They saw her and began calling greetings to her, “Hello - How are you! We’ve been waiting for you! Good to see you.”

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, “This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?” “You have to spell a word,”
Saint Peter told her.

“Which word?” the woman asked.

“Love.”

The woman correctly spelled “Love” and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

“I’m surprised to see you,” the woman said. “How have you been?”

“Oh, I’ve been doing pretty well since you died,” her husband told her. “I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?”

“You have to spell a word,” the woman told him.

“Which word?” her husband asked.

“Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis”, she replied.

Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry . . . there will be Hell to pay!

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Where did I get this one?  It came from a very old friend!

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NB: The longest word currently listed in the Oxford dictionary is the supposed lung-disease pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (45 letters).  Please do not ask me to say or spell it, as my granny used to say… I just slapped it down!

I was searching for some paperwork and still have not found it.  Did you hide it?

Not to worry it is not that important and in the process I did clear papers back to the year 2000.  So that is why I have nothing to show from my needle crafts today.  Sure you all needed a rest anyway, so I will try to make up for it next week.

Stay dry, warm and safe until then!

]]> http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2010/09/08/did-you-miss-me-2/feed/ http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2010/09/07/what-can-i-do/ http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2010/09/07/what-can-i-do/#comments Tue, 07 Sep 2010 05:00:41 +0000 Grannymar http://www.grannymar.com/blog/?p=8450 “We are on the precipice of a major financial melt down and one which will change the way the world and its people live in the next couple of decades.    I have just been reading some statistics which simply don’t add up to a bright future.” So said a friend of mine in conversation the other day.

So what can I do about it in my little corner of the globe?

Over the past three or fours years I have noticed a big change in my cost of living.  You may think my needs are few, and they are, living alone with nobody under my care, but that has little effect on some of the expenses.  The cost of living is going up, up, up!  Each time you go to a supermarket the prices have risen yet again.  I certainly do not live on fillet steak or caviare, but have good healthy meals cooking everything from scratch like my mother and grandmother before me.

So I have and own a small bungalow with all the usual outgoings.  There is no reduction on Local Government Rates or heating oil because I am alone.  I pay the same utilities as every other householder whether there are twenty, twelve or only one person in a house.

I need electricity for cooking, lighting and running the heating boiler.
A telephone is a necessity and wireless broadband is my luxury.  I have no TV by choice.

I run a small 10 year old car – more a necessity than a luxury since I live at the top of a hill and public transport is a joke in my area.

Then there is Insurance for house and separately for the car with the usual annual up-keep maintenance for both house and car.  In the past I have serviced my car myself, changing the oil, oil filter and spark plugs.  Alas, I do not have the strength in my hands any more for such tasks.  I would admit to knowing nothing about break pads or replacing them.* Even putting air in my tires, is no longer something I can do myself.

So far I have not mentioned shoe leather – or the clothing needed to go with it.  Shoe leather and clothing wear out and need replacing.  Nudism is not really acceptable or the most sensible of ideas when living in Ireland, especially for somebody who feels the cold like I do.  Only last week while walking in warm mid-day sunshine I realised that from the balls of my feet to my toes had gone numb, yes the temperature has dropped, in the past week but we are a long way from real winter!  I was not wearing sandals, but socks and trainers under my trousers.

I am not complaining, just stating facts.

If what my friend (above) says is true, how can I make changes?  What do I give up first?  Get rid of the telephone or my car?  The heating oil or the food shopping?

Do I go back to the old ways of Bartering?

How many buttons will I need to stitch on in exchange for a tank of oil?

Do YOU see a way round it?

I suppose I could always roll down the hill behind the bottle wall.  Hypothermia is bound to kick in before I am missed or found!

* I may not know much about break pads, but I do know what the wheel balancing weights look like!  I have used them in the past covered in fabric to weigh down the base of an embroidered banner.

Tomato and Chilli Sauce

3 lbs firm and ripe tomatoes,
1 small onion, cut into chunks,
1 large or two small tart apples, cut into chunks,
12 ozs brown sugar,
½ bird’s eye chilli, minced,
¼ teaspoon ground cayenne pepper,
¼ teaspoon ground paprika,
¼ teaspoon freshly cracked black peppercorns,
12 fl ozs malt vinegar,
salt to taste,
1 teaspoonful corn flour dissolved in
½ teaspoonful water
Reduce any spices you think will make the sauce too hot for you.

