Thursday Special ~ Self Defense
Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady:
I am 94 years old.
Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?
Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady:
No, I didn’t stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so ’spicy’ that I just laid down and told him
‘Take me, young man. Take me now!’
Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?
Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, ‘April Fool!’ And that’s when I shot him, the little ba&tard
steph said,
January 21, 2010 at 11:16 am
Chortle! Chortle!
Please tell that little ol’ lady, it’s very rude to stick your tongue out!
Rummuser said,
January 21, 2010 at 12:57 pm
Steph, thank God the old lady is not sticking her shot gun out!
Kate said,
January 21, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Fantastic!!! She got off with a warning then!!!
Nick said,
January 21, 2010 at 1:23 pm
You shouldn’t mess with 94 year old ladies, they can be as tough as old boots and not standing any nonsense. And they might well have a handgun in their drawers….
Grannymar said,
January 21, 2010 at 2:42 pm
Steph - I tried… gently…. I didn’t fancy getting shot!
Ramana - Keep down! She might be.
Kate - It is not what you do but the way you do it.
Nick - I must remember where to keep my shotgun when I reach 94!
Darlene said,
January 21, 2010 at 3:53 pm
Very funny. Don’t mess with old folks.
Grannymar said,
January 21, 2010 at 4:23 pm
Darlene - The frailty is a cover. Right!
Magpie11 said,
January 21, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Stupid young man….after midday he’s the fool! As is proven by the story. Young people today…Huh!
Maynard said,
January 21, 2010 at 5:17 pm
Magpie understands the story. He has seen something in the ladies glasses, that we can not see.
Magpie11 said,
January 21, 2010 at 6:39 pm
No! Just remember the traditions of my childhood! Mind you the differences in the reflections are very noticeable!
Phil said,
January 22, 2010 at 1:39 am
I LOL’d
Grannymar said,
January 22, 2010 at 11:40 am
Magpie - Maynard is forever seeing things differently.
Phil -
bikehikebabe said,
January 22, 2010 at 8:42 pm
Oh to be young again. Now we rely on jokes. Good one GM!
Alice said,
January 22, 2010 at 11:21 pm
Grannymar said,
January 23, 2010 at 9:40 am
Alice,
At this stage friends from all across the globe send me items for this Thursday slot.