Handy Hints for Wednesday ~ 29
Today for a change I am trying something different -
Please share your most useful Handy Hint.
Everyone has a particular favourite, so come on don’t be shy.
Who will be the first…..
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Rowan Manahan said,
May 27, 2009 at 8:41 am
When trying to budge a screw or bolt that’s rusted and stuck - soak it down with WD-40 or similar. Use a few soakings over time and really let it sink in. Then, get the bolt moving by first turning it an eighth of a turn CLOCKWISE before unscrewing normally.
This works 9 times out of 10. But be warned, if you go further than an eighth of a turn clockwise, you can shear off the head of the screw/bolt.
Primal Sneeze said,
May 27, 2009 at 9:30 am
To remove a sheep or pig from your living room do not attempt to shove them forward - their front-pointing hooves will snag in the carpet and they won’t budge an inch.
Rather you should push them backwards - they will slide easily in reverse causing little or no damage to the floor covering. Plus it offers a great opportunity to explain to them face-to-face why they should not be in your house.
A word of caution: They above method does not work well for gazelle. I recommend seeking professional assistance in that case.
steph said,
May 27, 2009 at 10:18 am
Never trust a fart past fifty
d@\/e said,
May 27, 2009 at 10:23 am
If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and the blockage is almost instantly removed.
Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The morning after, you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.
Don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
Don’t waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view.
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl will make the fishes’ eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.
Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.
A next door neighbour’s car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency.
An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.
Athletes. Disguise the fact that you’ve taken steroids by running a bit slower.
Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, always circle the stain in permanent pen, so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.
Suffer from high blood pressure. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Heavy smokers. Don’t throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you’ll have enough to insulate your roof.
Motorists. Enjoy the freedom of cycling by removing your windscreen, sticking half a melon skin on you head, then jumping red lights and driving the wrong way up one way streets.
A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
Marian said,
May 27, 2009 at 10:28 am
My handiest hint of all is using cork notice boards as storage. You can use board pins to hang jewellery from. If you have medals from your glory days as an irish dancer or junior sports star (or your kids have them) use map pins to display them.
Also, if you have clothes that you don’t need anymore and cannot be donated to a charity shop make sure you take buttons or any interesting details off them before you toss them - these could be used to spruce up something your tired of in your wardrobe.
Finaly, if you keep your knives in a knife block - store them upside down ie edge facing up so that the edge remains sharp for longer.
Joe Scanlon said,
May 27, 2009 at 11:49 am
If you need to screw something into wood. it can be made much easier by rubbing the screw on a candle first.
(I had to rewrite this a few times to remove as much of the sexual connotation as possible)
Magpie11 said,
May 27, 2009 at 11:59 am
Joe…I was told that washing up liquid is just as effective…or soap for that matter.
d@\/e …..thanks for the laugh!
Worcester sauce cleans and polishes copper really well!
On the subject of intoxicating “lower animals”….apparently old coffee grounds around prized plants does something to snails that prevents them from eating the plants….
Grannymar said,
May 27, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Great work Guys,
You put a smile on my face today.
Now I know I can go on holiday and my Blog will be in good hands.
Joe Scanlon said,
May 27, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Enjoy the hol
Grannymar said,
May 27, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Joe,
No planned holiday yet… although this morning I thought there might be an unscheduled one - thankfully the spray worked. My toyboys are safe for today, I can’t chase them.
rummuser said,
May 27, 2009 at 2:15 pm
When someone asks “How are you doing?” reply, I stopped doing a long time ago.
kenju said,
May 27, 2009 at 2:34 pm
There are some great hints here!! worcestershire sauce to clean pots and pans? Who’d a thunk it?
Magpie11 said,
May 27, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Copper:
My advice is to ignore everybody else’s!
Grannymar said,
May 27, 2009 at 4:53 pm
@Ramana - How did you know?
@Judy - For Copper use the Worcester sauce, and I know of a Brass Lectern that was restored after years of neglect by cleaning with HP sauce.
@Magpie - If I ignore everyone but you…. they might be jealous!
Darlene said,
May 27, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Oh, the comedians are on top form today. I can’t compete so will just try to stay in my chair while I laugh.
Grannymar said,
May 27, 2009 at 8:26 pm
Darlene, You and me both!
wisewebwoman said,
May 28, 2009 at 2:48 am
OMG I was wearing my coffee, Dave’s has to be a bloody classic!
XO
WWW
Grannymar said,
May 28, 2009 at 11:23 am
WWW,
I hope that tshirt is not needed for holidays!
Baino said,
May 28, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Haha . .I’m actually glad I came late to this one. d@\/e’s were classics, pure gold. Although poor Op Shop recipients of Marian’s hand me downs, they won’t have any buttons! Sorry I’m laughing too much to tell you that if you want to remove fluff from black trousers, use a roll of masking tape!
Grannymar said,
May 28, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Baino,
Welcome bace we missed you!
d@\/e said,
May 28, 2009 at 7:30 pm
I’m admitting to plagiarism inspired by Grannymars request, but I reckon the site I stole them from might have stole them from someone else anyway. I was worried after I’d posted them that accidents might happen to people as a result of laughing at the list. I’m just checking to see if all the normal commenters on here are still accounted for.
Grannymar said,
May 28, 2009 at 7:41 pm
D@\/e,
I think you could say they were well recieved well!