Put the halved or quartered tomatoes, onion and apple chunks in the food processor. Process until smooth. Pour into a large saucepan on a medium heat. Put in the rest ingredients
Stir to dissolve the sugar. Let the mixture bubble and keep stirring to avoid the fruit mixture sticking on the bottom of the pan. When the mixture is reduced and the colour is darker, have a taste. You can add more spices, salt or sugar, to give the correct balance, according to your preference.

Line a large bowl or jug with a muslin cloth.  Remove the saucepan from the heat, then, pour the hot sauce through the muslin.  Press to get more moisture from the sauce and scrape any residue on the outside of the muslin into the bowl.  Discard the leftover tomato mixture in the muslin and return the sauce to the saucepan and put it back on the heat.
Simmer on a low heat until bubbling again. Add the cornflour dissolved in the water, and cook for another 10 minutes to thicken. Pour immediately into the prepared sterilised jars or bottles leaving ¼ inch headroom.
When cold, cork tightly and store.  Mark with name and date.

In the past few months I have had several requests for suggestions of  places to see while visiting Ireland.

I love the island of Ireland and would find it difficult, and gain enemies if I tried to cover the whole place in just 1,000 words.

I could write for a month and still not cover all the wonderful aspects of my native land, so instead I decided to dip in and out of the counties, over several weeks, and include various links that you can explore at your leisure and return to many times before finally planning an Irish Holiday.

Ireland may look small and seem like you could travel from one end to the other is a day, it is in fact possible and only worthwhile if you enjoy watching the road.  The island covers 32,599 square miles, at its widest the island is about 174 miles  and at its longest (north-south) it is 302 miles.

For my friends across the pond, Ireland is about the size of the State of Indiana (U.S.). Indiana is 35,910 square miles in area.  The population of the island of Ireland is between 5 and 6 million, much the same as Indiana.

Map courtesy of Our-Ireland.com.

The coastline is magnificent, it extends for over 3,000 miles  and is indented by numerous peninsulas. There are mountains along much of its perimeter.  Carrantuohill is the highest mountain in Ireland. It is part of Macgillicuddy’s Reeks, a rugged twelve-mile ridge which stretches along the south west corner of the island, not far from the Atlantic shore.  Along the West coast it is possible to find hidden beaches with only the birds and the sound of the breeze for company.

So today I will stick to the basics, the information you need before any holiday to my part of the world.

The island includes the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland which is part of the UK.

The currency for ROI is the Euro (€).  The Euro comes in denominations of: Coins:1¢, 2¢, 5¢, 10¢, 20¢, 50¢, €1, €2. Notes: €5, €10, €20, €50, €100, €200, and €500.  The coins have a map of Europe on one side and the national symbol on the other, Ireland’s national symbol is the harp, but it can be used throughout the 12 participating EU states. The notes have a map of Europe on one side.  **

Northern Ireland still use the Pound Sterling (£) but many places will accept the Euro.

Major Credit Cards - particularly Visa, MasterCard, and American Express - are widely accepted though some B&B’s will only accept cash. You can also use them to withdraw cash from Ireland’s many ATMs.

While on the topic of money – I suggest you guys stitch up the back pockets of your jeans before travelling.  A bulging wallet protruding from a back pocket is an invitation for nimble fingered thieves.  You have been warned!

Remember in Ireland we drive on the left hand side of the road, and all cars are right-hand drive. A manual transmission car is standard but automatics are available. EU driving licences are treated as Irish. If you’re from outside the EU its generally a good idea to obtain an International Driving Permit (IDP), obtained from your local automobile association.

Traffic speeds are in Kilometres in the republic and in MPH in Northern Ireland(UK).  In cities, it is usually best to avoid driving during the morning and evening rush-hours, especially in Dublin.

You need to relax and soak up the scenery, the people and the atmosphere, yes that includes the rain, but without it Ireland would not have those wonderful 40 Shades of Green!  All you gain from rushing about is raised blood pressure and or an ulcer,  neither a souvenir you want to take home.  Away from the hub-bub of the cities you will find the speech sl..o…w….s down and people move at a more relaxed pace.  Live it and enjoy!

So what do you need?  Stout walking shoes to begin, and dress like an onion!  Plenty of layers to peel on and off as needed.  We are known for having all four seasons in one half hour, but not for wearing green – only American Tourists do that! ;)  A waterproof layer is essential, but on occasion I have been proved wrong.  Better to have it and not need it than to be continually soaked.

Everyone speaks English and An Ghaeltacht, refers individually to any, or collectively to all, of the districts that Irish is the predominant language.  They are mostly on the west or south coasts of Ireland.

