Thursday Special ~ Naming a Dog
Make sure to name your dog correctly
Folks generally aren’t very creative in choosing names for their dogs. That’s why there are so many named Rover and Spot. But have you heard the plight of the fellow who thought he’d be cute and name his dog Sex? It goes like this:
‘One day Sex and I took a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A policeman came by and asked what I was doing in this alley at midnight. I told him I was looking for Sex. My case comes up next Tuesday.’
‘But that ain’t the worst part. One day I went to the town hall to get a dog license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for Sex. He said, ‘I’d like to have one, too.’ Then I said, ‘You don’t understand. She’s a dog.’ He said he didn’t care how she looked. When I told him I’d had Sex since I was 5, he said, ‘You must have been an early bloomer.’ ‘
‘When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me I’d have to wait until after the wedding. When I protested that Sex had played a big part in my life and that my whole life revolved around Sex, he said he didn’t want to hear about my personal life.’
‘After my wife and I were married, I took the dog with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the hotel, I told the clerk I wanted a room for my wife and wanted one for Sex. She said. ‘Every room in the hotel was for sex.’ I said, ‘You don’t understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.’ The clerk said, ‘Me, too.’ ‘
‘When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. When I told the Judge I had Sex before I was married, he grinned and said, ‘Me. too.’ ‘
‘Now that I’ve been thrown in jail, married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever imagined, I’m in counselling.. My psychiatrist asked me what my problem was. I said ‘Sex has died and left my life. It’s like losing a best friend and I’m so lonely,’ I told him. He said, ‘ Look, you and I both know that sex isn’t man’s best friend. Get yourself a dog.’
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With thanks to an anonymous friend of my anonymouse friend!
steph said,
May 13, 2010 at 8:17 am
I don’t suppose that dog owner was called “Mr Bean”?
Baino said,
May 13, 2010 at 9:21 am
Haha! Safer to stick with flower names.
nick said,
May 13, 2010 at 9:32 am
Sexcellent!
Grannymar said,
May 13, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Steph - The dog owner sounds very like the Mr bean character!
Baino - Bonnie suddenly seems like a good choice for a name!
Nick - My thoughts exactly when I first read it!
Mayo said,
May 13, 2010 at 12:32 pm
I wonder if the hospital will let me have Sex in the operating room today. My wife will be there also. Two is better than one! More comforting.
Grannymar said,
May 13, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Mayo - Sweet dreams on the table and for heavens sake don’t be thinking about sex!
Geri Atric said,
May 13, 2010 at 12:53 pm
A sure fire way to get yourself hounded into trouble!
Grannymar said,
May 13, 2010 at 12:56 pm
Geri - Ha ha!
Magpie11 said,
May 13, 2010 at 1:42 pm
Imagine having been to dog training classes:
Here Sex!
Stay Sex!
Sit Sex!
Fetch sex!
Heel Sex!
Leave him Sex!
Die sex!
Roll over Sex!
No Sex!
Good Sex! Have a biscuit!
Who’s a good boy Sex?
I’m not mentioning getting the dog to return!
Grannymar said,
May 13, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Magpie - Imagine the scenario of a mother in law coming to visit and having to call off the dog:- “No Sex! Down boy, down!”
Maria said,
May 13, 2010 at 3:30 pm
You have no idea how close this comes to truth. At one time, we had a litter of kittens. I named them all after mountain flowers. There was Eidelweiss, Lupine, Desert Rose, and Pussy Paws. Pussy Paws is an early spring flower that blooms in our nearby Sierra mountains.
Over time all the kittens found new homes, only Pussy Paws was left. I knew my mistake the day, she escaped from the house. Still in my old prurple robe and with large pink rollers in my hair, I was searching for her under my neighbors Lilac bush and frantically calling “Here Pussy Paws, Here Pussy Paws, when my neighbor came out his front door, coffee in hand, for a moment of early morning reflection. I was so embarrased that I tried to slink away, now captured cat in my arms, and swore to name all future animals, Jake or Mike.
Magpie11 said,
May 13, 2010 at 3:32 pm
Do you know the game ” AaH! Poor Pussy”?
Darlene said,
May 13, 2010 at 4:44 pm
I love the punch line ;” get yourself a dog.” A real hoot.
wisewebwoman said,
May 13, 2010 at 8:08 pm
it’s a dog eat dog world.
XO
WWW
Mayo said,
May 13, 2010 at 8:10 pm
Magpie11. The game “Poor Pussy” does that go along with “Poor Sex”?
Maybe we should stick with “Poor Cat”–” Poor Dog. “, But it is your “game”.
Magpie11 said,
May 13, 2010 at 9:44 pm
It’s a party game for kids……
All sit in a circle on the floor and one child is chosen to be in the middle. His/her job is to make someone laugh. The rest have to resist the temptation.
The one in the middle goes from person to person patting them and stroking them on the head(like you might a Pussy cat) saying ” Ah! poor Pussy!” If they want they can say other things like “Does oo want some fishy den?”
When some one can resist no longer and laughs they then have to change places.
In all innocence I once tried to teach a staff room full of women the game when we were discussing what to play at Christmas parties for the kids!
Only one of them remained completely po faced and explained why the rest had reacted the way they had. She was a member of the Salvation Army….
Grannymar said,
May 13, 2010 at 10:37 pm
Maria - What a picture you paint!
I wonder what your neighbour was thinking.
Magpie - I never heard of that one,
Darlene - Someone said that to me once!
WWW - It sure is.
Magpie - I wish I had been a fly on the wall back then!
Maria said,
May 14, 2010 at 1:05 am
The game that Magpie mentioned used to be played at birthday parties when I was a child. Boy did it bring back memories.
Kate said,
May 15, 2010 at 7:49 am
Oh dear - thank goodness I named my new boy Alfie …. although he does give me a funny look when I sing ‘Whats it all about, Alfie’ to him!!!!
Grannymar said,
May 15, 2010 at 9:27 am
Kate - I wonder if it was possible to ask a dog about a name, which one they would choose?