Grannymar

I keep saying it – Where would we be without our commenter’s?

A ‘Strange but True’ themed day was suggested by Steph, so get your thinking caps on while you read this and then share your story.

One bright September morning when I was aged four, mammy dressed me up and put a large bow on my hair. We were taking my older brother to school. At the time I didn’t realise that she wanted to enrol me for the following September. The school was run by an order of nuns and Sister Patrick the Principal, announced to my mother that she would take then and there that day! I had no time to prepare and Mammy left in shock without (at that time) her only daughter!

My teacher for the first couple of years was called Miss Kierce. Naturally when I came home I talked non stop about her. Daddy said to me that in his part of the country (Co Clare) she would be called Kearse and that I was to tell her. I think it was the first thing I said to her the next day. The banter went backward and forward through me, and we discovered that she was from Ennis in Co Clare, not many miles from Kildysart where my father was born.

Miss Kierce asked if daddy ever went down to Clare and precocious little me said “Of course he did, he went to see Granny Kildysart!” So the message came home: “Daddy Miss Kierce says; next time you are going to Kildysart will you drop her off in Ennis!”

Weeks passed and eventually daddy was arranging to go to Clare, so I again brought messages back and forth. Times and dates were sorted and on the day teacher came home from school with me and she and daddy set off on the journey. Driving from Dublin to Ennis at the mouth of the Shannon in the days before motorways, gave plenty of time for questions to be asked and answers given. Daddy’s first question to all young women was usually “Did I know your mother?” Daddy did not know her mother but discovered that he knew her Godfather!

Miss Kierce’s Godfather was daddy’s Uncle Jim! The same Uncle Jim who came to our house for lunch every Tuesday and stayed all day!

Grand Uncle Jim

When I married Jack back in 1977, I wanted a simple wedding with no fuss. My friends were all well married and at 30 I was considered a very late bride (thankfully that silly talk has vanished)! I settled on a two piece outfit with crochet top and linen skirt in Ecru. It was right for me with my deep auburn hair. Jack as I have said before was older and walked with a slight limp due to injuries he sustained in Burma during WW11. Jack always referred to the injured leg as ‘the wooden leg’! He was a widower when I met him.

Walking up the aisle with Daddy who was ill.

Now we are married!

Several years later my brother was researching our family history. On a visit to Co Clare he spent several hours looking at the archives of the Clare Champion, a local weekly newspaper. He sent me a copy of a cutting. It was a description of a wedding. The date was 30 Jan 1900 and the Groom a widower, was marrying a woman much younger than he was. She had auburn hair. The description of the bride’s outfit told us it was the same colour as mine. The Groom did have a wooden leg. How do I know? The bridal couple were my paternal grandparents. The bride was Granny Kildysart!

Now you must have a strange but true story to share with us. I’m off to buy a horse, I’ll talk to you much later!

Cheerfulness removes the rust from the mind, lubricates our inward machinery, and enables us to do our work with fewer creaks and groans. If people were universally cheerful, there wouldn’t be half the quarrelling or a tenth part of the wickedness there is.
Cheerfulness, too, promotes health and morality.
Cheerful people live longest here on earth, afterward in our hearts.
- Author Unknown

If I were to name two people who answer this description, one alive and another who has moved on to the world of eternal cheerfulness they would have to be:

Not two but three people have marked my life and outlook forever.

My Maternal Granny lived in Dublin, a bus journey away from us. She was a regular visitor to our home and immediately made for the kitchen or wherever she heard the voices. The mood became much brighter with her arrival and she always had colourful tales to tell from her journey on the bus, a visit to Town or of relations who had called to see her. Granny saw the lighter side in any situation and regularly saved us from a scolding. She used laughter to help make painful experiences a whole lot more tolerable.

We often stayed with her during school holidays. She loved going to the Cinema and regularly took us a matinee showing at the Green Cinema. It has long gone now, replaced by the St Stephen’s Green Shopping Centre. The first film I remember from those days was Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

Granny’s house seemed so much quieter than ours, but then there were only two people in it in those days. The youngest of her sons was unmarried at that time and he was either at work or out with his friends. She would send me up to open his bedroom window when he had gone to work and when I was half way up the stairs she would call out to me “Don’t be looking at those Dirty Books!” This was always followed by a hearty chuckle. Copies of ‘Men Only’ were scattered in bundles all over his room. Naturally I had to take a look at what I was not supposed to see. I am sure by today’s standards they would be considered very tame. Do they still print them?