Urban Ireland became very cosmopolitan with the Celtic Tiger, with a large variety of International restaurants springing up, offering food from all corners of the globe.  The day of the token ‘vegetarian’ option is fast fading.

Starting next Sunday I hope to begin my journey around the country by taking an area or county and pointing to the high points.  If you have suggestions or questions let me know in the comments and I will try to answer or find the answers for you.  Remember that like in all things I do, I am no expert and only sharing what I know or have experienced.

I hope you will join me and enjoy the journey.

** UPDATE:  See Elly’s comment below about the large denomination Euro notes.

Joanne was in a hurry to get married.

It was her dream since she was about ten years old.  She had spent her days playing house and nursing her dolls.  Not wanting to stay in school a day longer than needed, she left on her sixteenth birthday.  She was fortunate to find a job in a local jewellery store not far from her home.  The baubles were a far cry from the Crown jewels, more your cheap and cheerful with plenty of bright lights to make them sparkle!

The first few weeks passed quickly in learning all the lines the store stocked and how to display them to their best advantage.  Moving baubles this way or that under the powerful overhead lights made them sparkle and dazzle the buyer.

Unfortunately, she soon found that few men came into the jewellery shop; it was patronized by women who fantasized about having the “real thing” but settled for “cheap and cheerful.”

Once she took on the duty of dressing the window, she noticed subtle changes.  She suddenly had lots of male admirers but she was never sure whether their interest was genuine or whether they thought they could get cut-price jewellery or special prices from her.

She seemed destined never to meet the man of her dreams and began to regret leaving school so early, but late one foggy, misty day a young man entered the store - more to get out of the weather than a need to purchase baubles. But he took one look at Joanne and thought, I could convince this dame that I fell madly in love with her. It was a regular game he played.

He pretended to look at jewellery but really could not take his eyes off of the beautiful Joanne. He stayed as long as he dared at the counter having her show him one piece of jewellery after another. Even though he did not have a dime in his pocket (or in his bank) he could not tear himself away from her. He could tell by the look in her lovely blue eyes that she was smitten with him, too.

Was this the man of her dreams? “No, she thought, ”It couldn’t be. The man of my dreams is tall and handsome and rich.” But why, then, is my heart beating so wildly and why are my palms so moist as I brush his hand when showing him the jade bracelet?

Suddenly, the door of the Jewellery store is flung open and a policeman enters and shouts…………

“NOBODY MOVE”!

Walking slowly and deliberately to the counter the tone changed.

“This man is a suspect.  I need you to gather up every piece of jewellery that he touched and put them in a bag.  In fact, to be sure, put every item that you showed him into that bag and we will take them for forensic examination.

Nervously Joanne gathered all the items and placed them in a chamois bag before handing them to the officer.  He thanked her and walked out the door with the young man, chatting in a very friendly way.

“JOANNE!”  Came the call from Downstairs.  Her mother sounded cross.

Oh dear!  Joanne overslept again this morning.  If she didn’t get a move on she would be late for school again today!

Bottles

Bottles come in many colours, shapes & sizes and are often used to provide nourishment at the different stages of our lives.

Poetic licence here, the last one is not really a bottle, but I have on occasion had liquid from all the varieties shown so far!

Today I would like to concentrate on the second life of bottles.  What do you mean you didn’t know bottles had a second life?

Glass is an excellent material for re-use, it is sterile, safe and 100% recyclable.  The recycling process can be repeated endlessly without any loss of quality.  Recycled glass reduces the amount of rubbish that needs to go into landfill.

On a recent visit to St George’s Market in Belfast, I discovered two such ‘Second Lives’!

This young lady was from Greenglass based in Cornwall.  All the glasses on the stall were made from recycled bottles.  I see from the website that they also make glass bracelets and necklaces.

While still on the wander another stall sold clocks.  The battery operated clock mechanisms were fitted to old records, both LPs and EPs… now Magpie calm down, I know you think this is sacrilege, but it is a nice way to reuse a favourite old scratched record.  I saw someone purchase a David Bowie LP and have the clock mechanism attached at the stall.

On the other part of this same stall were unusual wall clocks made from recycled liquor bottles, each with their original label. I am told the bottles are super heated until flexible and then squashed flat, the label is then reapplied and a clock mechanism is fitted. The very nature of the manufacturing process means that no two clocks are the same. They Require 1 x AA battery, it is not usually included in the price.

