Grannymar

While checking out The Boomer Chronicles the other afternoon I notice Rhea has a post on a forthcoming film What Would Jesus Buy?

‘What Would Jesus Buy? follows Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping Gospel Choir as they go on a cross-country mission to save Christmas from the Shopocalypse: the end of mankind from consumerism, over-consumption and the fires of eternal debt!’

It is now on my list for viewing once it is released this side of the pond.

For all of you out there who hate the commercialism of Christmas it might pass an hour or so.

Tommy Cooper (1921-1984)was a Welsh ‘prop’ comedian and magician who made an art form of getting magic tricks wrong.

Last evening I heard something scary. I was listening to the radio. BBC Radio 4, the Money Box programme. It is now back for a new season. I often find it informative. I have yet to discover how to get those old pennies out of my Money Box; they never seem to cover that topic! I might have to resort to a tin opener!

One of the topics last night told how some Credit Card customers are running into problems at hotels. They explained how one “standard practice” in the way card payments are reserved can sometimes affect your ability to spend. Perhaps you International Travellers out there are well aware of the practice. If not you can listen to the piece on the above link.

When a person checks into a hotel they are asked how they will be paying. Most of us now for simplicity and ease proffer our Credit Card. At that point the hotel *Earmarks* a sum of money to include the daily rate for the number of days we hope to stay, plus the cost of our anticipated spending e.g. breakfast, dinner and use of the Mini bar plus an extra to cover accident.

One caller told of his checking into a hotel, but later changing his mind for some reason and booking into another one. When He handed over his card at the second hotel he was told there was a problem. His limit was not sufficient to cover the bill.

He contacted his Credit card company and was told the first hotel had *Earmarked* £1500 to cover his stay and when he booked into the second hotel they wanted to *Earmark* a similar amount.

Another person checked into an Hotel as per normal and then went out for the remainder of the evening to shop and have a meal. The next time he tried to use his card it was rejected.

We learned that it is a common practice for hotels to do this, yet nowhere is it advertised or are we advised.

Now you are warned! Take note.

I wonder does my Elly know.

Where do you write a list?

Yet another story of Elly’s life in Northern Ireland in the early 80’s.

Mr ‘O’ owned the local newsagents on the avenue where I grew up. The actual shop was very small; in fact eight customers were about all it would hold at any one time. Mr ‘O’ was super efficient and nobody had to wait very long to be served. In the evenings and at weekends he was joined by Mrs ‘O’. She helped to look after the customers. When they retired about five years ago the other shopkeepers and most of the older, by which I mean long time, residents threw a street party in honour of his long and faithful service.

The shop was once half of a double fronted establishment at the end of a block of about 10 shops with a Cinema half way along the row. It had been divided before Mr ‘O’ bought it. The other half became Mr Mc’s grocery business. That’s a story for another time.

The window was about waist high with a narrow shelf on the inside. It was closed on the inside to the customers and could only be viewed from the outside. It was not a window to linger over as all the goods and personalities were inside the shop. Window dressings 50 years ago were few and simple. Crepe paper lined the shelf and on it were displayed Bars of Cadbury’s Milk Chocolate that in fact were blocks of wood, covered in the foil and wrappers. Boxes of Chocolates such as Mackintoshes Double Centres, Black Magic, Milk Tray or Fruit Jellies were on show. These boxes were only empty cartons; it was just as well because the shop was on the sunny side of the street.

There was a counter 3ft (91cms) high and about 7ft (214cms) long. It ran the length of the shop with a small gap to allow the staff to come out onto the
shop-floor or go into the miniscule store at the back. The first 18 inches from the window end was the children’s corner. You could stand here and look over the counter for an hour or longer with your large old penny burning a hole in the palm of your hand deciding what to spend it on.

Displayed on shelves along the wall behind the counter were what seemed like a wonderland of dentist’s delights from different toffee bars, gob stoppers lucky bags and various sweets including Fruit Salad, Blackjacks, Lollipops, Dolly Mixture, Bubblegum, Liquorice Allsorts, Midget Gems, Liquorice Sticks, Aniseed
Balls, Sugared Almonds and Wine Gums.

Next to this space stood a weighing scales. Along the front of the remainder of the counter were large jars of colourful sweets like a row of soldiers standing to attention. These raised the counter level and the newspapers of the day were placed on top of them. The old fashioned Cash register was tucked in behind, out of sight. Rows of cigarette packets were along the wall at a level out of sight of the children’s corner. Pipe tobacco, matches, pipe-cleaners, cigarette papers, lighter fuel all had their place. You could buy papers, magazines, comics, notepaper & envelopes, cards for all occasions, stamps, sheets of brown or gift paper and string. Large Picture boxes of Chocolates, usually with beautiful girls or cute animals on the front were placed high up on the walls. They sold well at Valentine’s & Mother’s day. The only trouble with them was that they were all box and very few chocolates.

Mr ’O’ also stocked milk in glass bottles, cream and eggs, ice-cream and ice pops – they were like a frozen drink on a stick, bright orange or deep red in colour. Fresh bread was delivered daily and he also stocked lemonade, Coke and Pepsi were not in our vocabulary never mind Mr ‘O’s shop.

At the far end of the counter was a mobile oil heater. It was the only heat in the building. The front door was open from morning to night so when the shop was quiet Mr ‘O’ was to be found working away near the heat source. On the shelves above it were an assortment of items not usual for a ‘paper’ shop. He had plasters, cards of sewing needles, sheets of pins, combs, razor blades, sachets of shampoo, fuses and batteries, sometimes you would see him disappear into the store and return with an item of his own to oblige a customer.

