Thursday Special ~ Tests
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, ’Hello.’
‘Mrs. Sanders, please.’
‘Speaking.’
‘Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor James at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband’s doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr.Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not good.’
‘What do you mean?’ Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
‘Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer’s and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can’t tell which is which.’
‘That’s dreadful! Can you do the test again?’ questioned Mrs. Sanders.
‘Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests once and once only.’
‘Well, what am I supposed to do now?’
‘The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don’t sleep with him.’
Thank you Bikehikebabe for this one.
Nick said,
December 10, 2009 at 9:02 am
Very funny. Of course these mix-ups happen all the time. That must explain the test that said my IQ was 27. And the one that said I was pregnant.
steph said,
December 10, 2009 at 9:37 am
Nice one!
If only there was such a thing as a positive test for Alzheimer’s. Sadly, the only way it can be confirmed, is at autopsy.
Grannymar said,
December 10, 2009 at 10:49 am
Nick - Not twins I hope.
Steph - I agree.
Rummuser said,
December 10, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Doctors too can make mistakes!
As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, “I can’t find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it’s due to drinking.”
“In that case,” said the patient, “I’ll come back when you’re sober”
Magpie11 said,
December 10, 2009 at 12:22 pm
How near are they to developing a test? I thought that some scan or other can help?
gaelikaa said,
December 10, 2009 at 1:08 pm
ha ha ha ha ha………..good one!
wisewebwoman said,
December 10, 2009 at 1:17 pm
LOL
XO
WWW
Nick said,
December 10, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Ramana - I love it!
Maynard said,
December 10, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Thanks for the reminder, I’m NOT going to the doctor now.
Grannymar said,
December 10, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Ramana - Indeed. Doctors do make mistakes and sometimes it is because of drink.
Magpie - To date the only way seems to be a scan after death. I have come across three amazing things, where patients that seem lost to the outside world, respond to music, prayers taught in childhood and the knack of lighting a cigarette.
Grannymar said,
December 10, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Gaelikaa & WWW - glad it made you smile.
Nick - Ramana has three more on his blog today.
Maynard - You better go to that doctor…. it might be twins!
Nancy said,
December 10, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Ramana,
I LOVE your joke about the Doctor. I was going to the Doctor the other day and a friend gave me this advice.
She said,’ Don’t let that doctor examine you in the nude. Make him put clothes on.”
Grannymar said,
December 10, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Nancy - I hope you were well covered!
Anu said,
December 10, 2009 at 6:00 pm
LOL! Good one!
Anu said,
December 10, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Something that I found:
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That’s terrible! WHAT could be WORSE? What’s the very bad news?
Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.
Some more:
“Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pack of cards!”
“Sit down and I’ll deal with you later.”
*****
“Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a bridge!”
“What’s come over you?”
*****
“Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!”
“Pull yourself together!”
Grannymar said,
December 10, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Anu, You have been busy. I am chuckling away and trying to draw myself together!
Anu said,
December 10, 2009 at 7:16 pm
There are a few more on my blog. I’d posted the link on Ramana Sirs Blog.
Once again its:
http://myrealmofimagination.wordpress.com/2009/12/10/gags-d-2/
Hope you enjoy reading them as much!
Baino said,
December 10, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Haha! Still it’s serious when this happens. There’s a story out here at the moment about a young man who was convicted of rape on DNA evidence but it turns out there was an error in the analysis. He’s free now but not after spending some time in the lock-up!
Magpie11 said,
December 10, 2009 at 10:01 pm
There was a play on Radio four about DNA evidence yesterday… all to do with the statistics.
Sam said,
December 10, 2009 at 10:19 pm
P.S. GrannyMar - thank goodness for google feedreader - I got a glimpse of the silent hallelujah chorus - utterly classic - am going to steal it for my blog!! (sorry - I know you clearly mean to post it tomorrow!!)
Grannymar said,
December 10, 2009 at 10:47 pm
Anu - Thank you, I enjoyed the jokes on your blog.
Baino & Magpie - I wonder if that is the same story… it sounds like it.
Sam - My Blog and Browser are playing up today. I have completely lost another post tonight.
That post will show-up on Sunday.
Darlene said,
December 10, 2009 at 11:15 pm
A man went to the doctor to find out why he was not feeling up to par The doctor told him that he would run some tests and for the man to come back the next day for the results.
The next day the man came to see the doctor who told him he had good news and bad news; which did he want first? The man said he would like the bad news first. The doctor told him he had Alzheimer’s disease.
The man said, “Oh my God. What kind of news can you possible give me that would be good after a diagnosis like that? ”
To which the doctor replied, “By the time you get home you won’t remember.”
bikehikebabe said,
December 11, 2009 at 2:34 am
Ramana - I love it!
Ramana,
I LOVE your joke about the Doctor.
Ramana has three more on his blog today.
Ramana - Indeed. Doctors do make mistakes and sometimes it is because of drink.
I might have skipped a few Ramana’s. But bikehikebabe sent Grannymar this joke.
Grannymar said,
December 11, 2009 at 9:09 am
Darlene - Very good. On a serious note, I think that those dementia patients who do not realise or remember, are the lucky ones. They seem to live in a happy world of their own.
BHB - The references to Ramana are for the joke he left in the comments, all the others refer to your joke which was the feature for today.
bikehikebabe said,
December 11, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Oh dear, My vulnerability is showing. Not the right word exactly. My alter-ego reared it’s ugly head.