Grannymar

Last Saturday I asked for your advice about a letter that came my way in the Mail.  Today I spent one and a half hours with an Assistant Branch Manager of the Bank concerned as we tried to sort out the mess.  He listened well and was very helpful and we set the wheels of the complaints procedure in motion.  I hope to hear from them very soon.  Thank you everyone who gave me advice.

Should anything like this ever happen to any of you, do not use the ‘return to sender’ option or a note will be attached to said account and it will remain in Limbo until claimed - perhaps by the wrong person.  Take it to the bank and let them deal with it.  All banks now have a Fraud department and they liaise with the Police.

This event brought another banking tale back to me.  A friend of mine had her bag stolen, it was in the early nineties and with it went her credit card.  Naturally she cancelled the card and a new one was issued and the account amended.  Life returned to normal for her and time passed.  Two years passed, and then her credit card statement showed up a purchase she had not made.  When she contacted the bank she discovered that the purchase was from her old card and the transaction debited on her account.  It all took time to sort out.

So keep a close eye on your statements and on what you have in your wallet or purse.  Don’t come looking for my purse because the £2 3s 4d will not take you far!

Would it cover a Fish supper!

Two for the price of one today.

Parsley Applewood Cheese Balls

100g Smoked Applewood cheese, grated
2 x 5ml spoons any relish
4-5 x 15ml spoons freshly chopped parsley

Mix the grated cheese and relish to make a thick paste.  Spread the chopped parsley on a flat plate.  Form the cheese mixture into 10-12 small balls.  Roll in the chopped parsley, making sure that they are well coated.  Place on a serving dish and spear with cocktail sticks.

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Prawn Balls

100g peeled prawns
50g cream cheese
1 x 5ml spoon lemon juice
Salt & freshly ground black pepper
50g walnuts, very finely chopped

Chop the prawns finely, then mix in the cream cheese and lemon juice.  Season to taste.  Place the chopped nuts on a flat plate.  Shape the prawn mixture into 16 small balls, then roll in the chopped nuts, making sure that they are well coated.  Place on the serving dish and spear with cocktail sticks.

Yesterdays post ended up going down the toilet.

What a waste!

My mention of shredding paper let the chat to compost.  There were giggles and squeals at the suggested use a particular moisture to nourish the pile.  So I went digging…

The best form of liquid addition for compost is what some composters primly call Household Compost Activator. Other people call it urine. Don’t be coy about it — this is what should happen to urine rather than wasting it by flushing it down the toilet. Develop a self-righteous attitude about not wasting it — but don’t shout about it too loud, modern city people like neighbours and so on can be funny about these things, what they don’t know won’t hurt them.

First, urine is sterile. Second, it contains the drainage of every cell in the body — it’s crammed with minerals and vitamins. Third, it contains a lot of nitrogen — that’s one reason that it’s silly to buy nitrogen (there are others).

It shouldn’t prove too difficult to arrange to have a few litres of Household Compost Activator set by when it’s time to make the compost. You can use it neat, or mix it 50-50 with water, and add a capful of seaweed emulsion while you’re at it. Use a sprinkling can.

Urine is sterile when it comes out of your body. Don’t use it if you have a urinary tract infection.

This is an interesting link for snippets of information.

Happy composting and gardening!

Well…….

I needed something to keep me busy when the broadband died.

That bag is tightly packed and if this had arrived while I was shredding, it might have ended up in there too!

The remote control is sitting on the address window on purpose.  The printed address on the back is for a genuine bank.

The letter/bank statement/whatever is addressed to:

• Mr 3 initials Surname
• C/O My Full Name
• My full address and
• Postcode

George, hold Elly down.

I DID NOT pick up a Toyboy on my way back home from Dublin.  The phone line and broadband were really not working, I would never think up an excuse like that!  Would I?

Do you know of anyone with a Barclays Bank account in the UK?

What would you do with the envelope?

Week 40 of our Loose Blogging consortium of Anu, Ashok, Conrad, Gaelikaa, Ginger, Judy, Magpie 11, Maria, Ramana and I, well those of us not on holiday or distracted by the calls of work, study or family concerns, turn our thoughts to the topic for the week, chosen today by Ginger

Art

This week I am struggling, really struggling!  With words.  The five days sans broadband have not helped to keep my juices going and I had reached the stage on Thursday that I might give the whole thing up and move on to pastures new.  Well….. I have blogged for over three years… maybe it was time…..

