Archive for Men

Do you agree

That if Men Got Pregnant

  • Morning sickness would be the number 1 sickness in the World.
  • Maternity leave would be two full years with pay.
  • Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.
  • Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
  • All methods of birth control would become 100% effective.
  • Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
  • There would be a cure for stretch marks.
  • Men wouldn’t think twins were so cute.
  • Sons would have to be home from dates by 10 P.M. SHARP!

Comments (21)

Robin Hood was a Saint!

According to todays Breaking News

Pope Benedict XVI today denounced what he called the world’s “profit mindset”.

He warned money can turn people into “blind egoists” and urging the wealthy to share their riches with the poor.

Benedict said life was about making choices between good and bad, between altruism and egoism, honesty and dishonesty.

Ultimately, he said, it was about making the choice between God and Satan.

“Money in itself isn’t ‘dishonest’, but more than any other thing it can close man off into a blind egoism,” Benedict said.

He called for a “conversion” of economic goods, “rather than using them for self-interest, we should also think about the needs of the poor, imitating Christ”.

I particularly like the ” urging the wealthy to share their riches with the poor.”

I wonder if he will lead the way and stand on the steps of St. Peter’s Basilica to distribute the enormous funds of the Catholic Church.

Comments (16)

Rules according to Men

My last few posts might seem that I was not very fond of men.

ME! Now come on, you all know my favourite sport is chasing Toy-boys! ;)

To even up the score I will share a little something I received the other day:

“The Rules” from the Male Side.

These are our rules!

Please note… these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!

MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, cricket, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

 

Well Girls how did we get it all so wrong?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments (5)

MEN

Okay, Okay, last night I had a long chat with my girlfriends as we shared a glass of wine or three.

Finally it all made sense…

I never looked at it this way before:

 

MENtal illness

MENstrual cramps

MENtal breakdown

MENopause

GUYnocologist

AND …..!

When we have REAL trouble, it’s a

HISterectomy

Ever notice how all of women’s problems

start with MEN?

Comments (9)

It must be Grandad!



Where is my spray? Oh gosh I can’t breathe! Get me my spray quick this is far too much for me!

While reading an article in the Guardian online by James Walkman, I came across a piece about Mascara for men! Yes Mascara for men is now in the shops. It’s in the men’s department. For men.

Now I can about imagine Grandad with his mouth twisted and his tongue hanging, with one eye shut as he tries to focus on the other, while at the same time trying not to poke his eye out with the wand (yes that is what you call it)! His aim being to add ‘an attractive shimmer and enhance, or create a sensuousness that will captivate and make his eyes come alive!

Life in the village will never be the same again!

Do you think he will wear it to the Irish Blog Awards?

Thank goodness I won’t be there!

Comments (1)