Thursday Special ~ Tips For Seniors
Love Making Tips For Seniors
1. Wear your glasses. To make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2.. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember.
6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..
8. Make all the noise you want… The neighbours are deaf too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!
10. Don’t even think about trying it twice.
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Thank you Cardi for this one
Rhyleysgranny said,
March 11, 2010 at 7:38 am
I need a row of laughing emoticons for this one. Ha ha ha ha
gaelikaa said,
March 11, 2010 at 7:39 am
Grannymar! I hope you had a very happy birthday yesterday. Better late than never.
Regarding the above, my question is, is this what I have to look forward to?
Well, it’s nice to know it’s not all over after you’re sixty….
Nick said,
March 11, 2010 at 9:30 am
A case of deja vu here, have seen this one recently but can’t remember where! Of course all these problems are history now I’ve cottoned on to the extra strength Viagra. Unless I forget where I put the Viagra….
Congratulations on being shortlisted for the Irish Blog Awards, btw. Let the nail-biting begin!
Grannymar said,
March 11, 2010 at 10:20 am
Rhyleysgranny - Always good to begin the day with a laugh!
Gaelikaa - It is never over until you want it to be!
Nick - Try the airing cupboard!
Congratulations to you too on being short listed. Let the fun begin!
Maynard said,
March 11, 2010 at 11:54 am
If all else fails– maybe I could help them find their way to- Intercourse, Pennsylvania, where the rubber meets the road.
At that age forget about the rubber.
Magpie11 said,
March 11, 2010 at 12:29 pm
Intercourse Pennsylvania was established in 1754 and this particular use of the word is first recorded in 1798…. been doing my research.
There was a set of statistics in a newspaper this week. Something about numbers of men and women engaging in intimate activity after 70…17% of women but 40% of men IIRC.
Maynard said,
March 11, 2010 at 12:38 pm
Intercourse, Pa is in the Amish area of Lancaster County of Pa.– other towns very close by are Blue Ball, Pa.—and Paradise, Pa.
Go figure!
Quiet said,
March 11, 2010 at 12:41 pm
Look what you started Grannymar– a town sex theme.
Maynard said,
March 11, 2010 at 1:22 pm
How would you like to have to say that you come from”Intercourse.”
Well stupid (referring to myself), don’t we all.
David, I have no statistics for this.
bikehikebabe said,
March 11, 2010 at 3:02 pm
I’m confused. Is your birthday March 10th or 11th? Mine is the 13th.
Gaelikaa says Happy B-day YESTERDAY. That must be because India is 12 hours ahead (of the U.S. & Ireland is 8 hours ahead of the U.S.)
Sooo—I’m confused. Is your birthday March 10th or 11th?
Grannymar said,
March 11, 2010 at 4:10 pm
Maynard - Is that where you live?
Magpie - You sure have been at the research!
Quiet - Be quiet! It is all that Maynard’s fault!
BHB - No need for confusion, the 10th was the day… all over for another year now.
Darlene said,
March 11, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Sorry I missed the big occasion. Happy, happy belated birthday, Grannynmar!!!! I hope you have many, many more and this year brings joy, good health, and happiness.
Best of luck on the awards.
jenniffer said,
March 11, 2010 at 5:11 pm
totally laughing out loud at my desk… having debates on whether i should send this to my mom… eww!
see you had a bday–hope it was great!!
Grannymar said,
March 11, 2010 at 7:53 pm
Darlene - Thank you for all the good wishes.
Jennifer - Go on send it! Birthday was good.
kenju said,
March 11, 2010 at 9:59 pm
Luckily, I don’t have false teeth, so no polygrip needed…..lol
Baino said,
March 11, 2010 at 10:21 pm
Hey your birthday is the same day as my father in law’s and I forgot his too! I am shameful. Hope it was a good one.
wisewebwoman said,
March 12, 2010 at 3:28 am
GM:
Now I know you are losing it - I had this post a week or so ago, it does bear repeating tho…..;^)
http://wisewebwoman.blogspot.com/search?q=senior
XO
WWW
Grannymar said,
March 12, 2010 at 7:49 am
Kenju - Keep smiling!
Baino - It was indeed.
WWW - These stories come to me from all directions and sometimes I set them up weeks in advance. In February I filled my Thursdays right through to April! I wish I found it that easy for the Wednesday Crafts.
Rummuser said,
March 12, 2010 at 3:30 pm
Seniors? What is that?
Grannymar said,
March 12, 2010 at 3:33 pm
Ramana - I think we might sneek in under thast name!