Grannymar

If you were away over the weekend then you missed Grannymar’s new Transport! Everyone from Steph to Phil are really jealous and want the chance to sit on/drive/ride it.

Now I will let you into a secret….

I saw the contraption bike around the town on several occasions recently. I realised that I knew who owned it. Most days last week it was parked on the pavement outside a jewellery shop. Well I say jewellery, but you know the type - high style today but well out of fashion by the weekend. On Friday the temptation was far too much…

I went into the shop which had several customers browsing around at the time. I walked to a counter topped with a glass case displaying watches. A young gentleman came and asked if he could help me.

GM - “How many watches do you need to buy to get the bike”?

Howls of laughter break out all around the shop.

GM - “That bike outside, it belongs to you doesn’t it”?

More laughter.

Everyone - “It belongs to David, the boss!”

GM - “Do you think I could take a photograph of it please”?

Young man - “Sure, that would be no problem.”

GM - “What I really would like is to sit on it and have a photograph taken!”

Flurry to find the keys to switch off the bike’s alarm. It seemed like everyone wanted me to sit on David’s bike, mind you David was not there at the time.

So out of the shop I walked with a Toyboy young salesman. He flicked his flicker and we heard the bike beep, it was now safe for me to climb on board. I did

Sitting up in the seat with more chins than a Chinese phone book I arranged myself for the photo by stretching out my arms to put them on the handlebars.

The handlebars were miles away!

Young man - “Ahem! That is the pillion seat, I think you need to move down to the lower level”.

I did…… with difficulty. He took the photo and another one for good measure

and then the real fun started…

I constantly say “Be careful what you wish for because you might just get it!” Well it looked like I got what I asked for; I was on the bike, and how in all that was good and holy was I ever going to get off it?

Thankfully the young man was a gentleman and didn’t take a picture!

I sat on my fury long enough.

You saw this picture and caption here on my blog the other day. I was annoyed not alone for myself, but also for Grandad and indeed for all older bloggers. If we were really weird, a major company like Microsoft would not have offered sponsorship for this category at the Irish Blog Awards.

Tonight I decided to deal with my fury and confront the Irish Independent with the email below.

Dear Editor,

On Thursday last I received a phone call encouraging me to read that day’s Irish Independent. On Page 18 of the Business section I discovered my photo. The surprise was not the photo, because it was taken at a public event.

The shock was the heading! ‘WEIRD WIDE WEB’ The caption was ‘Senior citizen bloggers known as Grannymar and Grandad tied for the award of the best personal blog at the Irish Blog Awards 2008’. Congratulations, you managed to get our names correct. Now before you make any more mistakes we are not married and met for the first time at the event.

I sat on my fury for a few days hoping that it would abate. It didn’t.

Please explain what is weird about older people blogging? Further down the page was a picture of two other Bloggers, young ladies half my age, I know that since one of them happens to be my daughter! You would not dare put a caption - ‘WEIRD WIDE WEB’ above them, I guarantee if you had, my daughter would have your guts for garters!

Am I wrong in assuming that the heading and caption were written by a young journalist? Why is that once silver threads begin to appear we are written off or thought to have lost our marbles? Let me tell you, neither Grandad nor I have lost our ability to use modern technology. We are both familiar with computers, email, blogging, Podcasting, Levelator, Skype and indeed Facebook!

I consider the term ‘WEIRD WIDE WEB’ an insult to all older Bloggers and hope that you will apologise to Grandad and I on page 18 of the business section next Thursday.

Sincerely

Grannymar

or print.

This little beauty appeared in the Business section of the Irish Independent on Thursday 6th March.

I may not have a degree in engineering or technology, but I try to use the few grey cells that I have. Growing up with red hair and freckles really toughens you for life and as my grandmother taught me many moons ago:

‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me!

I won’t let it bother me, instead I will smile and remember a conversation the previous day.

On my journeys between Co Antrim and Dublin I always have a stop to stretch my legs and drink a coffee. Since the road now bypasses Carrickdale I make my stop at The OUTLET Banbridge. While there I made a friend for life! Christine Watson, Marketing Manager for the Centre and I were talking about their web-site. I suggested that she should think of starting a blog to interact and connect with customers and pointed her in the direction of beaut.ie. She was very impressed with their site and Bookmarked it right then and there.

Signing me up for their VIP Club, she needed some info, you know the usual stuff, name, email, etc. Then she asked what age bracket she would put me in, or rather she said ( Now sit up and LISTEN, this is important!!) “45-49 age group, would that be right?” I tried not to splutter and asked Christine to repeat the question, she did!

“45-49 age group, would that be right?” asked Christine.

