Thursday Special ~ Hell
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.
They saw her and began calling greetings to her, “Hello - How are you! We’ve been waiting for you! Good to see you.”
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, “This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?” “You have to spell a word,”
Saint Peter told her.
“Which word?” the woman asked.
“Love.”
The woman correctly spelled “Love” and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
“I’m surprised to see you,” the woman said. “How have you been?”
“Oh, I’ve been doing pretty well since you died,” her husband told her. “I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?”
“You have to spell a word,” the woman told him.
“Which word?” her husband asked.
“Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis”, she replied.
Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry . . . there will be Hell to pay!
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Where did I get this one? It came from a very old friend! 
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NB: The longest word currently listed in the Oxford dictionary is the supposed lung-disease pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (45 letters). Please do not ask me to say or spell it, as my granny used to say… I just slapped it down!
Mike Goad said,
September 9, 2010 at 7:33 am
Funny.
Here’s the pronunciation (if the link works)
http://www.merriam-webster.com/audio.php?file=pneum58m&word=pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis&text=
Grannymar said,
September 9, 2010 at 7:41 am
Mike - It worked fine. Thank you!
Rhyelysgranny said,
September 9, 2010 at 10:44 am
Now how on earth can anyone remember that word. Too much for my middle aged brain
Grannymar said,
September 9, 2010 at 11:08 am
RG - It would make a good password!
Mayo said,
September 9, 2010 at 12:19 pm
If my wife goes before me, I have started to memorize that word’s spelling–p n e u m……………
I wonder if she would take cash?
Grannymar said,
September 9, 2010 at 3:22 pm
Mayo - Are you trying to bribe your way in?
Nancy said,
September 9, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Sort of like the woman who has both PMS and a GPS.
Careful! She has a gun and she will find you!
Grannymar said,
September 9, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Nancy - Can you hear me laugh? Nice one!
steph said,
September 9, 2010 at 7:52 pm
Grannymar
Where does Nancy get them? She’s a hoot!
Talking of PMS, I’ve a question on a similar topic for you and Nancy…
Q. What’s the quickest way for a man to end up sleeping on the couch?
A. By helping his menopausal wife make up menopause jokes
If you couldn’t laugh about the menopause, you’d cry!
Darlene said,
September 9, 2010 at 8:01 pm
Hell hath no fury like that of a woman screwed ! (Before you correct me, I know the word is scorned)
Grannymar said,
September 9, 2010 at 8:36 pm
Steph - I am not going down the road of men-who-pause, they can pause and stare over the gate all they want!
Darlene - Splutter! There goes my coffee!
Gaelikaa said,
September 13, 2010 at 2:33 am
I’d have made mine spell the name of that Llanfair etc. in Wales..
Grannymar said,
September 13, 2010 at 9:10 am
Gaelikaa - You mean Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch? That would indeed be difficult.
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