Grannymar

On Tuesday, rather stuck for an idea to post I mentioned my task of ironing.

Alice from My Wintersong has challenged me to give instructions for ironing a shirt.  I warn you I do it exactly like my mother did!

Way back… when I was little more than the height of the ironing board, I was taught to use the iron.  First it was the handkerchiefs. it was back in the days before boxes of tissues became the norm.  From that I graduated to my brothers pyjamas!  A pyjama jacket was in fact a dress rehearsal for ironing shirts.  Back then shirts were worn by all men and boys; all day every day.   They were white, heavy cotton and difficult to keep in pristine condition.  Collars and cuffs needed to be starched and that was an art in itself.

In the early days of Black & White Television, the Newsreaders wore light blue shirts.  “Why?”  I hear you ask.  A white shirt came over on screen as a dull well worn greyish colour, while the light blue shirt appeared to be as white as the driven snow.

So to the task in hand…

Is the ironing board cover clean?  Have you been using it to press blue jeans?  The colour does transfer eventually.  Turn jeans inside out before washing and pressing and any fading will then be on the inside.  The same applies to all black items, it certainly slows down the greying process.

Nowadays most of us use a steam iron.  When did you last vacuum yours?   OK!  OK!  I hear you laughing, but it is important.  Any water remaining in the iron at the end of a pressing session should be emptied and the iron allowed to air and dry.  Now we all know that water leaves stains… the shower will verify this fact.  When the iron has been sitting for a few days, take the vacuum hose to the sole plate and vacuum the water holes.  It will remove the dried out rust specks that remain when the water evaporates.  Those same specks are what leaves rust or dirty marks on freshly ironed clothes…. and as we all know they love the front of a blouse or shirt!

So we have the ironing board set to a comfortable height, and the iron heating to the required temperature.  The little label down low on an inside seam will give you that answer.  Even so, always check the dial and press an inconspicuous part of all garments before ironing for the first time OR if someone else has used the iron before you, they may not have returned the dial to where you want it.

So now we need the shirt…

This should be fun, trying to take photos with my left hand as I iron with my right one!

The pin tucks should tell you that this is a dress shirt.  I always begin with the buttonhole band, underside up and holding it taut I apply a little pressure and work my way from the tail to the collar.  Then I repeat this process with the button band, with the buttons facing the board, then there is no chance of removing them with the iron.

Step two is the collar.  Place the collar front side facing you.  The upper fabric is marginally bigger than the stiffening layer to allow for a neat fit as it bends around the neck.  The most common problem is that some people iron from one side to the other in one movement and end up with a mini bulge at the seam.  Unfortunately this error shows up at eye level…. not something you need when attending an important interview!

So begin with I press the neck band before going back to one edge of the collar and press with a little pressure to the centre and then from the other edge to the centre.  This way you get a crisp professional finish.

Then it is on to the yoke; slip the shirt carefully on to the ironing board to fill out one shoulder.  Press from the shoulder edge to the centre careful to avoid adding further creases to the fabric.  Remove and do the same from the other side.

Now it is on to the sleeves.  I admit to not using a sleeve board for everyday shirts.  I do have one and make good use of it for other items.  I straighten out the sleeve along the underarm seam and press from there to the center shoulder line and work my way along the sleeve to the cuff.  Thankfully I have never needed to press a shirt for a member of the PSNI a regulation shirt requires not one crease line but two creases, equidistant along each arm of the uniform shirt.

Now for the final stretch… The body of the shirt.  Begin on the left front and work from the shoulder end down the front to the tail.

Then move the shirt until the side seam in near the back of the board ans slowly iron your way to the other side seam, and continue to the right front working from the tail end to the shoulder.

And Voila:

The finished item.

This description seems to make a major task out of ironing, but it really takes only about five minutes to complete one shirt.  Thankfully my days of ironing fifteen or more shirts in one session are over.  In those days the finished items were folded and looked like they were just out of a package.  Nowadays I just hang the freshly ironed shirt on a hanger and place in a wardrobe when fully aired.

You want to see the shirt on me now?  Sorry I need to find my bow tie first, so it will have to wait for another day!

