Grannymar

Modern day kitchens are a world apart from those of my young days. Back then They were places of labour; cooking, washing, and polishing were among the regular tasks accomplished there. Modern day appliances were unheard of. Nowadays modern cookers, microwaves, blenders, juicers and food processors take the hard work out of preparing and cooking food.

Washing machines, tumble dryers and dishwashers work at the press of a button. Fabrics are easy to maintain without the need of starching and ironing. Entertaining today is very relaxed with friends sharing a meal around the kitchen table rather than the more formal gatherings of yesteryear.

With these changes the kitchen provides an opportunity to express ones character in decoration or art work. Art is very personal, Your choice may not be mine.

This is NOT my kitchen, but I did take the photograph.

If you were away over the weekend then you missed Grannymar’s new Transport! Everyone from Steph to Phil are really jealous and want the chance to sit on/drive/ride it.

Now I will let you into a secret….

I saw the contraption bike around the town on several occasions recently. I realised that I knew who owned it. Most days last week it was parked on the pavement outside a jewellery shop. Well I say jewellery, but you know the type - high style today but well out of fashion by the weekend. On Friday the temptation was far too much…

I went into the shop which had several customers browsing around at the time. I walked to a counter topped with a glass case displaying watches. A young gentleman came and asked if he could help me.

GM - “How many watches do you need to buy to get the bike”?

Howls of laughter break out all around the shop.

GM - “That bike outside, it belongs to you doesn’t it”?

More laughter.

Everyone - “It belongs to David, the boss!”

GM - “Do you think I could take a photograph of it please”?

Young man - “Sure, that would be no problem.”

GM - “What I really would like is to sit on it and have a photograph taken!”

Flurry to find the keys to switch off the bike’s alarm. It seemed like everyone wanted me to sit on David’s bike, mind you David was not there at the time.

So out of the shop I walked with a Toyboy young salesman. He flicked his flicker and we heard the bike beep, it was now safe for me to climb on board. I did

Sitting up in the seat with more chins than a Chinese phone book I arranged myself for the photo by stretching out my arms to put them on the handlebars.

The handlebars were miles away!

Young man - “Ahem! That is the pillion seat, I think you need to move down to the lower level”.

I did…… with difficulty. He took the photo and another one for good measure

and then the real fun started…

I constantly say “Be careful what you wish for because you might just get it!” Well it looked like I got what I asked for; I was on the bike, and how in all that was good and holy was I ever going to get off it?

Thankfully the young man was a gentleman and didn’t take a picture!

With each day the knees creak a little more, the hip aches and I am now unable to run for a bus. The fact that buses seldom come my way is beside the point. I still drive and the car is my lifeline. What would I do if I had no car It is a topic that to date I have avoided like the plague.

It made me think…. I might find a pair of

Nowadays there are so many contraptions to aid with mobility, I might upgrade to this

I could always call a Taxi…

Mind you if the state of the office is anything like the driving, I might walk.

What am I worried about, sure I have a Son-in-Law and he is a good driver with a nice car. But oh dear!…

Now that will never do so I must dig a little deeper….

Now you are talking. That was just made for me!

A biker from Ballydehob went to the local garage to have his bike fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far away and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at a hardware shop and bought a bucket and an anvil. Next he went to see a livestock dealer and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.

However, struggling back onto the street he now had a problem: how to carry all his purchases home. While he is scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost.

She asked, “Can you tell me how to get to Ballydehob Post office?”

The biker said, “Well, as a matter of fact, I live right beside it. I would walk you home, but I can’t carry all this.”

The old lady suggested, “Why don’t you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?” Why thank you very much,” he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says, “Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.”

The little old lady looked him over cautiously and then said, “I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?”

The biker said, “Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?”

The lady replied, “Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.”