Thursday Special ~ Confession
Catholic guy goes into the confessional box.
He notices on one side a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.
On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars.
Then the priest comes in.
“Father, forgive me, for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting these days.”
The priest replies “Get out. You’re on my side.”
gaelikaa said,
August 6, 2009 at 6:19 am
Hilarious! But mind you now, I never did notice a smell of beer or cigars in the confessional. Those little boxes are quite airtight you know, you couldn’t get away with boozing and smoking so easily in there.
steph said,
August 6, 2009 at 6:44 am
Grannymar,
I have a confession to make…
I’ve never been to confession
Do you have to put money in a slot to have a go?
Grannymar said,
August 6, 2009 at 7:24 am
@gaelikaa - Welcome on board. Those dark little boxes were very frightening to a little girl.
@Steph - I have not been myself for many a long year. Nowadays I prefer the direct route!
tikno said,
August 6, 2009 at 8:14 am
Is this a teasing to the current conditions?
Nick said,
August 6, 2009 at 8:32 am
Shouldn’t there also be a hot line to the betting shop?
The only person I confess to is my loved one. Well, I don’t confess quite everything, there are a few little things I keep to myself….
Kate said,
August 6, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Brilliant - I always wondered what they got up to behind that curtain!
Nancy said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:35 pm
How about the kid who went to confession and told the priest that he had stolen lumber.
Priest: “For stealing that lumber you must say two Our fathers and three Hail Marys.”
The next week the kid was back again and confessed he had stolen more lumber.
Priest: “For again stealing lumber you must say three rosaries and twelve Acts of Contrition.”
Next week the kid was back again. Same story,he had stolen lumber.
The priest was wild and said,” Young man, Do you know how to make a Novena?”
“No Father, but if you have the plans, I know where we can get the lumber.”
Grannymar said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:43 pm
@Tikno - Welcome to my blog. ‘The Thursday Special’ is always a light hearted joke, and I wish never to cause offence.
@Nick - Perhaps that was under the counter!
@Kate - I bet you were not the only one!
@Nancy - Handy kid to know
tikno said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:55 pm
At least an interesting humor in modern world.
Rumuuser said,
August 6, 2009 at 4:10 pm
The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears several confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest suggests, “Cross your arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand.”
The new priest tries this. The old priest suggests, “Try saying things like, ‘I see, yes, go on, and I understand, how did you feel about that?”
The new priest says those things, trying them out. The old priest says, “Now, don’t you think that’s a little better than slapping your knee and saying, ‘No way! What happened next?’”
Grannymar said,
August 6, 2009 at 4:13 pm
@Tikno - I hope so.
@Ramana - Nancy will love that one!
Maynard said,
August 6, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Great entertainment!
Grannymar said,
August 6, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Maynard,
glad you enjoyed it.
Betty said,
August 6, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Good one! I’ve e-mailed it to a few friends. They’ll get a kick out of it.
Grannymar said,
August 6, 2009 at 9:52 pm
Betty,
I wonder how long before it is back with the first person who emailed it? These stories seem to round and round.
Baino said,
August 6, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Haha . . I have a friend who’s a priest and he reminds me that he can drink, smoke, gamble, . .it’s only the wild, wild, women he’s not allowed to go near! In my experience, the Friary near us has the best bar in christendom! And don’t think I haven’t seen you in Liquorland Fr Tony! You stand out like a sore thumb in that Franciscan cassock!
Grannymar said,
August 6, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Baino,
Poor Fr Tony. Cough, cough… purely for medicinal purposes you know!
Darlene said,
August 7, 2009 at 1:25 am
I confess - this is so funny.
wisewebwoman said,
August 7, 2009 at 4:15 am
Oh thanks, GM, that explains old Father H in the box on Saturday afternoons, back in the day. Sometimes we actually had to go in on his side and give him a poke to wake him up
)
XO
WWW
JD said,
August 7, 2009 at 4:46 am
Brilliant Grannymar!!!
Grannymar said,
August 7, 2009 at 7:54 am
@Darlene - And such value too… three for the price of one today!
@WWW - I remember an Order church in Dublin where all the ancient priests were on Saturday afternoon confessional duty. Ah hell! I’ll save it for another post some day!
@JD - Welcome back!
Ashok said,
August 7, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Looks like the priest was in a mood to confess just how much he appreciates the people who confess to him
Grannymar said,
August 7, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Ashok, I doubt if he was willing to share!