It was supposed to be one of my rest days.  However, I was awake in time to hear the shipping weather forecast at 5.20 am on BBC Radio 4 .  I lay and listened until about seven fifteen before hunger pangs got the better of me.

Going to the kitchen, I filled & boiled the kettle then set my muesli covered in orange juice, a side bowl of dried fruit & nuts, the mornings medication, a beaker and a coffee pot filled with boiling water on a tray.  Back I went to bed with my feast.  I was determined to stay in bed for a couple more hours.  Tobias was patiently waiting to amuse me when the food was finished.

The calm was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.  Wrapped in my dressing gown I went to investigate.  With a bunch of keys like those of a jailer I undid the locks and opened the door expecting to see the Post man with a large letter or parcel.

It was not the Post man.

It was a young man.  He had my address.  He seemed surprised that I was not expecting him.

Ok!  So this is where you come in….

Which of you asked the Environmental Health Department to come and FUMIGATE my house????

I told the guy he was a little early and he offered to come back.

“You are 363 days early” I said.  “April Fools day has passed for this year!”

He was not amused.

I was!

I finally convinced him that he had the incorrect address and sent him on his way.

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I got figgety and had to get up.  I needed to clean something, anything to rid myself of the feeling that my house was dirty.  The sun was shining so I went outdoors selected a task and set to work.  Several hours later I had this to show for my pains:

Never mind the state of the bucket it had served well for about 30 years.  The brown stuff inside it came from the spouting at the front of my bungalow .  Don’t tell Elly I was climbing a ladder, she will kill me.  In the past cleaning the spouts would have taken me about two hours all told.  It took me most of the day this time, I move more slowly now and needed to stop for rest several times.  I managed to clear up and put everything away before the rain started.

I have been resting ever since!  No! I will not climb up to clean the spouts at the back, as it is as high as a two story house.  I will find a toyboy to do that job for me.

Yesterday was a fidgety day. I often get them nowadays. Unable to settle to a single task, I flit like a butterfly from one thing to another. I cleared a cupboard, sorted some washing, ironed some knitwear and listed the batteries I needed to purchase…. several are not holding their charge as long as they should. More than 20 batteries are needed at first count.

You know how it goes – keyboard, mouse, camera, condiment set, clock and the one place I almost forgot. My safe! Of late I noticed that when I keyed in my pin no. for the safe, that the door would not open. It took at least five tries yesterday. So I found the instructions and as I read through it I noticed something about batteries It works on batteries and not fresh air. I removed the old ones and they were not rechargeable. While checking the details I noticed in small print; for expiry date see base. I turned it over and right enough it had a date – December 2004. What year is this? I hope I don’t need my crown jewels before Monday.

Oh dear, I forgot another one…..

Relax!

I tested the most important battery – the one in my smoke alarm and it works. Here in Norn Iron we have or did have a TV Campaign to remind everyone to test their smoke alarms. ‘Thumbs up its Monday’ was the slogan chanted by a group of Fireman in full regalia. So this week I am a day early.

In the cupboard I cleared I came across an old folder with a spring spine, it had stickers on the cover both inside and out. There are six in total and I will share them with you over the next few weeks.

This is the first:

Several posts have had a lavatorial theme of late and since Nancy passed this on to me, I think it is just what I need to clean up my act.

#~#~#~#

Put both the lid and the seat of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close down the lid. You may need to stand on the lid. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a ‘power-wash’ and ‘rinse’.

Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both the lid and the seat.

The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
Both the bowl and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,
The Dog

I am not talking personal hygiene here, but I am going back to the days when any decent young lady was not available for a date on one night of the week because she was washing her hair!

I take you back to the days before pressing buttons, and we are not talking modern phone help lines here…!

My back is broken!

I have spent the morning slaving away in the garden. Cutting grass and pulling weeds. Exhausted I sat to have a coffee and to daydream….

I have solved my gardening problem and want to share it with you

http://www.procreo.jp/labo/flower_garden.swf

When you click on the link you will get a black page.

Click your mouse anywhere on the black page & see what happens!

Better yet, click & drag your mouse forward and backwards over the black page…

If only gardening was this easy…..