Thursday Special ~ EVE’S SIDE OF THE STORY
Creation of Woman & Man
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. ‘So, how is everything going?’ inquired God.
“It is all so beautiful, God,’ she replied. ‘The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem”
“It’s these breasts that you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They’re a real pain.’ And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc
Eve felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more ’symmetrically balanced’.
‘That’s a fair point,’ replied God, ‘but it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it right away.’ And with that, God reached down, removed the middle breast and cast it off into the bushes….
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
“Well, Eve, how is my favourite creation?’”
‘Just fantastic,’ she replied, ‘But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.’
God thought for a moment and said, ‘You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let’s see….where did I put that useless boob?’
Now doesn’t THAT make so much more sense than all that hoopla about a rib 
Thanks Nancy for this weeks chuckle.
gaelikaa said,
October 15, 2009 at 6:49 am
This is a variation on the ‘when God created man She was only joking’ theme…….
Ursula said,
October 15, 2009 at 8:46 am
Grannymar, since legend has it that woman was forged of a rib I am sure you will have the backbone to take my criticism: To reduce ‘man’ to a limp piece of a surplus part of mammary is neither funny nor desirable.
U
Nick said,
October 15, 2009 at 9:13 am
So that’s why men are so fascinated by breasts. They’re looking for mummy and daddy….
Geri Atric said,
October 15, 2009 at 9:40 am
Nice one GM.! Let the men be ‘ribbed’ for a change!
Steph said,
October 15, 2009 at 9:45 am
Grannymar (and Nancy)
That does make sense…
‘cos a man’s idea of heaven is to be nestled between two boobs!
Grannymar said,
October 15, 2009 at 11:00 am
Gaelikaa - It is one of many stories like that.
Ursula - As I reply to the five comments so far on this post, you are the only one to find offence. I don’t set out to offend anybody. Thursday Special has been going for quite some time. Friends from across the globe send me jokes, some I deem fit to reproduce here while others go no further than my inbox.
Nick - Something like that.
Geri - I enjoyed that quip!
Steph - I had almost forgotten.
Baino said,
October 15, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Haha ‘useless boobs’. You’ve just lost your male readership I finks.
elly said,
October 15, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Ursula - Grannymar has a set schedule and puts up funny posts each Thursday. 99% of her readers find them funny, but you seem to have been born without a sense of humour. Perhaps it would be better for you to ignore her blog on Thursdays, since you are adding nothing of value to the conversation.
Ursula said,
October 15, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Grannymar, I never cease to be amazed how defensive people are. I was commenting on the joke, not on you.
Elly, leaving aside your assessment of how I was born, your reply to my comment lacks charm: “Sense of humour” is not something to be measured. What is one person’s hilarity is another’s sadness.
I add “nothing of value to the conversation”. If that is so, in your view, I shall bow to Nurse Hitler’s view and shut up.
As an aside, Elly: How do you know that 99 % of people reading this Thursday’s joke find it funny? Not every reader will comment. I nearly didn’t.
U
Nick said,
October 15, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Hey, lighten up, Ursula, it’s a joke! As a bloke, I’m not remotely offended by jokes about man-boobs. My self-esteem is still throughly intact….
Rummuser said,
October 15, 2009 at 2:24 pm
This is getting to be quite a forum on this Thursday! I think that we should let Maynard be judge jury and hangman. He is reputed to be an expert on breasts, ribs and anything else that will tickle one’s funny or whatever bone.
I wish that God had just left the three in place. I wonder if it would have made men look at women’ eyes when they spoke to them.
Rummuser said,
October 15, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Incidentally, men are totally useless anyway. Just read this: “Female mosquitoes, unlike males, have a proboscis. This is a long thin needle-like built-in syringe located at the mouth. They use this to impale their victims, in order to fill their abdomens with blood. Proteins in the blood are necessary to produce fertile eggs. Since males cannot produce eggs they have no need for blood. Females require a new blood ‘meal’ for every nest they lay, and produce about 250 eggs per meal.” So, the next time you get bitten by a mosquito, you will know that the male mosquito was not responsible and you had just donated blood for a very worthwhile cause.
chrisb said,
October 15, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Grannymar I’ve laughed at this one before and did so again. I also laugh at the jokes made about women. It’s just a bit of fun and goodness knows we need something to smile about
elly said,
October 15, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Ursula, commenting on the joke comments directly on the sense of humour that my mother & I share. I was lucky to grow up in a house where the rafters rang with laughter and the craic flowed free and full.
In Ireland, sense of humour is prized as a valuable asset and those without it are commonly know as “dry aul shites”!
