The tears flowed
This week I cried.
I cried for three reasons.
Perhaps I should rethink watching videos.
This first video made me cry because it might be me tomorrow. OR it might be you! [Give it time (Approx. 85 minutes) - Directed and Produced by Shari Cookson and Nick Doob]. If you don’t want to watch all of it there is an article to accompany it.
http://www.hbo.com/alzheimers/memory-loss-tapes.html
Thank you wise web woman for drawing my attention to it.
*o*o*o*o*
The second time I cried was when I watched this video on Will Knott’s blog. Will explained:
Michael O’Brien, former councillor and Mayor of Clonmel attended the RTÉ programme Questions and Answers on 25 May 2009 and, after Minister Noel Dempsey, the sponsoring minister of the Ryan Commission report in to Child Abuse allegations spoke, Mr O’Brien spoke to the minister and to the panel.
If you have any difficulty with local accent a transcript can be found here
Below is an extract I wrote in reply to an email I received during the week on the topic of abuse:
Here in Ireland and indeed the UK we are knee deep in articles about, and as a result of, this weeks report from the Commission to Inquire Into Child Abuse. For so many it is an opportunity to now openly and for the first time accept and talk about what happened to them in childhood.
In 1996 the Congregation of the Sisters of Mercy, a Roman Catholic religious order, apologized unconditionally for the ”physical and emotional trauma” its nuns inflicted on children raised in its orphanages and schools.
I attended one of their day schools in Dublin for five years. It was new. They called it a College in order to charge greater fees. I was a slow learner, a fact I constantly admit to. On a daily basis I was caned, belittled, invited to remove my shoes and socks to use my toes for counting! I was told I was stupid and would N-E-V-E-R make anything of myself. I was extremely thin (6st 12ozs by the time I reached 21!) and this was remarked upon regularly in class, it was considered a cause for amusement.
The report this week does not cover abuse by diocesan clergy who are not members of a religious order, that is separate and yet to come.
If that was not enough we were regularly bellowed at from the pulpit with threats of ‘Hellfire and Damnation’!
Alas, the past week has upset me as I think of those whose lives were ruined; and for myself I feel the pull of the dark clouds dragging me back to the darkness of those early years.
Is it any wonder that Ireland is known as a nation of Alcoholics!
I did know some excellent Catholic Clergy but you could count them on one hand.
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The third time I cried was for a very different reason, they were tears of laughter
Patricia, buxom blonde and alter ego of Paddy Anglican will be aided by an item belonging to Grannymar and once the day is over, and the item freshly laundered, it will be auctioned for charity. So start counting your pennies…
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Nelly said,
May 29, 2009 at 9:25 am
Sisters of (no) Mercy?
I cannot say my experiences were as harsh as yours Grannymar. For a start the Sisters of St Louis didn’t use physical punishment being a nice middle class order. But if you were not from a well-to-do family they could do plenty of belittling. One of the best teachers in our school was a Protestant from the Moravian church in Gracehill. I still remember her with fondness. The nuns? Not so much.
Niamh said,
May 29, 2009 at 10:08 am
Grannymar, it is astounding how far those tendrils of fear and hate reached with the abuse, lasting long into the adult years of those affected. I’d like to think that they are unfurling at last and that people will speak out more about their experiences and against the perpetrators. The fact that they will not name or prosecute such people or even force the organisations responsible for the cover ups to pay some sort of compensation makes me so angry.
Patricia Anglican - well!! I’m sorry I won’t be in Dublin on Monday to watch Grannymar’s bloomers cross the finish line but I wish ‘her’ all the best
Annb said,
May 29, 2009 at 10:36 am
I still struggle with doing mental calculations - a result of years and years of being told I was stupid by the Jesus and Mary Nuns. I’ve overcome the struggle with the help of many a friendly electronic calculator over the years! However what I find very disturbing about this whole expose is that there is still no legislative safeguard in place for children in Ireland. The Children First guidelines have no legal power and are not uniformly implemented across the state.
Organisations like, our nemeses, Enable Ireland do not carry out proper checks on staff and when staff have been found to be, (as happened with us), and I quote “A threat to public safety” they are still allowed to work, unsupervised with children with disabilities. There is no sanction for this.
I hope that we can help to heal those who have been so damaged by this outrage, but I also hope that we have the humanity to make sure this can never happen again. I don’t want my son to have to tell a similar story on prime time TV in 20 year’s time.
Thanks for highlighting this GM
BTW love the knickers!
Ian said,
May 29, 2009 at 1:37 pm
I’ve just come from a Catholic National School where the parish priest stands in a tradition of saintly characters and I have known many like him. I worked for a year with Sacred Heart sisters who devoted their lives to providing a safe and secure and nurturing environment for boys with what was then called mental handicap.
The abuse became possible through the evil arrogance of a church led by McQuaid with the collusion of the State, but there are many parts of Dublin where the church is the last positive presence in people’s lives. As a Protestant, I would be fearful what a church-free Ireland would be like, the Celtic Tiger years have been a frightening demonstration of what people can be like when they abandon religion.