What is your tipple?

The final part of my dissertation on recycled bottles comes from my own garden.

I have repeated more times than enough that I live on a hill.  The garden at the back slopes away from the house in two directions.  Half of the plot drops quite suddenly more than the height of a two story house.  It was unsafe for Jack to work there because of the war injuries to his left leg.  I at times found it difficult to balance on two good legs and anyway we could spend a major Lottery prize on landscaping and never be able to enjoy looking at it from either the top of the garden or from inside the house.

For safety reasons I decided to build a wall.  The wall I had in mind was of bottles!  Jack thought I was crazy (and you all know that I am!), but I persisted.  I could see it in my head… just as I do with most projects.

I dug a foundation and built it in the usual way.  Oh!  Did I not tell you this was a do-it-myself job with as little expense as possible?  They are the projects I like the best.

It was 1984…. Not the book, the Year 1984!

Now Jack liked a whisky and he always poured me a sherry when I was preparing a meal, wine helped wash down the dinner and for casual enjoyment I would chose a G&T.  It would need to be some party for all the bottles required for My Wall!

Thinking cap time…..

There were at least six pubs within a 100 yards in this Town of ours.  I would ask them about non returnable bottles.  I did.  They were glad to be rid of them so I began collecting on a weekly basis, then slowly started building up the layers of bottles mixing the coloured glass randomly as I went.  Three rows at a time were cemented into place and left to set before the next rows were added. I was able to work from each side of the garden until we met in the middle.

Now this was not your common or garden straight wall.  No!  I had to be different weaving it in a curved fashion to keep some plants in the top garden and leave some that I thought uninteresting to grow wild behind it.  This all took time.  I collected all the non returnable bottles from the six pubs for five months,  Well it was over seven months if you count breaks for holidays and weather interruptions.

Poor quality photo, but it will give you the idea.  The gap in the centre was yet to be filled.  I was not into cameras back then so digital picture quality was as yet unknown to me.

Miss Elly using her swing as a climbing frame (is that out of the box thinking?), this shot gives a clue to the curves in the wall.

I set the bottles on their sides with the ends facing the house.  I didn’t want to take away the natural light as a timber fence or brick wall might do.  But even I was in for some surprises.

A more recent photo with the shrubs well settled around the wall.  I laid a cement pathway through two sections of the wall to allow for garden cuttings and grass clippings to be disposed of and returned to nature. The curve in the wall is almost a full circle at this side of the path.  I used shorter bottles and the odd jam jar at this stage.

In the mornings the sunshine played on the front of the wall….. but in the evening the setting sun gave it a total different look:

Now after all that hard work, I think I need a drink!

]]> http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2010/09/03/second-life/feed/ http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2010/09/03/on-the-up/ http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2010/09/03/on-the-up/#comments Fri, 03 Sep 2010 05:00:18 +0000 Grannymar http://www.grannymar.com/blog/?p=8385

The Dublin Wheel at the Point Village on a clear day in August.

“So what are your plans?” the father asks the young man.

“I am a Torah scholar,” he replies.

“A Torah scholar. Hmm.” the father says. “Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in as she’s accustomed to?”

“I will study,” the young man replies, “and God will provide for us.”

“And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring such as she deserves?” asks the father.

“I will concentrate on my studies,” the young man replies, “and God will provide for us.”

“And children?” asks the father. “How will you support children?”

“Don’t worry, sir, God will provide,” replies the fiancée.

The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide.

Later, the mother asks, “How did it go, honey?”

The father answers, “He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I’m God.”

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Thank you Ramana for this weeks contribution.

Today I have another experiment …..

I only have the one photo for you.  I did try with both the phone and the camera but it was impossible to get closer detail.

It is a sample of crocheted beading wire with beads attached.  A slow, very slow process.  It takes time to work with the wire as unlike wool or thread, the wire has no ‘give’ in it.  It is a project for an ‘untidy’ worker as the stitches are seldom uniform.

I only became aware of this technique on my recent visit to The Point Village Market in Dublin.

Perhaps my choice of beads were not the best as most of them disappear in this tiny sample.  I did have rather grand ideas when starting out but it is so frustratingly slow.  Now that is not something you hear me say very often when it comes to craft work.  I am usually happy fiddling away for hours on end and almost need an alarm clock to remind me to eat!

I will try the technique again and I see many possibilities, but there are several unfinished projects to tackle and complete before I go there.  I tell you of my successes so it is only fair to tell you about my disasters too.