Then the life came back to Tobias and I saw that people seemed to miss my mutterings and now feel guilty for my previous thoughts.  But, since they were only my thoughts, nobody out there really knows about them.  (Word count 95 already and I have not started on the topic for today.  Maybe I could just waffle on and it would never be noticed!)

I could of course talk about visiting the Louvre in Paris and give my thoughts on seeing The Mona Lisa or about the guy I passed on the stairs with no arms, but you are all familiar with them.  I might mention the Caravaggio that hung for many years in a Jesuit House in Dublin.  The painting is on permanent loan to the National Gallery of Ireland, Dublin.

I might mention The Unmade Bed by Tracey Emin, but that for me is not art, it reminds me of all the unmade beds I changed, remade or vacuumed around in my younger days.  My Brothers unmade beds beat that one by a long shot, with them I had the added pleasure of dirty socks and underwear. Yuck!

For some Comic Seaside Postcards are Art, but for me I see humour.

Every Wednesday my post on Craft has the rather boastful title of Art with My Needle.  That series came about from my very first post for the LBC on 10th July 2009 - Creativity, chosen by Conrad.

But I love to watch a great artist at work, to see the deep concentration involved in the execution of a masterpiece… the detailed selection of the various colours and how each stroke is masterfully worked.

I have a couple of very precious pieces in my possession and to me they are worth more than all the gold or diamonds in the world.  They were commissioned pieces just for me!

This first one involves only two colours but check the detail, I particularly like the hands and the teeth!

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Artist: Young Enda - 1983

In january last year, I wrote about selling something from my personal Art Collection, thankfully I didn’t resort to that and can share once again this work of immense talent:

Our Family by Elly 1983

One for Gaelikaa: Dublin Bay from the Bull Wall.

Fresh fall of snow on the hills with icy sleet showers for the rest of us on 1st April 2010.

Click to enlarge.

I returned home to a very quiet house on Friday.  When I spoke there was no reply.  I soon realised I was talking to the walls, so different to my time down south.  Over the two weeks I lunched, dined and had coffee or chatted and walked with friends and family.  A quick tally tells me they numbered 17 and that is besides all the folk I met in Galway at IBA2010.

Normally when I arrive home I let a couple of people know I am back safe and well.  Picking up the landline phone was of no help – the line was dead.  I did all the usual checks, disconnecting all the bits and pieces and then reconnecting the phone directly to the incoming connection as required.  No go, the phone line was still dead.

So it was text message, online chat or email for me instead.  Firing up the laptop, I went on line and chatted to Elly.  Next I tried the BT online fault facility and that was of no help to me either….

By the third click I was asked if the line was in use!!!!!  If I was able to use the phone line I would not be lurking about BT’s internet site.  The small print informed me that ‘In use’ included using my broadband connection.  So in order to report the fault via the internet I needed to shut down my internet connection and report from another internet line.

HOW MANY PRIVATE HOUSEHOLDERS HAVE TWO PHONE/BROADBAND LINES?

I gave Elly the link and she reported my landline fault from Dublin.  Knowing it was a holiday weekend I consoled myself that the mobile phone was working as was the broadband.  Then the latter went on strike at 10pm Saturday.  Now I had no landline phone or broadband connection.  Feeling tired I decided to close up and have an early night.

Sunday morning I was a little absent minded and tried to open my browser, only to find this window:

I called the phone number printed (0845 600 7030), from my mobile phone.  I am informed the number is no longer in use and given another one.  Why print a number that is not in use on a website?  It only adds to the frustration of the customer and wastes even more time.

0800 111 4567 – free to call from a landline but chargable from a mobile.  After a few options I am informed that the charges vary according to the mobile phone provider and if I wish for a cheaper rate to call 0330 123 4567.  I do, and after several options I choose the one I need.

I am immediately through to a very pleasant young lady in Mumbai.  She goes over all the things that I have already tried.  Then she wants to make some test so I ask her to call me back on my mobile phone when the test is complete.  She does. It is to announce that the fault was outside my house….. I already knew that much myself, but she quickly moved me on to the next level to a rather fast speaking fellow countryman of hers.  He repeats that the problem is outside my premises and that since I am on the priority list it will be seen to ASAP.  The line goes dead!  I am called back at the same time as an incoming text message.  I am told on the phone that the repair should be complete by Monday evening.

