Men & Women
Time once more for our Loose Blogging consortium of Anu, Ashok, Conrad, Gaelikaa, Ginger, Judy, Magpie 11, Maria, Ramana and I, to turn our thoughts to the topic for the week, chosen today by Ashok.
The Opposite Sex
The world is full of them. The opposite sex. My life was full of them. The opposite sex. The house I grew up in seemed full of them. The opposite sex. Where would we be without the opposite sex? Nowadays some women seem to think they can live without men altogether. They would tell you they (men) are redundant.
I disagree!
Ok, so here in Ireland, the days when we women were treated as servants are fast disappearing and it is not a day too soon. It is my opinion that women are treated as subservient in countries where religion holds sway. Since most religions are or were the invention of or propagated by men, is it any wonder.
Now stop right there!
I am not and never have been a feminist. I believe we are all of equal value and should be shown the same level of respect. We each have our own talents and they all combine and contribute to the coat of many colours that is life.
Down the years I have known women who suddenly found the door to the vast abyss of widowhood had closed behind them. They were lost without their soul-mate, stranded because they never learned to drive - ‘Ah sure I don’t need to drive. Isn’t he always there with the car to take me where I want to go!” NOT any more. I knew one lady who didn’t know what bills were, or indeed how to write a cheque!!! Her husband took care of all that (it was the days before ATMs). NOT any more.
Thankfully long before I found myself on the edge of that great black hole, Jack made sure I was able to cope with most situations. “Come here ’till I show you how to do this!” was a phrase used with great regularity. “You will not always have me to help you!” and how right he was. He covered items such as his simple method of book-keeping, DIY, all aspects of decorating, how to change the oil in a car, or the tyre with a puncture. I never change a tyre these days, I find it impossible. I no longer have the strength. Even some men would not be able to do it either, because the nuts on wheels nowadays are tightened with pressure machines.
In my first place of employment it was a totally female environment. I cannot say I hated it, but I did not really enjoy it. Back biting and bitchiness often raised their ugly heads, I kept my head down and worked all the harder to help the day pass a little faster. I was told more than once to slow down. Why? Because I was upsetting the average for the team I was with! I stuck that job for three years because back in the middle sixties changing jobs after a short time was taken to mean you were flighty and not good employment material.
From then on in three different companies I was fortunate to work with a large team of men. Very often I was the only female in the department. I treated all of them like I would my own brothers and they in turn looked after me. I learned their back stories and was privileged to share in the highs and lows of their lives. The new romances, marriages and when a baby was on the way. I covered for them when they needed to attend hospital appointments, school meetings or a family funeral and they in turn pulled out all the stops when I was under pressure with a customer. Those days were good. We worked hard and on a Friday we finished early and all headed for the pub to wind down with a couple of drinks.
I am not totally anti women! There are many that I have great respect for and try to emulate.
This is rather special week. I rejoiced in celebrating on Monday 8th - International Women’s Day for 2010 - On another day I tip-toed over the boundary of another year, and look forward to Mother’s Day in our part of the world this coming Sunday.
So to Mother’s everywhere, a state we would not have reached without our men, I wish you
Rummuser said,
March 12, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Grannymar, you will recollect that Urmeela was like the women that you write about and my only one prayer was that I outlive her. Bless her, she obliged me. She was not helpless, she just was way above all the mundane matters and knew that either her husband or her son or so many other males in her life would do things for her and they did. Not because she was helpless but because she fully deserved that kind of a treatment from everyone who came into contact with her. For forty years, she was my opposite sex if that is the word, though I would prefer to call the relationship like the one that I have posted about.
gaelikaa said,
March 12, 2010 at 4:59 pm
My mother was widowed in her early thirties and had to learn to stand on her own feet and look after her four daughters and the house all by herself. Although she does not drive until now, she made a pretty good job of it. I think that her generation grew up in that time where the ‘important’ work was the responsibility of the husband. Of course it was all wrong, but people didn’t really know any better back then. Thank God things have changed, not before time, but still….
Nick said,
March 12, 2010 at 5:29 pm
My mother was widowed 22 years ago and has managed on her own very well since. People soon learn to deal with things that were previously done for them, once the need arises. They realise that what seemed very mysterious or difficult is usually nothing of the sort.
I have to say Jenny and I are definitely feminists, if that means recognising that women are still very much second-class citiziens and that much more needs to be done before they are truly on equal terms with men.
steph said,
March 12, 2010 at 6:55 pm
Grannymar
I have very similar feelings to you about The Opposite Sex.
