Freedom
Our Loose Blogging consortium of Anu, Ashok, Conrad, Gaelikaa, Ginger, Judy, Magpie 11, Maria, Ramana and I, well those of us not on holiday or distracted by the calls of work, study or family concerns, turn our thoughts to the topic for the week, chosen today by Anu.
Freedom vs. Independence
I have Freedom
I have Independence
So the ‘versus’ does not come into the equation for me.
I live alone and make my own rules. I get up when I want to and go to bed when I feel like it. There is no waiting for a key to be turned in the door signalling the return of an overdue offspring. I drive and have a car so I am not dependent on buses or taxis. I cook the foods I like at the times to suit me. If I am hungry early then I eat early, if not my meal can be quite late.
My bungalow is detached, so I am not forced to listen to music I do not choose. No herd of elephants are prancing around in a flat upstairs. If I want to make noise, I make noise. I am at liberty to open or not to open my front door. The phone can be left ringing if I choose not to answer it.
The phone can be left ringing……
The phone can be left ringing because I am unable to reach it. The house can be quiet because there is nobody to talk to. Meals are easy because they are meals for one.
The dust can lie and the floor remain unwashed – because there is nobody to notice.
Nobody to give a welcome home hug.
Nobody to share the latest piece of news I heard about today.
Nobody to shout at when I feel frustrated.
No shoulder to cry on when I am sad.
Nobody to share laughter until the tears run down our faces.
No arms to hug me and tell me I am special.
Nobody to begin and end the day with.
Nobody has everything they want. The secret is in wanting what you have!
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
A brief candle; both ends burning
An endless mile; a bus wheel turning
A friend to share the lonesome times
A handshake and a sip of wine
So say it loud and let it ring
We are all a part of everything
The future, present and the past
Fly on proud bird
You’re free at last.
~ Charlie Daniels,
written en route to the funeral for his friend, Ronnie Van Zant of the band, Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Rummuser said,
April 30, 2010 at 3:13 pm
Wanting what you have sums it up beautifully. What you have is solitude. Most people that I know will give their arms and legs to be able to live like that, as would I.
Nancy said,
April 30, 2010 at 3:47 pm
WELL SAID,GRANNYMAR….BE PROUD OF YOURSELF FOR HAVING SUCH A WONDERFUL OUTLOOK ON LIFE….
gaelikaa said,
April 30, 2010 at 4:18 pm
Lynyrd Skynyrd…..I remember that track ‘Freebird’, it went on forever.
You have a very good life. You could be living with the person you love most in the world and still be very lonely for reasons beyond your control. We have to learn to enjoy our life no matter where we are. No one has it all.
Freedom comes from outside and independence comes from inside.
That’s what I think.
Tech Unsavvy said,
April 30, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Perfect summation of the joy that independence and freedom can bring, and the price we pay for it. Interesting to think how this might have read if written by a young, married mum. There is joy in everything, in solitude and connection. But I do prefer connecting by choice and intention, don’t you?
My youngest son used to come home from school every day singing a tune as he walked in the door. I wondered how I’d ever live without that. That punctuation mark in my day felt so important then, but life is always changing, nothing stays the same. And now, I can sing as loud as I want–with no eyeball rolling!
steph said,
April 30, 2010 at 4:48 pm
Grannymar,
You have freedom.
You have independence.
And you have the wonderful friends that live in your laptop!
“The phone can be left ringing……” ???
I’m tellin’
Grannymar said,
April 30, 2010 at 5:33 pm
Ramana - I didn’t choose the life I lead, but I make the best of it!
Nancy - It is a learning curve and I am still learning.
Gaelikaa - I do indeed. I have a roof over my head, food for my table and plenty of heat, light and water. Everything else is a bonus!
Grannymar said,
April 30, 2010 at 5:39 pm
Tech U - I look forward to hearing what Anu and Ashok (both in their twenties) might have to say on the subject. It may be Sunday before they have the opportunity to post.
Steph - I am blessed with good friends who come into my home through the laptop. Now, not answering the phone is our little secret.
Don’t you go telling anyone! 
nick said,
April 30, 2010 at 5:42 pm
I also appreciate the life I have and I’m grateful for all the interesting opportunities and people who have come my way. If I’d been born in different circumstances in a different country, my life could have been much more of a struggle.
Conrad said,
April 30, 2010 at 6:10 pm
Ah, nicely said. But there is an undeniable warmth of friendship flowing across the ocean that we are sharing. My problem, if problem it be, is that I am TOO occupied with everyone’s lives and issues and I choose to accept that as the other end of happiness.
But, I gotta tell ya - in my life you are special, kid!
Maria said,
April 30, 2010 at 6:24 pm
“The secret is in wanting what you have.” Grannymar, you have proven once again your ability to sum up the subject in one wise sentence.
I had four years of living alone after John passed away. They were four years that I valued greatly because I became much more independet, much more aware of finances, and house repair, and car maintenance. and a hundred things that I had relied on him to do for me. Now that I have remarried, I have not gven up that independence (except for doing the taxes). I need to know that if I am alone again, I will be able to handle the personal independence.
Darlene said,
April 30, 2010 at 7:05 pm
Like you, Grannymar, I live alone and value the independence I have. I do not share the poets lamentation about ‘nobody’. I doubt that I could happily live with another person after so many years of answering to no one except myself. Living alone can be what you make of it. You can spend useless energy missing the happy times when you had family around or you can move on and enjoy the freedom you now have. I choose to enjoy my freedom.
Grannymar said,
April 30, 2010 at 7:56 pm
Nick - I agree with you about how circumstances and place can totally change the picture of our lives.
Conrad - I have lived through that busy place in life, now I deal with the lack of a need to be needed!
I appreciate the sentiment in your kind words! 
Maria - I marked the 12th anniversary last weekend. Jack did his best to prepare me for the days ahead by showing me how to deal with everything years ago. I find that I have become selfish with my time and my surroundings.
Darlene - I revisit the happy times of long ago, but am happy to know that Elly has developed into a very capable and caring young woman, now living her own life. It would be a poor sign if she still needed to be hanging out of my apron strings.
Baino said,
April 30, 2010 at 10:04 pm
Hmm wise post that one. I’ve yet to have mine fully fledge the nest but I am often left to my own devices. Like you Grannymar, I need little, don’t want much and value what I have. I’m often alone, but rarely lonely and that’s a gift.
ernestine said,
May 1, 2010 at 1:23 am
I live your kind of life - love it. The freedom has been a long time coming. Love your post.
Grannymar said,
May 1, 2010 at 8:21 am
Baino - With the young folk coming and going is a gentle easing to the time when you will be on your own.
Ernestine - I have experienced great highs and lows in my life so far, so now I am content to live in calm simplicity.