Culture
Ramana makes yoghurt every morning. Maybe we are in for a demonstration today. Do you think that is why he chose the topic of:
Culture
I wanted to follow a different route. I was spoilt for choice and it was difficult to make up my mind.
Culture Night Belfast at the Cathedral Quarter and beyond is usually a-buzz with gigs, choirs, dance, poetry, exhibitions, theatre, street performers, taster tours, workshops, and more.
Culture Vulture – an online shopping space where I came across this little beauty
Alas, it is out of stock. 
I learned this serene representation of the Buddha’s hand showing the fingers in the ‘mudra’ position, is known as the teaching gesture with the thumb and index finger forming the Wheel of Law.
Roshan Cultural Heritage Institute tells us
Culture is a definition highly misunderstood and misused, thus the need for an explanation:
Culture refers to the following Ways of Life, including but not limited to:
- Language: the oldest human institution and the most sophisticated medium of expression.
- Arts & Sciences: the most advanced and refined forms of human expression.
- Thought: the ways in which people perceive, interpret, and understand the world around them.
- Spirituality: the value system transmitted through generations for the inner well-being of human beings, expressed through language and actions.
- Social activity: the shared pursuits within a cultural community, demonstrated in a variety of festivities and life-celebrating events.
- Interaction: the social aspects of human contact, including the give-and-take of socialization, negotiation, protocol, and conventions.
Now before the stuff Ramana makes is ready for tasting I want to lead you in a different direction altogether, to what I would call:-
The Culture of Disrespect.
My attention was drawn to a ‘Huff Post’ article written by Yashar Ali about Gaslighting. It was not a term I was familiar with. Hush up in the back row, the only glimmerman that I know about, sits on my mantle piece over my fireside.
According to Mr Ali, Gaslighting is a term often used by mental health professionals to describe manipulative behaviour used to confuse people into thinking their reactions are so far off base that they’re crazy.
I would see these actions as controlling or abusive. I will let you follow the link and make up your own mind.
This Culture of Disrespect can come in another guise:-
The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you’ve had. ~ Anon
I’m prepared to sit on the porch of life…. but, for a conversation you need two people. When the other person keeps disappearing for a myriad of reasons…
What message do you think it gives to me?
If you have a cell phone in each hand, constantly pinging with calls & messages and you feel you must take or read them during our conversation, then you are not the friend I thought you were. Will the world end if you leave them unanswered for 10…20 or thirty minutes?
Have you an iPad, Notebook or laptop constantly taking your attention and interrupting what we were saying? Then you are not paying attention to the topic in hand. Will the world end if you lift your eye from the screen for 10…20 or thirty minutes?
Maybe I am kidding myself that there was a true friendship in the first place. Your actions are telling me that I am the bottom of your pile. Is it time to move on?
It will not be easy.
You see, I enjoyed the banter, the laughter and the deep soul baring conversations that we used to share, but alas, the winds of time have blown them all away. If you only want to talk when you need something or when the day has sapped your energy and you are tired, then that is not friendship.
I have no wish to be the floor mop of life, stuck in a corner only used to mop up the dregs of life. I am worth more than that.
Young people are very fond of the phrase ‘Quality Time’, Is that what you give your friends? Do you switch off from all distractions to share real quality time?
Think about it. Now is the time to change and do something about it!
Or one day you might find yourself sitting alone on the porch.
I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar,
but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.
Now off you go to check on the porches of our active members of the Loose Blogging Consortium:- Conrad, Delirious, Maria/Gaelikaa, Magpie 11, Maria SilverFox, OCD writer, Padmum, Paul, Ramana, Rohit, WillKnott, & Little old me.
Delirious said,
December 9, 2011 at 3:31 pm
The “tweeting”, “texting”, cell phone using, culture is one which I refuse to join. I hate using my cell phone, and really just don’t have that much to say to be constantly texting and tweeting.