I remember once as a child going up with my saved pocket money to buy something for my parent’s anniversary and when I told him I wanted to buy a present he gently asked how much I wanted to spend. I told him how much I had and I know that what I came home with was well worth more than the cash I gave him. He even wrapped it for me and gave me a card to go with it.

On another occasion years later a friend and neighbour was having a party for her 18^th birthday. It was to be rather special and for the first time her parents had allowed her to have wine. When it came time to open the bottles they discovered they had no bottle opener to do so. Up they went to Mr ‘O’ and for once it was something he did not stock. Not to be outdone he left his wife to look after the shop and drove home to get his own corkscrew which he brought to the house of the party and opened the first couple of bottles to make sure they knew how to do it, before leaving the opener with them overnight.

Mr ‘O’ remembered everyone’s name, knew where they lived and who lived next door to them. As we grew up and moved on he got to know the names of the new additions to our families and always asked how we were doing and sent good wishes. We in turn always paid a visit when we went back to visit our parents. The younger generation loved to go to see Mr ‘O’ and buy sweets they usually came away with a sweet in their mouth that he had slipped to them.

I know he managed to have a half hour away from the shop to see me walk down the aisle 30 years ago and he was also at the graveside for both funerals of my parents.

We are constantly told how modern times are better. Modern technology means we can actually buy items without uttering a word or seeing a smile. Nowadays in shops when asking about certain items we are told “If it is not on the shelf, then we do not have it”. The Mr ‘O’s’ of this world are fast disappearing and the world should mourn their passing.

A lady was walking down Grafton Street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of Euro for food.

The woman took out her purse, produced €50 and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some chocolate with it instead of dinner?”

“No,” I had to stop chocolate years ago, the homeless woman replied.

Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” the woman asked.

“No,” I don’t waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”

“Will you spend this at the Hairdresser’s instead of food?” the woman asked.

“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless woman. “I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”

“Well,” said the woman, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded. “Won’t your hubby be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty well disgusting.”

The woman replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hairdresser appointments, and chocolate.

There was a time in my young days when passing the window of a shoe shop, particularly in early springtime, was an utter impossibility for me. It was a time when my hard earned cash provided me with a new outfit each spring, summer, autumn and winter. These outfits became ‘Sunday best’. The purchasing was not complete until the hat; gloves, bag and shoes all matching, were chosen.

I am talking about the days where all well mannered young ladies attending any job interview arrived punctually wearing her hat and her gloves. On entering the interview room she stood until invited to sit down. When sitting she kept her knees together and not crossed, keeping her gloves on throughout the meeting! “Why?” I hear you ask. Taking off ones gloves was considered forward and gave the impression that you were there to stay! Gosh I am so glad that things have moved on since then.

Leaving that tangent, I come back to my topic of shoes. I am not quite in the ‘Imelda Marcos’ category but I do confess to several pairs of shoes. I like to keep them clean and place shoe-trees in them as soon as I take them off. This helps keep them in shape and good condition. When they have cooled off I store them in their boxes lined with tissue. I have shoes that were purchased eight or nine years ago and still they look like new. They have spent more time on my feet than in the boxes.

Yesterday I ventured out to look for a new pair of shoes to go with the outfit that Elly helped me choose for her wedding. I headed for Ballymena and McKillen’s a well known Footwear Emporium in these parts. I walked slowly past the goods on display and realised once more that age was catching up on me. On past visits I have found difficulty in choosing only one pair of shoes. This time I was saddened that nothing appealed to me – I came away empty handed. I did find another shop who had a pair in the colour I wanted but alas not in my size. They offered to call their other branches this morning to see if they had my size. A phone call in the last hour confirmed my hunch that I was out of Luck. I am back to square one.

Now in desperation I have searched the net and think I have found the very thing. I wonder if I posted them to Granny would she wear them for a day or two to break them in for me.

So what do you think lads, would these heels do something for you?

I have this toilet soap and I am not sure what to do with it.

Having soap is not unusual for me. It is a habit I learned from my mother. She bought loads of Lux Toilet Soap and some carbolic soap as well with the weekly shopping. The carbolic soap had a horrible smell and it was always in the soap dish on the kitchen windowsill beside the sink. I tried not to use it. It was ok for my smelly brothers to use it, after all ‘boys’ are smelly anyway, especially when they wear corduroy short trousers!

The Lux bars of soap were the large bath size and we never ran short of them. This was because my mother was a great believer in “getting another couple just in case…” The spare bars had the covering removed and were then placed in the Tallboy among the ‘in case’ towels, nightwear and her underwear. I soon learned to go to the Tallboy if a replacement was required in the bathroom. I would rummage about until I found one and that was that.

I needed a new bar of soap today and so I went to my store cupboard to get it from the multi-pack I had there. For some reason I turned the pack over and you will never guess what I saw? A sell-by date! On soap? Yes it said Best Before: 05-07. Now since when did this happen? I have enough soap to do me until Christmas. Will it wash me in June, July etc.? Elly will have more than fireworks (See yesterdays post) if I turn up dirty and smelly at the wedding.

As I tidied around I saw the box of tissues beside my bed was empty so back I go to the store cupboard for a full one. Lo and Behold! On the back of it I find yet again it has a Best Before date. How can tissues go out of date? Will they Biodegrade before I wipe my snitcher?

I have discovered a mark on the bottom of my foot. I was never any good at Yoga so it is not easy to see it properly. If I squint at it, I think it looks like BB and then very blurred numbers…. Oh Dear!