This time I laughed heartily. “I’m sorry, are you younger than that?” asked a worried Christine.

“No, I am not younger than that” I laughed! “I will be 61 next Monday!”

The smile has not left my face since!

BBC Radio 4 is devoting the month of January to Care in the community. Discussions this week dealt with Dementia and Alzheimer’s. ‘Women’s Hour’ and ‘You and Yours’ approach the problems from different angles. Each day a Podcast of the programme is available, and if you have an aging parent, or are at the butt end of the nursing home jokes, they are worth a listen. There is something to learn for everybody.

One horrendous fact I learned on Wednesday was that for 2008-09 if someone foster’s a young child the allowances are about £121.68 per week. Yet if you are a full time carer for the elderly the allowances are £48.00 per week and that is means tested! If the carer earns over £100 per week the allowance is reduced. If the same patient is admitted to a Nursing Home or Home for the Elderly, the fees range from £500-£600 per week. Very often when someone ill remains within their home it falls to one person to provide the care 24/7 (£48.00), while in a Nursing home the staff change at least every eight hours providing fresh energy to look after the patient.

There is a lot to be said for a fatal heart attack!

Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

You buy shoes with crepe rubber soles.

The only reason you’re still awake at 2 a.m. is indigestion.

People ask you what colour your hair used to be.

You enjoy watching the news.

You have a dream about prunes.

You have more than 2 pair of glasses.

You read the obituaries daily.

You wear black socks with sandals.

You know all the warning signs of a heart attack.

Rhea at The Boomer Chronicles asked on Wednesday 2^nd January Should Celebrities Who’ve Had Strokes Retire? She opened with this statement:

I feel bad about saying this, but was I the only one cringing as Dick Clark galumphed his way through his annual New Year’s Eve broadcast from Times Square? The effects of his 2004 stroke were in evidence.

I wanted to add my thoughts on the subject at the time, but a senior moment would not allow me to recall a name I needed! I have to admit that I was distracted by a phone call and forgot about my desire to comment for the remainder of the day.

On Thursday LifeTwo blogs by Wesley picked up the subject and asked the same question. He went on to say

“I do feel that the less that stroke victims (or any other disease) are stigmatised the better for all. Mr. Clark had to relearn how to walk and talk and if part of his motivation for doing so was a desire to get back to his regular life then more power to him.”

Unstable health has prevented me from working in gainful employment for the past 5-6 years. I in no way feel ready for the grave! I have my say and interact with people through my blog and various forms of modern technology. Unfortunately the modern world we live in today allows for isolationism. We work, write, speak, shop and all but sleep through computers. It is possible to go for a week or longer without seeing another living soul.

When young and healthy and in a work situation it is easier to think and make regular arrangements for social activities. I have to admit that I miss the social interaction with work colleagues: the laughter to ease a tense work situation, the support when something proves difficult and the praise and sense of achievement for a job well done, and the laughter… yes the laughter at all the little silly things we all do from time to time.

We all become distracted with day to day normal life and those, who for some reason are out of the loop become forgotten. It is not intentional, just the way life is.

If we start excluding people because they suffer the effects of a stroke we are in danger of encouraging the snowball syndrome. Stroke victims today, epileptics tomorrow! We may not agree with the ideas of Professor Stephen Hawking who has had motor neuron disease for practically all his adult life. Yet it has not prevented him from having a family, and being successful in his field of work. Thanks are due to Jane his wife, his children, and a large number of other people and organisations. The condition has progressed more slowly for Stephen than is often the case. But it shows that no one need lose hope of doing something worthwhile.

As the year draws slowly to its close, we all regardless of age seem to look back over the events of the past year, remembering lost loved ones, re-live our celebrations, rejoicing over achievements, tiptoe past disasters and move on to plan for the year ahead.

At first glance sewing seemed to overtake if not punctuate my year at every available space. In fact it was actually a year of great variety. In March I attended the Irish Blog Awards in Dublin, where I had the opportunity to meet with other Bloggers with amazing talent. A week later I turned sixty and officially become a senior citizen.

Over the months many hours were spent talking to Elly simultaneously on the phone and internet working through suggestions, ideas and plans for the wedding.

Moving forward to May I was approached on Skype and asked to help a young man in Italy to improve his English. I almost said no, but now we talk regularly and I think at this stage he can be counted as a friend.

The Wedding in June brought family and friends from across the globe to help celebrate and witness Elly & George’s Special day.

The weather was kind and Elly looked happy and glowing in her outfit. She said that it was very comfortable to wear and gave her the freedom she wanted.

The train of her outfit was detachable and was removed for dancing.