I remember one day at the lunch table the conversation turned to ‘Wooden Legs’! We must have talked about my Paternal Grandfather because he had a wooden leg! He died when my father was eleven so I never knew him or saw his wooden leg. I was young enough at that time to be a little wary of having a ‘wooden leg’ at close quarters. Granny not to be outdone told me that she had one, it was in the coal shed and after lunch she would let me see it! Sticking close to her skirts we headed out to the coal shed. It was dark inside and there was no light. She ventured into the shadows and lifted something rather heavy from along the back wall. I was ready to scarper as she walked towards me with the leg. “Now do you believe?” she asked and she placed a beautifully carved table leg in front of me! Oh Yes! She laughed heartily for hours afterwards.

Jack the love of my life. We are back to wooden legs again! He was a Burma Veteran. I have talked about this part of his life in earlier Podcasts called Our John Chapter 1 & Chapter 2 in March this year. He had a badly injured leg and walked with a slight limp. In fact he mastered it so well it was more like a skip! He always referred to it as his ‘wooden leg’. He had such a positive attitude to life, his bottle was always half full. No matter what dreadful thing I did he would say “Ah sure it is not as bad as a bad marriage!” He found fun and laughter in all we did. Our 21 years together passed like a short weekend.

Helen, a friend I met on holiday in Spain the month before Elly started nursery school. Helen and her husband were holidaying away from their children for the very first time. Helen’s strong maternal instinct drew her to Elly. We discovered over the few days that we shared many interests. We became instant friends I was really drawn to Helen by her infectious laughter. It was impossible to be in her company for longer than five minutes without vibrating with laughter.

Helen’s life was crossed by many health complications over the years, but she never let this fact get her down. She is a true friend and when we talk or meet up the conversation flows without the gap of the weeks or months since we last spoke. There is one thing sure when I finish a phone call to Helen I feel like I have had a couple of weeks in the sunshine.

Remember: You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.

Now it is your turn…

20th September was a 1st Anniversary for me!

To be truthful it was the first Birthday of my Baby. Now Elly calm down and don’t get all worked up. There is nothing for you to be excited about. Relax and rest up after all that travel round Europe. I will talk to you tomorrow.

The baby I refer to is my blog. The very first post consisted of five lines. Today I could ask the same question “Am I mad or just insane? What would I have to say that would be of interest to other people?”

I suppose I have improved a little and from time to time amused the odd passerby.

There is one thing for sure, it is much more fun that I ever expected. I have made friends across the globe, spoken to a few and physically met several. I hope not to have made any enemies along the road. Granny surely you know I love admire Grandad and his easy way with words.

I am now at the stage of feeling guilty on the days when I fail to find the words for a post. It is now more important to read the work of my new found friends and laugh, learn and sometimes weep at the stories they have to tell. Thank you one and all for help, encouragement and faithfully returning to to leave comments.

I never for one moment thought I would last a month never mind a full year.

Cheers, thanks & hugs!

Today is a very special day for Granny over at Granny lost the Plot.

It is a Happy candle day.

Welcome to the Club.

Remember you are not 60.

You are 30 with 30 years experience of being 30!

Sharing this birth date were:

• Alfred, Lord Tennyson 1809, English poet famous for “ The Lady of Shalott” and “The Charge of the Light Brigade”.
• Alexander Fleming 1881 Scottish scientist who discovered penicillin at St Mary’s Hospital, London in 1928.
• Charles Crichton 1910 English film director who directed The lavender Hill Mob and thirty years later, A Fish Called Wanda.
• Lucille Ball 1911 American comedienne who starred in the series I Love Lucy.
• Robert Mitchum 1917 American actor who starred in The Enemy Below, Cape Fear, The longest Day and many other films.

On this day in:

1623 Death of Anne Hathaway, William Shakespeare’s wife.

1926 Gertrude Ederle aged 20 from New York, became the first woman to swim the English Channel in a lung-bursting 14 hours 31 minutes, battering the 51-year-old record held by Englishman Matthew Webb, by 1hour 59 minutes.

1988 The Russian ballerina Natalia Makarova dances with the Kirov Ballet for the first time since she defected 18 years previously and gains a 35-minute standing ovation for her performance as Odette in Swan lake.

For fun statistics and your astrological data for today go to:

http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp

Come back and tell us what you find.

Many Happy Returns Granny!

On the night of My Elly’s wedding to George I thought I saw a ‘Gate-Crasher’ sloping about. Well now I know my hunch was correct. It was a little old lady biddy swathed in a shawl. At one point she was down the hallway looking closely at the room next to the Bridal Suite. I was going to ask if she needed help, but decided all the Toy-boys were waiting to trip the light fantastic with me, so I left her to her own devices.

