Thursday Special ~ Testiculating
Michael visited his urologist following a diagnosis of testicular cancer and expressed concern about being able to perform after the operation. The patient was also worried about the chemotherapy.
The doctor said “I too had testicular cancer a few years ago. Ten days after the operation I made passionate love with my wife, and forgot all my worries. Try it and see for yourself.”
Three weeks later the patient returns, and thanks the doctor effusively. The doctor says “I’m glad my advice helped.”
The patient thanks him again, and as he’s leaving says “By the way Doctor, I love the wood carving on your staircase.”
I didn’t make it up, it came in an email!
Nick said,
May 21, 2009 at 8:30 am
Oh, the wood carving on the bed’s even more spectacular.
Baino said,
May 21, 2009 at 11:59 am
I don’t get it! *thick* ah that’s because the Aussie punchline is “BTW doctor, nice house!”
Grannymar said,
May 21, 2009 at 1:33 pm
@Nick - How do you know?
@Baino - These stories are so old there are more versions than you would find in Elgar’s Enigma Variations
rummuser said,
May 21, 2009 at 2:45 pm
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks
for a beer.
“Certainly, sir, that’ll be 1 cent.”
“One penny?!” exclaimed the guy.
The barman replied, “Yes.”
So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, “Could I have a
nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?”
“Certainly sir,” replies the bartender, “but all that comes to
real money.”
“How much money?” inquires the guy.
“Four cents,” he replies.
“Four cents?!” exclaims the guy. “Where’s the guy who owns this
place?”
The barman replies, “Upstairs with my wife.”
The guy says, “What’s he doing with your wife?”
The bartender replies, “Same as what I’m doing to his business.”
wisewebwoman said,
May 21, 2009 at 3:24 pm
GM:
I honestly don’t get it *perplexed* but I did get rum’s. So not totally thick (for a culchie!)
XO
WWW
Grannymar said,
May 21, 2009 at 4:27 pm
@Ramana - That is a good one.
@WWW - Well… they both involved wives and upstairs!
Darlene said,
May 21, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Old jokes never die - they just get recycled.
Grannymar said,
May 21, 2009 at 6:38 pm
Darlene, Very true.
bikehikebabe said,
May 21, 2009 at 7:02 pm
I don’t get it. Maybe kinda?? To be blunt, is it because the carving is bumpy & that helped. Explain it; don’t leave us with a cliff hanger.
Grannymar said,
May 21, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Bikehikebabe,
There are several versions in the comments above. One not there is: “Hey Doc, where did you get the idea for the mirror in the ceiling?
Nancy said,
May 21, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Grannymar,
Please don’t mention Elgar and his damned variations at this time of year.
Every school band in America is gearing up to play Pomp and Circumstance forty two times during the processional at every high school and college graduation in June.
If the school has 2,000 graduates, then P and C plays for an hour, over and over, from start to finish. I’m serious, you cannot remove that tune from your brain for at least a week.
So, GM, since you have put it in my head I will now return the favor.
” DA DA DA DA DA DA….. DA DA DA DA DA…DA DA
DA DA DA DA DA DA…………
DA DA DA DA
Grannymar said,
May 21, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Sing up Nancy, we cannot hear you!
Magpie11 said,
May 22, 2009 at 12:02 am
Pomp and Circumstance March? Which one?
Land of Soapy Water or one of the others?
BTW T they have nowt to do with the “Enigma Variations”. The most famous of the variations is Nimrod…always played at The Cenotaph on Remembrance Sunday …….
Land of soapy water,
Mother’s having a bath.
Father’s at the keyhole
Having a Jolly good laugh!
wisewebwoman said,
May 22, 2009 at 3:00 am
Duh, thanks GM, I thought he had to up the stairs to see the urologist………
Funny!!
XO
WWW
Grannymar said,
May 22, 2009 at 7:27 am
@Magpie - I never heard of that version before, but now I will never forget it.
@WWW - Glad we sorted that out!
bikehikebabe said,
May 22, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Thanks Nancy, “DA DA DA DA DA DA….. DA DA DA DA DA…DA DA” is going through my head tho’ I don’t have a tune to put that to.
My husband explained Grannymar’s joke before I was halfway through. If anyone is as dense as I am, the patient tried it out on—the urologist’s wife.
Conrad said,
May 23, 2009 at 2:29 am
Gee, bikehikebabe…I’da had it in a minute on my own!