The end of May was rather scary with an emergency trip to hospital but thankfully I have recovered, and learned yet again to listen to my body! By the end of September I had sufficient energy to attend Podcamp in Kilkenny. It gave me the opportunity to learn and share, while renewing old friendships and making new ones.

November saw the passing of Cherry the mother of my new Son-in-Law George. I know that with Elly by his side, and the love of his father and siblings to share the great loss, George will feel the smile of sunshine on his face once more and hear and enjoy the birds singing.

Back in July I quietly marked the 30^th anniversary of the day I married. Sadly, and not by choice, I have been alone for a third of that time. When Jack was alive our world was wonderful and I am thankful for warm loving memories.

The mention of marriage reminds me of a radio interview I smiled at over the holiday, an 80-year-old lady was the focus, because she had just remarried — for the fourth time.

The male interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation.

He’s a funeral director,’ she answered.

Interesting, the young man thought. He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.

After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she’d first married a banker when she was in her early 20’s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40’s, later on a preacher when in her 60’s, and now in her 80’s, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, ‘I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.’

Now Ladies and Gentlemen just stop right now whatever you are doing!

Are you over 30? Nearly forty?

Then the signs are not good!

I was checking my RSS Feeder this morning and while reading through the postings of my regular blogging friends I came across this little Gem:

Facebook founder/media-golden-boy, 24-year-old Mark Zuckerberg, had this advice for aspiring technology entrepreneurs while speaking at a tech conference last spring “I want to stress the importance of being young and technical,’ he stated. ‘If you want to found a successful company, you should only hire young people with technical expertise… Young people are just smarter.”

Ronni Bennett at Time Goes By has a very interesting post on the ‘delights’ of Facebook with comments that stretch almost across the Atlantic. They are all worth reading.

I hope that in 20 years time some young buck still wet behind the ears, stands up at a meeting to remind Mark Zuckerberg of these words!

Maybe I will still be around to smile!

My bed was a mess this morning. I had a disturbed night. It seldom happens, but last night I was dreaming! Serves me right for drinking that Punch!

Some of it is coming back to me now….

“The bags are packed …and he’s ready to go!” So the song goes and the elves were singing it. They have worked long and hard over the past months, making sorting and packing all the items for the sleigh. All the sacks stood by the door ready to go on the sleigh. The elves were wrapped up and outside all set to line up the Reindeer into position and put on the harness for the journey. They stood two by two. First there were Dasher & Dancer, then next stood Prancer & Vixen, closely followed by Comet & Cupid and lastly Donder & Blitzen. With all of these fine fellows in line, Rudolph being an old hand. walked to the front of the line and took his place…..

I must have dosed off because the next thing I realised was that the sleigh was packed and with a great Ho! Ho! HO! Santa was waving to Mrs Claus and all the elves… and then look what happened:

All that planning and checking his lists and reindeers fed etc. then a reindeer keels over….

This was a calamity so the reindeer were un-harnessed and the sacks of Toys and games were returned to the house…….

Back in the land of my dreams I realised we were moving and heard Santa mutter to himself “With only 24 hours to travel to all the children right round the world this is not the way to begin”. The bags were not as neatly packed this time and Santa found it hard to get comfortable. Nevertheless there was no going back now, it was onward and upward.

Arriving at the first house Santa made his way down the chimney struggling with a very full sack. It felt a little different for the list he had for the household.

When he opened the sack he had a great shock, “This never happened before” he said, ” How did I get the dirty washing? Wait until I get back home, the elves will know all about it. It is a good job I have the bag of spare toys!”

The last part I remember really shocked me and I covered my eyes…

I hope it was not Elly & George!

Here I am back at my own puter and the words are behaving like my singing voice does these days. I open my mouth to sing and nothing - zilch comes out. Now I was never in any doubt of my lack of singing talent, but I always enjoyed singing along with the crowd or the radio.

The left ear is getting worse so if you want to whisper sweet nothings into my shell like, make it the right one. When I answer the phone, I am not greeted with “Good morning Grannymar, how are you?” No I hear “Oh Grannymar that is a dreadful cold you have!” My voice is hoarse and my throat is sore in the mornings.

So before the Elly wan starts nagging, I have phoned the Health Centre. Would you believe it, my GP has no appointments left this year! YES, I did say no appointments left this year. They did offer to ask her to phone me and she did within half an hour. She said it would be a good idea to be seen today so she gave me an appointment to see someone else this afternoon.

I wonder if they can do head transplants yet? If not I might ask if the do shotguns on the NHS. I have to do something ’cause it is very waring having to remember to keep the Toy boy on my right side.

So when next you hear from me I might be topless. Now that would make an interesting picture me driving home topless with my head on the passenger seat. Do you think the head will need a seatbelt?

Sing among yourselves for now….