Now not alone do I know she was an intruder but I have evidence of her identity! She admitted it on the internet! Yes she was talking about it on her Blog. It was Granny! She is a Spy! Maybe Grandad put her up to it. So how did she manage it? I know how. It was the mirror.

So how do I know? I have a friend who is a policewoman, she travels all over the US speaking at seminars for business women; she passed this information on to me.

“When you visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., do you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror (i.e., they can see you, but you can’t see them)?

 

There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms. It is very difficult to positively identify the surface by just looking at it.

 

So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type of mirror we are looking at? Just conduct this simple test:

 

Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a GENUINE mirror.

 

However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then BEWARE, FOR IT IS a 2-WAY MIRROR!”

Now I realise that I should have warned my Elly, but the list of ‘Do’s and Don’ts’ I have given her over the years is as long as the M50.

So now that the horse has bolted Remember:

“No Space, Leave the Place”
Every time you see a Mirror, do the “fingernail test.” It doesn’t cost you anything.

Grandad has some shopping to do this weekend. We all know he is no stranger to the craft. Alas when it comes to shopping he has no idea how to do it with style.

Imagine buying a vacuum cleaner as a present for a very special Lady on a very Special Day. Well I think I found the ideal gift:

http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/racing-grannies/index.html

If he is feeling left out there is something there for him as well!

Enjoy.

Grandad and Granny went away for a few days last month. He told us they went to a small comfortable hotel in the west. Part of that story was true, they did go to the west but it was a camping holiday.

After they got their tent all set up, both Granny & Grandad fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Granny wakes Grandad and says, “St James’s Street tonight, look up to the sky; what do you see?”

Grandad replies, “I see millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?” asked Granny.

Grandad scratches his head and ponders for a minute then says, “Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What’s it tell you, Granny?”

“You are dumber than K8’s dog. Someone has stolen our tent.”

We might take that train journey from one coast to the other. When we have had enough of the scenery we might meet up with ‘The Raging Grannies’. They have branches all over the place. In fact we might learn some of their songs and start up our own branch in Ireland when we get back.

There was a time in my young days when passing the window of a shoe shop, particularly in early springtime, was an utter impossibility for me. It was a time when my hard earned cash provided me with a new outfit each spring, summer, autumn and winter. These outfits became ‘Sunday best’. The purchasing was not complete until the hat; gloves, bag and shoes all matching, were chosen.

I am talking about the days where all well mannered young ladies attending any job interview arrived punctually wearing her hat and her gloves. On entering the interview room she stood until invited to sit down. When sitting she kept her knees together and not crossed, keeping her gloves on throughout the meeting! “Why?” I hear you ask. Taking off ones gloves was considered forward and gave the impression that you were there to stay! Gosh I am so glad that things have moved on since then.

Leaving that tangent, I come back to my topic of shoes. I am not quite in the ‘Imelda Marcos’ category but I do confess to several pairs of shoes. I like to keep them clean and place shoe-trees in them as soon as I take them off. This helps keep them in shape and good condition. When they have cooled off I store them in their boxes lined with tissue. I have shoes that were purchased eight or nine years ago and still they look like new. They have spent more time on my feet than in the boxes.

Yesterday I ventured out to look for a new pair of shoes to go with the outfit that Elly helped me choose for her wedding. I headed for Ballymena and McKillen’s a well known Footwear Emporium in these parts. I walked slowly past the goods on display and realised once more that age was catching up on me. On past visits I have found difficulty in choosing only one pair of shoes. This time I was saddened that nothing appealed to me – I came away empty handed. I did find another shop who had a pair in the colour I wanted but alas not in my size. They offered to call their other branches this morning to see if they had my size. A phone call in the last hour confirmed my hunch that I was out of Luck. I am back to square one.

Now in desperation I have searched the net and think I have found the very thing. I wonder if I posted them to Granny would she wear them for a day or two to break them in for me.

So what do you think lads, would these heels do something for you?

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her G.P. to ask his help in reviving her husband’s libido.

“What about trying Viagra?” asks the doctor?

“Not a chance,” she said. “He won’t even take an aspirin!”

“Not a problem,” replied the doctor. “Give him an Irish Viagra. Drop it into his coffee. He won’t even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.”

It wasn’t a week later that she called the doctor, who inquired as to
progress.

The poor woman exclaimed, “Oh, Saint Francis tonight! T’was terrible. Just terrible, doctor!”

“Really? What happened?” asked the doctor.

“Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the
effect was almost immediate. He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely!

With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!”

“Why so terrible?” asked the doctor. “Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn’t good?”

“Oh, no, no, no, Doctor, the sex was fine indeed! T’was the best sex I’ve had in 25 years. But sure as I’m sittin’ here, I’ll never be able to show me face in the village coffee shop again!”