Carole said,
May 29, 2009 at 1:54 pm
The similarities between what took place in these institutions and the residential schools for Native children in Canada are stunning. Although the reasons for bringing kids to these places may differ, they suffered the same fate and have had to deal with the effects of such abuse. Families and whole communities have been destroyed by the effects of residential schools.
Grannymar, thank you for sharing the video (very powerful) and your personal experience.
Grannymar said,
May 29, 2009 at 2:37 pm
@Nelly - The only teacher I remember with fondness was my first ever teacher from primary school, I was in her class for three years.
@Niamh - I hope that the disclosures of the past week will finally bring acceptance, peace and closure to the victims and a wake-up call to every one of us not to let it happen again.
@Annb - There is plenty of power out there. PARENT POWER! It is up to us to listen to our children, check out the schools and organization we want our children to be part of. DON’T tell me there is no time. We had time to bring the children into this world. People go around with signs on the rear of cars - ‘A dog is for life and not for Christmas’! A child is for life, we have no right to bring them into this world and then abandon them to paid help, they are not toys or gadgets, they are OUR FUTURE!
@Ian - Like most catholic families in Ireland we had our share of Priests, christian brothers and nuns. I knew them as family members. Some were genuinely caring while others I saw as very selfish. They were human like me.
I do agree with you about the adoration of the Geld! Unfortunately the nature of many Irish folk is to moan and blame everyone else instead of going to the root of a problem and doing something about it. Perhaps more people will now think and then get off their tail ends and vote. If people do not exercise their vote they lose the right to complain.
@Carole - These things happened the world over. Now we need to concentrate on making sure it never happens again.
I tried not to enter this debate because I knew it would make me angry and sound bitter. I am not bitter only hurting for those like Michael O’Brien whose dignity and childhoods were stolen.
rummuser said,
May 29, 2009 at 3:58 pm
I cried too.
Darlene said,
May 29, 2009 at 4:11 pm
There is no crime worse than that of abusing a helpless child. And when it is done in the name of religion it adds hypocrisy and cruelty to the mix. I could go on about child abuse and the terrible damage done to the vulnerable victims, but it would make me cry bitter tears.
Grannymar said,
May 29, 2009 at 5:08 pm
@Ramana - Many cried this week I only hope the tears were healing.
@Darlene - I am sorry to upset you. I wanted to inform and hope prevent this type of treatment in the future.
Annb said,
May 29, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Parent power is great if you have a choice of schools, for kids with disabilities parents often have little choice. I have shouted from the roof tops, I have raised a question in the Dail, I’ve been to the Ombudsman for Children,I have been on radio, in the newspapers, you name it; I’ve done it - however there is no legal basis to the children first guidelines. Until children’s rights are given a legal framework, we have to rely on a moral argument, sadly many organisations that exist for kids today do not share our morals. I have made the decision to treat my son at home myself, until he goes to school, that was the only choice available to me. I’m one of the very lucky ones, and I appreciate that, every moment of every day of my life.
Grannymar said,
May 29, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Sorry Annb,
I knew if I got angry I would be carried away. You have a difficult situation on your hands. That particular comment should have been placed more openly and not focused on you personally.
My daughter was healthy, but I still had to go to the Education Board to put my case for having her educated at a good school outside my catchment area. A school where they locked the book cupboard to limit reading was not what I wanted for Elly.
Annb said,
May 29, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Thanks GM, it’s been an emotional time for everyone, we must make sure we clear out the rot to stop the hurt recurring, that’s the most effective way of healing and moving on. This time, I think people power will win.
Magpie11 said,
May 29, 2009 at 11:26 pm
I had thought that my experiences as a child were bad…no more…..
I feel anger and rage rising from deep inside.
I cannot stay.
Good luck with the run Patricia!
Grannymar said,
May 29, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Magpie, take care!
Ian Healy said,
May 30, 2009 at 12:45 am
Ah that was touching
you have this way of being very morbid,and then throwing in occasional one-liners that soften the mood again! i love it!
Baino said,
May 30, 2009 at 12:49 am
There are almost daily instances of prior abuse coming up in the news here. All through the Catholic Church and often sexual abuse by priests. Not one instance but many. I don’t know why it took so long for people to come forward and tell their stories. It’s unforgiveable no wonder I’m an athiest. I can’t stand the hypocrasy of organised religion having said that, it’s such a shame that good men and women are tarnished by the actions of these evildoers. I’m sorry you were so belittled GM. I went to public schools all my life and must admit never had such an experience although I remember the boys being caned for bad behaviour.
paddyanglican said,
May 30, 2009 at 7:26 am
Thanks Magpie
Grannymar said,
May 30, 2009 at 9:03 am
Baino,
Fear, was the reason. Victims who tried to complain were made out to be liars. The culture of the time put clergy on pedestals and refused to allow them be human.
Now the floodgates have opened and hopefully when the hurt is faced and problem dealt with we can move on knowing that these situations will not be tolerated or allowed in the future.
Grannymar said,
May 30, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Ian H, Hello!
Long time no hear. I found you in the spam bin. I hope life is treating you well these days.