Archive for April, 2009

Thursday Special ~ In a word.

Two sisters, one blonde and the other brunette, inherit the family ranch.

Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, ‘When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.’

The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, ‘I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.’

The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.’ Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, ‘I want you to send her the word ‘comfortable.’

The operator shakes his head. ‘How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word ‘comfortable?’

The brunette explains, ‘My sister’s blonde. The word is big. She’ll read it very slowly…. ‘com-for-da-bul.’

I hear you groan,  it came from a fella!

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Handy Hints for Wednesday ~ 21

Make up your bed with all your fitted sheets on at one time and as one sheet gets dirty just peel it off and your bed is still made up and ready for use.

A used condom rinsed out thoroughly and checked for leaks can be reused many more times.  Any leaks can be patched with duct tape.

If you have tampons in the house, they make a wonderful plug for bloody noses.  The rip cords prevent them getting lodged.

To ease PMS grab a ‘2×4’ length of wood and swing it about wildly.  Be careful not to over use it as it can cause brain damage.

Never dust!  It makes it so much easier to tell where to put things back.

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