The Cats Away!
Now this is a secret!
Be careful who is peeping over your shoulder while you look at this:-
.
.
.
She is away this weekend so it is safe to tell you. I know she will be far too busy to read this.
In her absence she has appointed two minders to take care of me…. anyone would think I was a child sitting eating chocolate bikkies all the day long.
Darragh & Niamh are looking after me very well. In fact they are spoiling me something rotten!
I discovered they had their instructions before they left Dublin and you never believe what they were told to do!!!! Just take a look:-
Morning - I make sure mum is up between 6 - 7 am and that she dresses herself, but may need help putting on her Right sock (it says R on the sock so that she knows) and will nearly certainly need her shoes tightened before heading for a walk. When she squeals at this, pull tighter and tell her ‘Pride feels no pain’! If she refuses to get up, use the police whistle hanging outside her door. If that doesn’t work, there’s a silver bucket you can fill with cold water to throw on her. Don’t worry about the damp sheets.
Breakfast - Mum eats a set brekkie, as per her recent post, there are 9 boxes on the top shelf of the pantry, the bowl with her name painted on the outside, a mug, hot water pot, spoon and ramekin for the fruit & nuts. she takes hot water to drink and orange juice on her museli. She’ll take tablets at this point. Make sure she eats everything. I don’t allow her to leave the table until it’s all gone. If she refuses to finish breakfast, just give it to her again for lunch.
Morning walk - try to encourage her to head out as soon as breakfast is over, never mind if she complains about the cold. Bracing air is good for the chest. Make sure you walk her fast uphill, keep her going for over a mile. I think she looks for the easy option. When you get home, she’ll take coffee and a little treat (choccie biccies in the pantry) Only if she’s good. She should be encouraged to lie down for an hour afterwards. Carry her to the bedroom if you have to.
Lunch/Dinner - Really she’s been piling on the weight recently (who is she kidding, my two legs are almost the same size again!)so look after yourselves. Give her something nice if she deserves it. I tend to ration the food by how much she’s behaved and hiked during the day.
Afternoon walk - a second walk plus a set of exercises is essential. She should be encouraged to lie down for an hour afterwards. Again, I don’t mind if you have to strap her in. I’ve left those on the hall table. It is afterall the only way you will have any peace!
Evening - mum likes to eat before 7pm and needs to take more tablets with this meal.
9:00 - 10:00pm - Mum heads to bed and takes in her laptop on her little table. Please put laptop on charge and bring her a mug of hot water. Don’t take any funny business from her. She must be in bed by 10 sharp!
11:00pm - take mum in a glass of fruit juice (not orange - she’s not been well behaved enough to deserve it). Lights must go out at this time……….
No we won’t tell her we are having a whale of a time, Disco on Friday night, last night we played Darts in a local pub and today we are off for a little ice skating….
I might just have time to catch my breath before she returns or sends in the nursing police. 
Nick said,
October 18, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Hasn’t she missed out a few things there? Keep Grannymar on the leash at all times. Give her water in the bowl marked “Fido”. Give her the bonios on the top shelf. And stop her barking at the budgie. I think that’s about it.
Disco indeed. Harumph. We’ll soon put a stop to that, young lady….
Maynard said,
October 18, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Grannymar, that sounds like the simply life. What are you going to do when you are completely healed?????
Grannymar said,
October 18, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Nick - I thought you were my friend.
Maynard - There will be no stopping me once I am back on full power.
Rummuser said,
October 18, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Grannymar, this rightly belongs to your Tursday post. What are you doing posting it on a Sunday? Elly might have just about taken it in the right spirit had you posted it on Thursday. I wonder how she will react to it today!
bikehikebabe said,
October 18, 2009 at 4:13 pm
I think Elly has a good regiment for you—except for the bucket of ice water. You haven’t been “piling on the weight”. Credit her!
steph said,
October 18, 2009 at 4:36 pm
I’m tellin’
wisewebwoman said,
October 18, 2009 at 6:40 pm
I’m glad you’ve broken the traces, GM and are gallopping off all over the place. The nerve of that Ellie! You’d think you were incapacitated or something!
XO
WWW
Baino said,
October 18, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Haha most excellent post. Gave me a giggle early this morning! She’s a hard taskmaster but hey, it’s working. I wish I had someone to put some discepline into my life frankly! Enjoy the toy boys!
Grannymar said,
October 18, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Ramana - I am fortunate that Elly has shoulders broad enough to take my teasing.
BHB - The is no time to gain weight around here, even Elly has gone down two sizes!
Steph - Oh no, you won’t!
WWW - The galloping is in my head! Today was very wet and with all the leaves about I didn’t manage to venture out. Hopefully tomorrow I will make up for it.
TheChrisD said,
October 18, 2009 at 8:46 pm
I’m a little surprised Darragh and Niamh are surviving up there…
Nick said,
October 18, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Of course I’m your friend. Those bonios are top quality.
Grannymar said,
October 18, 2009 at 9:03 pm
ChrisD - The are just about alive, living with GM is hard going!
Nick - I will use the bonios to sharpen my teeth!
Magpie11 said,
October 18, 2009 at 10:36 pm
What can I say….it sounds just like my mother…the devil torment her soul..if she ever had one!
I bet she says, “Have some nasty medicine. It wouldn’t make you better if it tasted nice.”
And does she crush up your tablets on a spoonful of jam too? I hate jam and they always did that to me!!!!
BTW Bonios aren’t as good as the black charcoal ones in Spiller’s Shapes…. I know, I tried them all when I was a child! The best thing was the date like stuff in the cattle feed…I tink it might have been carob.
Any way there’s some ideas for emergency rations!
Grannymar said,
October 18, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Magpie - I will organise a secret stash before she returns!
Rhyleysgranny said,
October 18, 2009 at 11:05 pm
I am interested in the “Funny Business”
Grannymar said,
October 18, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Rhyleysgranny - “Funny Business” - it is a laugh a minute round here any hour of the day.
Jean Browman--Cheerful Monk said,
October 19, 2009 at 2:31 am
I’m still laughing out loud. Once again thank you.
Grannymar said,
October 19, 2009 at 10:18 am
Jean - I can hear you on this side of the pond!
Helen McGinn said,
October 19, 2009 at 4:35 pm
ROTFL! This is wonderful; my mum would have a meat cleaver at the ready for my return……
Grannymar said,
October 19, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Helen - Teasing has really helped me through the early days post op. I have not laughed so much in years.
gaelikaa said,
October 21, 2009 at 7:00 am
Elly is a great nurse, but she needs a break and so do you!
Grannymar said,
October 21, 2009 at 7:24 am
Gaelikaa, she is having that break and I have her deputy. There are still things I am not ready for so need those extra hands. I also need to be weaned off the constant help and prepare for the time when I will be alone again.
Kate said,
October 25, 2009 at 7:59 am
I have a daughter like that - do you think its the upbringing? And where did you get that T Shirt - I want one!!!
Grannymar said,
October 25, 2009 at 8:34 am
Kate, Are you saying we did a good job? I hope we did. As(da) for the t-shirt….. a young lady brought it back with the grocery shopping before she went to Dublin.
Kate said,
October 25, 2009 at 8:37 am
I KNOW we did - like you I see it every day!!!!
Grannymar » What mark would you like to leave on the world? said,
August 30, 2011 at 2:35 pm
[...] Well, I have been there, done that and have the t-shirt. [...]