Robert Muchamore and Stephen King.

Now I wonder what I have to do to get one of Tommy’s pancakes?

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
3. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it “in”.
4. Don’t use any punctuation.
5. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
6. Go to a poetry recital, and ask why the poems don’t rhyme?
7. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
8. When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”
   
9. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Exit, yelling “Run for your lives! They’re loose!”
10. Tell your children over dinner, “due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

On my piece last Friday ‘The light went out…’ there were many comments. One in particular begged an answer.

Jo said

I know that people are meant to go, and have to go but I don’t know how we’re meant to find peace with it. I really don’t.

You are an inspiration, it’s true, your blog speaks of the pain of your loss but also so much of the joy you find in your life.

How do you stop a death like this from tinting every happiness afterwards with a little sadness?

Coming from a large family circle we had plenty of hatching, matching and dispatching. The first death that I actually remember was in 1955; our next door neighbour had a stroke and died a week later. They had no telephone so our number was given at the hospital for emergency contact. It was suggested that May the wife, might telephone every morning for a progress report (back in those days visiting was very restricted and children under 14 were not allowed). May arrived at our house every morning before 8am and we children had to stay in the dining room out of the way for the duration. May wailed like a tragic opera singer and refused to make the phone call, mammy had to make the call and pretend that she was May! My parents were loyal and supportive in every way. May died in 1992. She never stopped wailing and instead of bringing support it had the effect of turning people away. That left a mark on me.

My father was called on at times of family bereavements to make the funeral arrangements and he involved me in the practical arrangements. I learned the importance of making the ‘Lists’ they might take 10 minutes, but it saved time and hassle further down the line. I learned how to deal with, and in which order, the undertakers, the clergy, the press and the florists. Most important of all I learned how to tell people over the phone calmly that someone had died, remembering that I was giving them shocking news. That taught me to harness my emotions.

Over the years I have known and watched many people die, from elderly grandmother, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins to a baby niece who was a victim of sudden death syndrome. I have lost many close friends as well. Not all death effects on you in the same way. Some people leave a special indelible mark on your heart.

When my maternal grandmother died, mammy, daddy and I were with her. Later that evening daddy gathered my siblings and we went en-famille (sp?) to pay our respects. We gathered around the bed where granny was laid out, looking very solemn with her hands joined. We spoke in whispers. Why do we do that? Daddy told us to kneel and led us in prayer. Suddenly from the far side of the bed one of my younger brothers burst out laughing! Daddy frowned and continued with the prayer. Brother No.3 continued laughing and indeed got worse. Daddy stopped and asked for an explanation. “I keep thinking that Granny will open her eyes and say ‘Hah! I fooled you!’ said Brother No.3. That was Granny in a nutshell, and soon we were all laughing. Laughter of love not disrespect.

Jo, my husband was ill for six years. This gave us time to prepare, to say all that had to be said. Those six years were not all suffering and grief. The time was limited so we made the most of it. We had some very precious moments, the memory of which will live on in my soul. Jack was a good teacher of how to live; he had come through some difficult times in his life’s journey, I spoke about them here and here. I might not have felt like living on when he died, but I had Elly to think about and if I was to live as long as my mother and grandmother before me, I had 30 years or more to go and that is a long, long time to stay miserable. Misery breeds bitterness in my book

Those years were not all sunshine and roses either. My mother died eighteen months before Jack and Elly left the nest for University six weeks later. My good neighbour and friend faced surgery and chemotherapy I helped with her day to day care when she was feeling ill or low. I washed and creamed her feet each evening and this gave her great comfort. When we learn to wash each others feet, we peel away barriers and build friendship (I am beginning to sound like a preacher here!).

People suffering from loss or heartbreak find their body and mind reacting strangely even in normal situations. They experience mood swings. They sometimes avoid places and people that bring up nostalgic memories and can make them weep uncontrollably. Even when you can’t have your loved one back, you may still be able to move on with your life and become a stronger human being. The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. The best tribute we can pay a loved one is to LIVE!

“Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

I know several people with itchy feet syndrome.

It seems to be more evident as spring raises its sleepy head from the grey blanket of winter. The new life we see around us like the first snowdrop or crocus pushing its way through frozen ground or daffodils fluttering in the breeze make us hanker for new growth in our lives. The new growth might manifest itself in a change of routine, a new hobby, a career move or a new relationship.

None of these will happen unless we are open and willing to accept change. Sometimes the idea of change is difficult to accept. We are changing every day without realising it. We are a day older and the happenings of the previous day have left a mark, even if we are unable to see it.

Firstly we must be open to the change and prepare for it. If you are going to a party, and know your heart’s desire will be there, what do you do? Have a shower, wash the hair, wear clean pressed clothes etc. In other words = Prepare

If you are going to the Gym, well you need the new shorts & top and of course the right trainers = Prepare

If you are going to an Art class, well you need to buy a sketch pad and pencils or paints and brushes = Prepare

What about the career move? = Prepare

How do I suggest you do that? Go read an excellent blog post from one of my Toyboys; Rowan Manahan puts it so much better than I ever could. I would go as far as saying keep a copy of the post close to you and read it on a regular basis. It applies not only to job hunting but to life itself:

Being prepared - getting a foot in the door and not in your mouth

Now when you find your truelove and make your millions, don’t forget to come back and tell Grannymar.

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