Nick said,
December 9, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Thanks for the link to the gaslighting piece. I hadn’t heard the term either. Very interesting reflections on how men constantly devalue and ridicule women’s feelings and opinions so as to avoid taking them seriously and treating them as equals. I’ve seen that happen so often, even from men who pride themselves on being non-sexist, sensitive etc etc.
Grannymar said,
December 9, 2011 at 8:32 pm
Delirious - I tweet if I am stuck for technical help and need a quick answer, I only use twitter to and from my laptop.
My cell phone is a necessity since I live alone and most of the time I drive alone on country roads. One the front screen is an ICE Number - The person to contact In Case of Emergency.
Text messages are very quick and handy. The same message on a phone call might take 15 minutes by the time you get through the social nicety of how you are and the weather reports. I regularly use the off switch, particularly when in company.
Grannymar said,
December 9, 2011 at 8:50 pm
Nick - The term gaslighting was certainly a new one to me, the actions it describes are not. I know of several people who live with the ‘put downs’ on a daily basis, at home or at work and sometimes in both situations. I know of one man who is put down at every available opportunity by his wife. I once pulled her up about it in the presence of her mother, I reminded her that of the three of us in the room, she was the only one to have a living husband and a very helpful and caring one at that. Her mother, piped up, agreeing with me and told her daughter to cop on!
Rummuser said,
December 10, 2011 at 2:00 am
I actually thought of writing about yogurt making using a tested and proven culture as a starter, but a very apt quotation that I came across led me into a different path altogether.
I use a recycled culture to make the daily yogurt. That culture has been a successful one because without interruption, the same yogurt started more than two decades ago has been used to start every day’s fresh production. I do not know whether it will work if another culture is brought afresh to start a new batch. I do not intend to try, at least for the present as more than me, my father and my son both relish the yogurt every day.
And that is typical of all cultures. A different culture other than that we are used to can appear to be formidable, inscrutable or even menacing. We see that happening all the time.
Brighid said,
December 10, 2011 at 8:13 am
It seems very rude to me when someone starts a conversation with me but cann’t stay off their cell phone long enough to finish the conversation. Boy howdy, do my kids & grandkids know I frown on this! It has actually gotten funny (I don’t laugh about it in front of them) at times to see them struggling to not look or answer their phone when talking to granny.
Grannymar said,
December 10, 2011 at 4:28 pm
Ramana - If the recipe works, why change it? Just continue to enjoy.
Brighid - Oh good! I am not the only one to feel this way.
Padmini Natarajan said,
December 11, 2011 at 4:14 am
“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.”
― Gloria Naylor
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.”
― Bernard meltzer
Conrad said,
December 11, 2011 at 5:30 am
GM, I live with the weirdness of technology represented as both the tools of and the object of my business life. Boundaries are blurred, but the boundaries of courtesy take precedence.
It is an excellent point you make here. Properly used, technological tools enhance existence, but only to the extent that they enrich relationships rather than detract.
Grannymar said,
December 11, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Padmini - The four points in Gloria Naylor’s quote have been well tried and tested by me over the years. I am talking about the people who remind me that our friendship is important (there are many), yet they see nothing wrong in texting or talking on cellphones for the duration of our time together. Sometimes I wonder if I walked out of a room….
Conrad - Modern technology has made the world so much smaller for all of us. To think I can talk to and see my brother in Australia and chat like we were in the same room. I’ll live with IT.
blackwatertown said,
December 11, 2011 at 4:14 pm
the floormop of life - good image - and not something to be.
Grannymar said,
December 11, 2011 at 4:28 pm
BWT - Very definitely not!
Ocdwriter said,
December 12, 2011 at 7:31 am
I definitely see where you are coming from. Ever since I commenced practice as an attorney, I do not seem to have even 10% of the patience, understanding and finer emotions in general which perhaps I could claim some credit for before. It is almost like a part of me is dead. I constantly feel that my friends and my girlfriend deserve so much more better. Your post should hopefully be a wake up call and I can get my act together soon!
Grannymar said,
December 12, 2011 at 8:47 am
OCD - My reason for writing was to make people think about their actions.