Grannymar

Well not exactly. But I want you to listen up and pay attention.

On Sunday I was busily sorting and organising the very first Grannymar International Sports Special for 2012! It was fun with plenty of suggestions for events.

Now what happened next is a bit of a blur. Literally! It might have been the glare of the lights (inside my brain) or all those sequins suggested by Steph, but something happened. I know I turned my head to the left and felt a pain in my right eye. Now all my life all you had to do was say the word ‘Eye’ to me and they went red. In fact my mother often called me ‘scaldy eyes’!

So now back to Sunday.

I pushed on and tried to ignore the problem thinking like a man - if you ignore something it will go away! It didn’t and it seemed to get worse. Knowing there was a history of eye problems in the family I decided as evening went on to have it checked out. One of my younger brothers had a problem a few years ago and ignored it for a few days. When finally pushed into going to see about it, he was given a dressing down and admitted for immediate surgery as the retina had become detached. In this kind of situation it is imperative to seek help ASAP. Alas the problem was not resolved and he has since lost the sight in that eye. Since another brother has been diagnosed with Glaucoma I am sure you can understand my concern.

Being a weekend I called the local out of hours medical service for advice and they suggested I head straight to the Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast. Since my newly returned friendly neighbour was not at home I called a taxi. So armed with my permanently packed overnight bag we set out on the nearest thing to a Formula 1 race. I did say that I was not pregnant and that we could slow a little but the driver was not amused. Racing down the M2 is a little like the M50 in Dublin right now, a chicane of cones all the way. Thankfully I was trying to keep my eye closed and could not see the speedometer!

We arrived safely and I was seen by the triage nurse quickly, followed by a rather long wait. I did not complain. I have gone through A&E before and each time the need was really urgent and I was seen to immediately. While I was looked after others had to wait. Sunday night was my turn to wait. My turn eventually came and a handsome young Toyboy took great care to check me out thoroughly. He even tried turning me into an ‘orange woman’! The dye he used for one of the tests was bright orange and some of it overflowed onto my face. It clashed with my red rims and flushed cheeks.

Finally we discovered there was no major damage but the cornea was scratched. I was given some drops and allowed home. I was assured that I did the correct thing by having it checked out. So please mind your eyes they have to work for a lifetime!

Imagine not being able to see my Toyboys…..

So today sees the closing of the present Olympic extravaganza in Beijing. With wall to wall coverage of the events have you developed an interest in a new sport? Not having an eye for a ball or a love of water, sports of any kind were to be avoided in my book.

Now the other day while visiting Chrisb I discovered this little game What Olympic Sport Are You?

Naturally I had to give it a go and the answer was a real surprise…

Alan in Belfast wrote about the high point of a Northern Ireland’s summer season, or the Marching Season as it is known. You can catch up on his posts here and here.

He mentions the suggestion that it should become a Cultural Tourist Event.

Before the 12th becomes a Cultural Tourist Event the Powers that be in Tourism and the Orange Order need to step back and take a long hard look at what happens as part of the twelfth of July celebrations.

OK Alan, as a native you have some idea of how it evolved and what it is about, but as a visitor coming in raw, what image do enormous bonfires of stolen pallets and tyres from motor vehicles producing palls of acrid smoke and surrounded by people who seem to have fallen out of a pub, do to sell the province?

This Video is from 2007 but will give you an idea of how a Bonfire is built.

Up to about five years ago a field that bordered my land was taken over and a bonfire built and burned there. Trees on our property were hacked when wood was scarce, but we could have told them, if they bothered to ask, that fresh branches are to damp to burn. Nobody ever asked our permission to chop the trees or place the fire right behind our bungalow. The field was way below us so we had a ringside view of all that went on. Naturally no thought of our feelings were taken into consideration. The drunken squalling that supposedly was the singing of ‘The Sash‘ (one line repeated endlessly) was an insult to any occasion. The fire burned all night and indeed smouldered for nearly a week covering our bungalow and gardens with a layer of soot and bits of half burned tyres. The whole place reeked of burning rubber for weeks and needed to be hosed down on the morning of the 13^th.

I have watched 12th Parades both live and on TV over the years. I am sorry; but in my mind a parade is marched with military precision in time to a band. What I witnessed over the years could in no way be called marching but rather slouching along with participants waving to everyone they know. It would be impossible to march properly anyway, as each lodge was preceded by a band, and each band thumped a different attempt at a tune.

The Belfast Telegraph give a flavour of this years main Parade in Belfast.

Alan’s description of what happened at the field further shows that the whole thing is a sham and an insult to Queen and country, as are the Flags that appear all over the countryside at the end of June and are left there to rot and decay all year long at the mercy of the weather.

Marches will take place are regular intervals from now to the end of August across the Province, often culminating with a church service. During my years as a Church Warden I was involved in preparing for and greeting the Orange Men. The church hall was opened for the band to off load their instruments – large drums etc. Regularly the band members stayed in the hall for the duration and quite a few of those who did enter the church were unfamiliar with service or the hymns chosen by the Orange men themselves beforehand.

New Drawing Boards are needed!

I remember as a youngster my father lecturing my brothers and me about having respect for ‘The Flag’, no matter what country you were in. The place for flags are public buildings and they should be removed (never touching the ground) before sundown. The greatest insult is to have a flag with a rip or tear in it. Painting flags on faces or wearing shorts made from fabric that looks like a Union Jack is way off the grid where I am concerned.

If I am not in, I can’t win!