As for the 99% of people, in the few years that my mother has been running her Thursday specials, you are the only person to regularly find fault with her jokes. I also personally know many of the people that read this blog and all of them love it - which was reflected when grannymar (jointly) won “Best Personal Blogger of the Year 2008″ in the Irish Blog awards and “Best Blog Post of the Month April 2008″, nevermind the multiple awards bestowed on her by fellow bloggers over the years.
Maynard said,
October 15, 2009 at 3:21 pm
I need more “anatomical ” facts to be judgemental!
But Rummy, if the male is worthless why do the female mosquitoes suck the human male’s blood also?
Grannymar said,
October 15, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Ursula - I was not being defensive, merely giving you an explanation of how I go about my Thursday Specials.
Nick - I am with you on this one, Thursdays were meant to be light hearted days here at Grannymar’s. The nice thing about Blog reading is that nobody is under obligation to either read or comment on any post.
Ramana - Last time Elly was in Italy, she was eaten alive by the mozzies. I think she would have preferred to donate blood for other purposes!
I will watch out for Maynard!
Chrisb - We do indeed need the opportunity to laugh on a regular basis. It is a better tonic than any pills!
Elly - I am glad you have happy memories of your young days when we as a family laughed with and at each other.
Maynard - I will bow to Ramana’s knowledge of mosquitoes.
Magpie11 said,
October 15, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Yup Steph …a girl on each arm, heavenly! Has been known to happen, even to me! Murder when you have to choose between them..especially if one is your spouse… :-0
This was a new one on me…… Must post it to a few of the ribald women I know…note ribald women , not ladies!
For more on the habits of Mosquitoes:
http://magpie11.wordpress.com/2009/05/25/the-sweetest-meat/
Sorry for publicising self!
Male mosquitoes are happy little vegetarians apparently…so no nasty parasites to pass on to us!
Steph said,
October 15, 2009 at 8:39 pm
@ Magpie
Shhh! Group sex is not permitted on this blog
@ Nancy
Got any more jokes?
Jean Browman--Cheerful Monk said,
October 15, 2009 at 9:05 pm
I love it! Thanks for making my day.
Betty said,
October 15, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Thanks for the laugh, Grannymar and Nancy!
Helen McGinn said,
October 15, 2009 at 10:59 pm
Ooh, who would have thought a boob joke would cause controversy? ;O) *L* I must admit to snorting at the ‘dry aul shites’ comment Elly; memories of a favourite aunty came flooding right back!
Love your blog, looking forward to my first 9am post tomorrow!
Helen x
Darlene said,
October 15, 2009 at 11:06 pm
Just to let everyone know, I don’t find any joke offensive. (Of course they have to be funny and not just dirty). Laughter is the best medicine and, God knows, the world needs more of it.
A Joke is just that - a joke.
Blonds have to swallow twice, I’m sure, when they read all the ‘dumb blond’ jokes, but they don’t take it personally and know next year it could be stupid read heads, or something.
If we can’t laugh at ourselves there is something missing in our psyche. Lighten up, Ursula.
gaelikaa said,
October 16, 2009 at 5:14 am
Hey, I was the first to comment on this post and now that I ‘ve come back I see there’s been quite a to do about this joke!
Well, you know what they say! “Everyone to their own!” A sense of humour is a very personal thing!
As for taking offence, you can choose to take it or not. It is always better to choose not to, and if we can’t say something positive, we are always better off saying nothing.
I recently visited a blog and saw a remark that sent my blood pressure soaring. I was furious. If I’d commented, I’d at best be ignored and at worst make an enemy for life - in the blogosphere at least. I resisted the temptation to comment. Just for then. I went away and forgot about it. I promised myself I’d come back later when I felt cooler.
But I get so busy with kids, husband, in-laws, my own blogs and all plus my regular blogging pals whom I visit habitually, I just forgot about it.
I’m so glad I did!
Elly’s quite protective of her mother, I’m glad to see. My Mel is exactly the same.
gaelikaa said,
October 16, 2009 at 5:21 am
@Elly - you had me laughing there - ‘dry aul’ shites’ indeed! Haven’t heard that one in years! We have quite a few of them where I live now, I miss the Irish humour!
Brighid said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:05 am
Thanks for the very funny joke. I’ve sent it on to one of my brother-in-laws, knowing he’ll like it too.
I do believe Eve was an Irish strawberry blonde.
Grannymar said,
October 16, 2009 at 9:42 am
Thank you everyone for your comments.
It looks Thursday Specials will be around for many another week!