Do you Listen?
My turn once more to toss in the topic for the LBC today.
Listen
Listening is very important for all of us. I feel a post coming on….
That was a comment I left as a result of reading a post entitled Social Work by Delirious
Somewhere on my travels through blogland or the twittersphere I came across a young person – lets call him Henry - complaining about travelling on public transport and when sitting beside an ‘OLD PERSON’, this fellow traveller insisted on carrying on a conversation.
Henry like so many young people these days, was only interested in reading on his Kindle, listening to music on his iPod or surfing the net on his notebook laptop. He saw the chatter as an intrusion of his time and space.
I have met many ‘Henrys’ and Henriettas’ on public transport over the years. At times the sound from a one sided mobile phone conversation shouted right beside my ear or the iPod so loud, that the noise caused annoyance for me. Just imagine what it sounds like for an older person with a hearing aid!
Whose space is more important?
Many an older person is reliant on public transport to get from place to place, they for the most part live alone and the bones are no longer flexible. There might be days or even weeks when they are unable to get out of the house. Old bones and slow frail movements do not mean the person has lost interest in people and in life. Their family might live half way round the world, or all their peers have fallen from the tree of life.
Henry or Henrietta might be the first Real person they have encountered in some time. Hunger to hear a human voice can feel like real physical pain. So please listen as they chat, or speak to them for the duration of the journey. What will you lose? It will make their day and you might actually learn something from their long years of experience of life.
Difficult? Not really. Imagine your grandparent or great grandparent in place of the old person. How would you like your friends or the Henry or Henriettas of this world to ignore them.
Here ends my Rant!
♥
♥
Now go have a listen to all our active members:
Anu, Ashok, Conrad, Delirious, gaelikaa, Magpie 11, padmum, Ramana, The Silver Fox Whispers, The Student Diaries and Will
Rummuser said,
July 29, 2011 at 2:10 pm
You have zeroed in on a very real social phenomenon which is galling for its insensitivity. Your Henry or Henrietta is not the only example of this modern phenomenon. I have observed families together, each talking on his/her own mobile phone or listening to and ipod or whatever, yet at a table having a meal together in a restaurant. I have seen couples walking together in our park, each engrossed in an ipod or a phone or both at the same time on the phone. On one latter occasion, I stopped them and asked them if they were talking to each other on the phone!
Face to face interactions seem to be passe.
Big John said,
July 29, 2011 at 3:41 pm
One problem I have found is that very often young people seem to be speaking in a language I do not understand “like” and I’m sure that they have a problem with old gits like me “In’it” when we try to explain things and “stuff”. … “yer no wot I meen ?” ..
Anu said,
July 29, 2011 at 4:27 pm
I just realised how I haven’t ‘listened’ to my mother in ages.
She is alone at home for most part of the day with us gone (off to work or school). As soon as we come in and settle on the couch, she starts talking about whats she watched on a news channel or what she read in the news paper. I do ’shush’ her up sometimes, but at times when I don’t I simply don’t listen. I hear her, but what she speaks never registers. I can’t give excuses here, I’m guilty of not listening to her.
I think I’ll make a conscious effort not to shut her out, thanks to your post =)
Delirious said,
July 29, 2011 at 5:27 pm
You have made a great point about the elder citizens among us needing contact with other people. But as I visit younger women in my church congregation, I find that many of them feel just as isolated at times. I have this “thing”, that I’m not sure what to call, that makes total strangers feel they can come up to me and tell me their life story. I can almost predict ahead of time which people will do this. It is usually those people who are searching for someone to talk to. I don’t know what vibes I put off, but I’m happy to listen and chat with them for a time. Everyone just needs to be heard in this world!
Grannymar said,
July 29, 2011 at 7:45 pm
Ramana - Modern social media though wonderful, can so easily turn us into ill mannered human beings.
Big John - Sure man, I no wot U meen!
Anu - Give your mother the time now, while you have her. You will never regret it.
Brighid said,
July 29, 2011 at 8:57 pm
This is troublesome to me as well. It is so rude and disrespectful, my grandkids have learned not to do it around me.
Had to laugh at the couple in the park…Guess I’m just the quiet type
Will Knott said,
July 29, 2011 at 11:47 pm
If you truly want someone to listen to you, talk to someone else about them.
Or have a scandalous one sided conversation on your phone and watch the earwigging of every person on the bus.
(Yes it happened to me, friend phoned me while on the train talking about her weekend when I had to ask “How on earth did someone remove your *article of clothing* in the pub without you noticing?” that was when I noticed the hushed silence in the carriage as spontaneously every other conversation onboard stopped and the place was truly listening.)
Grannymar said,
July 30, 2011 at 2:53 am
Delirious - The ‘thing’ is a gift and you are blessed to have the opportunity to make use of it.
Brighid - I totally agree on the manners issue.
Will - Now my mind has gone into overdrive….. What possible *article of clothing* could you mean?
nick said,
July 30, 2011 at 8:14 am
Article of clothing? What article of clothing?
I don’t find preoccupied/net-obsessed kids much of a problem myself, but then I don’t use public transport or mix with kids very often. I don’t have any great urge to chat to other people either, as I’m the quiet and reserved type. Usually when I’m on a bus I’m engrossed in a book.
Grannymar said,
July 30, 2011 at 11:40 am
Nick - It is the selfish use of technology that bothers me. Those who with no regard for those around them, shout at as mobile phone or play the iPod at such volume that is no longer a ‘personal’ form of communication or entertainment.
Padmini - I apologise, it was not a case of not listening, but in finding you in my spam bucket, I accidentally deleted instead of saving your comment.
Grannymar » About Listening said,
August 2, 2011 at 6:01 am
[...] my LBC Post on Friday Do you Listen, Will sent me a link to a TED Talk by sound expert Julian Treasure. In our louder and louder world, [...]
Baino said,
August 2, 2011 at 9:18 pm
I wish Id had the opportunity to listen to say, my grandparents for insance. Sadly I lived 12,000 miles away so the chance wasn’t there. One of my nephews is spending a lot of time with his 80 something grandparents to learn more about them and truly listen. He’s a remarkable young man really. Here, if you’re on a bus, just about everyone has their earphones in and there’s no conversation no matter what your age. Weird.
Grannymar said,
August 3, 2011 at 6:24 am
Baino - I worry that we will forget how to talk to, and interact with each other in real life, and only connect in cyberspace.