You can’t have an election with only one candidate so I am throwing my cap in the ring.

Word has reached me that Krishna De is putting herself forward for the race to The White House. Now I think she needs some healthy competition. Off with the gloves and down to business. The time has come to see what my Toyboys are made off.

Steph, as my Manager you need to organise the campaign. If only we had Paddy Bloggit to sort out the policies it would be a doddle.

Darragh is proving to be fickle and with Mr Sneezy he seems to have jumped the gate. Darren has gone in search of Oxegen 08.

Rally round now, remember there are still some badges to be earned. Rick where are you when I need you.

Well you need something to keep you amused while I am busy at BarCamp Belfast today!

One Word Answers Meme borrowed from Tiger lamb Girl.

Only one word can be used in your answer and it can NOT be used twice.

1. Where is your cell phone? Pocket

2 Your significant other? None

3. Your hair? Shor

4. Your mother? Deceased

5. Your father? Dead

6. Your favourite time of day? Morning

7. Your dream last night? None

8. Your favourite drink? Gin

9. Your dream goal? Wakeup

10. The room you’re in? Lounge

11. Your ex? Cremated

12. Your fear? Hypothermia

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Alive

14. What you are not? Jealous

15. Your Favourite meal? Dinner (with friends)

16. One of your wish list items? Energy

17. The last thing you did? Type

18. Where you grew up? Dublin

19. What are you wearing? Clothes

20. Your TV is? Nonexistent

21. Your pets? Spiders

22. Your computer? Desk

23. Your life? Interesting

24. Your mood? Calm

25. Missing someone? Elly

26. Your car? Mazda!

27. Something you’re not wearing? Jewellery

28. Favourite store? Arnotts

29. Your summer? Mild

30. Your favourite colour? Cornflower

31. When is the last time you laughed? Now

32. When is the last time you cried? April

33. Your health? Unpredictable

34. Your children? Daughter

35. Your future? Unknown

36. Your beliefs? Simple

37. Young or old? Ancient

38. Your image? Approachable

39. Your appearance? Tidy

40. Would you live your life over again knowing what you know? Yes

I still make mistakes - post blank spaces and lose things when I try to sort out my mistakes.

I’ll try again…

I did…

It didn’t work .

I saw a Wonderful Musical Helter Skelter at le craic on Friday and wanted to enjoy it all over again here. Since I am unable to upload/download it (whichever is the correct word), you will have to take a trip over there to hear it.

Should I go back to bed…

Nah I’ll go for a walk and take the camera!

With each day the knees creak a little more, the hip aches and I am now unable to run for a bus. The fact that buses seldom come my way is beside the point. I still drive and the car is my lifeline. What would I do if I had no car It is a topic that to date I have avoided like the plague.

It made me think…. I might find a pair of

Nowadays there are so many contraptions to aid with mobility, I might upgrade to this

I could always call a Taxi…

Mind you if the state of the office is anything like the driving, I might walk.

What am I worried about, sure I have a Son-in-Law and he is a good driver with a nice car. But oh dear!…

Now that will never do so I must dig a little deeper….

Now you are talking. That was just made for me!

Wednesday was a very unusual day and it is no wonder I was all of a fluster when the phone went that evening. That is where you joined the day. It had something to do with lights!

Earlier I was being stalked by a Toyboy. He was very persistent and would not take no for an answer. My mother warned me about guys like that. He won in the end when he said ‘But you’re a photoblogger now, there’s no going back!’ I suppose that is the price I have to pay for chasing Toyboys So now I am a groupie!

Will, one of my long-time Toyboys said:

‘There is more than one way to do it’ He was talking about taking Photographs!

So when presented with something that has appeared on countless postcards, look around it for other angles of approach. Even buildings have personalities, and personal quirks. See if you can find them? Look carefully and you might find an angle where the dour faced statue looks like its smiling.

With this in mind I headed out, no dour statues on this journey so I had a go like this

Grannymar is an ‘older’ Blogger, Photoblogger, sometimes Podcaster and owner of an O2 N95, proving that technology, like sex is not the prerogative of the under 30 something’s! Gwan give it a go! You know you want to.

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God’s bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, ‘You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, ‘Yes!’ And Woman said, ‘I’ll have one too with chocolate chips’. And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said, ‘Try my fresh green salad’. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said ‘I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them’.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man’s cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said ‘You want fries with that?’ and Man replied, ‘Yes, and super size ‘em’. And Satan said, ‘It is good.’ And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ……… and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then ………… Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here’s the final word on nutrition and health.:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
6. The French eat fois-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Emoh Ruo was a name plate I saw regularly as a child. Being slow at the reading I thought it might be a foreign language. By the time It dawned on me that it was Our Home backwards, I was to big to to admit it to anyone. Mind you I though it was still a stupid name for a house.

This came to mind while chatting to Will the other day. Our conversation travelled through a myriad of topics and how we came to house names I have no idea. We wondered if a name had any effect on the atmosphere within or attitude of the residents. Will ‘Wotton Hatch’ be less prickly than ‘Holly House’, or ‘Sunflower Cottage’ be more soothing than Mere View’?

Does your house have a name and did you pick it? If yes, do you use it? Is it of the ‘Salerne’ variety - a mixture of Sally & Ernie?

Now for a little game:

Name this house.

1.

This is how the Estate Agent might see my house.

2.

How a buyer sees my house.

3.

How the Tax Man sees my house.

4.

Ok, I know the name of this one, but do you?