Text message update from BT:

We aim to fix your fault by 07/04/2010 17:00:00 (that is Wednesday and not Monday)
You can keep track of how we’re getting on at bt.com/fault

Is this a joke?  The bit about tracking the fault I mean….. how could I do that with no broadband connection?  The Wednesday part I can understand since in this bible thumping born again christian corner of Ireland Easter holidays are not like everywhere else - Good Friday through Easter Monday, oh no!  Here the holidays are Easter Monday and Tuesday!

So I sat down to take stock.  I had no working landline and no broadband.  It could have been worse, much worse.  On Wednesday I learned that some of the people in the town were without electricity since the storms on Tuesday 30th of March.  Thankfully I had power and with it – hot water, heating and was able to use my electric cooker, I was able to charge my mobile phone.  In truth it was all I needed…… well…… except I had to come to terms with my addiction!

ADDICTION!  Who mentioned addiction?  It was only a little need, you know how it is:- you click on the browser everyday and it brings in the outside world.  Even when you know it is not working you click on the off chance it will work……  You do it again…… and…… again!

On Wednesday morning I see a van cruise slowly and come to a stop outside.  The driver glances up the nearest pole and moves back down the hill.  He parks up and removes the manhole cover to the BT box of tricks.

The things Toyboys do for me!

Within half an hour my landline springs into action.  It is the engineer calling to say the problem is fixed and I am back in action.  Great!  I almost shout.  It is 1300hrs

I click on the browser again and it is still local access only, in other words no broadband.  I call George to let the Love birds know I have the phone at least.  He asks about the broadband and suggests that if it is not back by 1500hrs to call BT once again.

1500hrs I call BT.  This time I talk to Caz, she tries to troubleshoot the problem with me.  We are going round in circles, she won’t give up and talks to her supervisor.  She needs to do a test so I ask her to call me back when it is completed.  She does within five minutes.  We try something else, everything we try brings us back to square one.  She talks to the Supervisor yet again.  We try something else and we come back to square one.  She remarks on my patience - I am going nowhere - I want the broadband back and I am gaining blog fodder.

Eventually at 16.50hrs she decided that the problem had her beaten and that an engineer would need to call to the house to check it out further and he was booked for Thursday morning between 0800hrs and 1300hrs.  He called at 0815hrs to say he was on the way.  He arrived within 15 minutes.  One test and five minutes later he announced that he needed to return to the exchange as he thought the problem was there!

Within half an hour he phoned to say the problem was a faulty card and that they needed to find a replacement and that it would be much later in the afternoon before they would have it.  1315hrs and I am back in action.  Then I have another call from Mumbai to say the problem is solved AND that all the houses around me were affected by the faulty card!!!  Was I the only person to report the fault?  The young man told me the fault report would stay live for five days and he checked I had the correct number (0888 111 4567) if there are any more problems.

So I am back in action, but it will take me some time to catch up with all your blogs.

LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION

1       Trevor Adams, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2       hard at work in his cubicle. Trevor works independently, without
3       wasting company time talking to colleagues. Trevor never
4       thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
5       finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6       measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7       breaks. Trevor is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8       vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9       knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Trevor can be
10      classed as a high-calibre employee, the type that cannot be
11      dispensed with. Consequently, I truly recommend that Trevor be
12      promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13      executed as soon as possible.

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Addendum
The idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote this report.
Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.

Thank you Paddy for this weeks entertainment

Grannymar has no internet connection at present. It is unknown as to when it will be reinstated (but it is being worked on). She will be back posting as soon as possible.

Elly

I met a very tall toyboy yesterday on my journey home.

The wind was so strong that his trouser legs flapped about like wind pockets.  I was expecting him to take off for outer space at any moment.

He made and presented me with a gift.

The carpark at the Outlet centre was pretty full so I expected the place to be busy.  I felt the atmosphere was more alive than last time I was there.  There seemed to be fewer empty units this time.  For those with money the bargains were plentiful.  Most of the shops had 3 for 2 offers.  I looked at a suit on the ‘Sample size’ rack.  The jacket fit well £22 but the trousers @ £10 were actually cut-offs, the stopped mid calf so not suitable for these old cold legs.

No, I didn’t!  That particular pink was not my colour.