As a young thing, I always felt most comfortable in male company but that may well be due to the fact that I too grew up in a household dominated by males.
Now that I’m beyond my prime
I find myself reverting to female company to enjoy the real nitty gritty of life!
wisewebwoman said,
March 12, 2010 at 9:00 pm
I believe the word Feminists, GM, has been given a very bad rap -i.e. many see them as bra-burning, man-hating militants when that is far from the truth. A feminist (and I include many of my dear male friends who are openly and fearlessly self-declared feminists) is “someone, male or female, who believes in social, political and economic equality between the sexes. Basically, feminists believe that women and men should be treated the same and given the same rights.”
Sadly we are far from that day still when so many women of the world are enslaved in a patriarchal system or have to struggle for even the basic needs of their children.
I had to fight on incredible levels for promotions and respect in my careers over the years, not least of which was my wake-up call in my first job in Ireland when I was paid 1/2 the rate of my all male co-workers doing the exact same jobs.
So yes, I am feminist and proud of it and shout injustice when I can for the sake of all the young women who won’t have to fight these battles in the future which are still far too frequent still, I’m afraid.
XO
WWW
Ginger said,
March 12, 2010 at 9:19 pm
I prefer the company of men to women for the most part, but then I am more of a tom-boy than a girlie girl. I’d rather climb trees than get my nails done.
I do want to echo what the previous commenter said about feminism. i think the word has evolved. I consider anyone who hopes that women will have equal rights to men a feminist.
Grannymar said,
March 12, 2010 at 11:08 pm
Ramana - Urmeela was a very fortunate woman to have so many people ready to care for all her needs. In my young days the mundane matters were considered the preserve and responsibility of women in the household. Perhaps that was a good thing since I have had no choice but to deal with everything in the past twelve years of living alone.
Gaelikaa - Your mother had a tough road to travel and I admire her for coping with it.
Nick - Yes they learn to cope, but add that to the void that losing a soul mate brings - but until one is in that position they have no inkling of what it is like.
Steph - Listen Miss Brody… you are only now in your prime!
WWW - I believe we are all of equal value and should be shown the same level of respect without labels. Unfortunately any of the so called ‘Feminists’ that I have met, give the movement a bad name.
Ginger - I was happy playing as a tomboy in my young days.
Darlene said,
March 13, 2010 at 12:06 am
When women earn the same pay as men for doing the same job I will stop being a feminist. Respect is fine but it doesn’t pay the bills.
Maynard said,
March 13, 2010 at 2:33 am
What’s the opposite of sex? I’m trying to find out1
Rummuser said,
March 13, 2010 at 5:56 am
Maynard, try abstinence!
Grannymar said,
March 13, 2010 at 7:09 am
Darlene - Respect is still top of my list. When we have total respect, then and only then will we treat our opposite numbers properly.
Maynard - Listen to Ramana!
Magpie11 said,
March 13, 2010 at 8:38 pm
I enjoyed your post GM….. I prefer the company of women on the whole.
I was brought up to respect my elders first and then women. Respect for women in those days was not what many women seem to want these days…well, the politically motivated women.
I would prefer to say that men and women are equal but different. Given that, there is probably more difference between women as a group and between men as a group than between the sexes (or genders as we had to say in my last job)
In teaching in the England there is pay equality… but still more men in positions of seniority than women, I believe.
What do folks think about the women who think that equality with men means behaving as stereotypical men behave? Not that they didn’t always use to…they were not so open about it.
I now retire.
Grannymar said,
March 14, 2010 at 8:25 am
Magpie,
I remember that respect for elders, men and women. Standing to give then a seat on a crowded bus. Holding a chair until they sat down, or stood up when the meal was over. Held a coat for them to slip into before going out into the elements…..
Ashok said,
March 14, 2010 at 1:25 pm
Grannymar, undoubtedly my favourite take on the topic. You raised a very valid point about women needing to take more initiative in terms of becoming independent. I certainly hope more women take a cue from that and achieve progress in that direction
Grannymar said,
March 14, 2010 at 7:49 pm
Ashok - The young women of today are not prepared to depend on their husbands as much as women did in the past.
When I think that my paternal grandmother was widowed for 33 years, my maternal grandmother for 26 years, my mother for 17 years and now I have been alone for twelve years. We never think or prepare for that aspect of life. Women live longer!