Thursday Special ~ The Burglar
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, “Jesus is watching you!”
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
“Jesus is watching you,” the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a birdcage and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot, “Was that you who said Jesus was watching me?”
“Yes,” said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot, “What’s your name?”
“Clarence,” said the bird.
“That’s a stupid name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot would name a parrot Clarence?”
The parrot said, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus.”
steph said,
April 16, 2009 at 6:30 am
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Jesus, I’m gone!
steph said,
April 16, 2009 at 6:32 am
Grannymar,
Would you please correct the clock on your blog
I know I’m an early bird but I’m not THAT early!
Grannymar said,
April 16, 2009 at 6:42 am
Steph,
There is nothing wrong with my blog clock, I just have it set early for winter!
steph said,
April 16, 2009 at 6:47 am
Daniel said,
April 16, 2009 at 7:14 am
LOL
Grannymar said,
April 16, 2009 at 7:47 am
Welcome to another Daniel, this time from ‘norn-iron’!
Nick said,
April 16, 2009 at 7:54 am
Very good. Burglar last seen hurtling down street at top speed, screaming like a banshee, pursued by ferocious dog. But glad to know we’re all being watched over by the Great Rottweiller in the sky.
Baino said,
April 16, 2009 at 11:11 am
You have a clock on your blog . .God I must be totally bleary eyed in the mornings I’ve never noticed. Nice one! If a burglar ever came into my house, he’d have to step over the dog.
Geri Atric said,
April 16, 2009 at 12:29 pm
I owned a Bengal type cat burglar once, called Rocky. She would sneak next door and pinch their poodle’s dinner. Strange thing was though, the dog used to let her… till one day when he came over to steal her food and she beat him up! Grrrr…miouwwww! Poor little thing, I felt quite sorry for him. But there again, his name was Sweetie….
Nancy said,
April 16, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Grannymar,
My Favorite ! Parrot Jokes….Here’s one I like
A lady is walking down the street to work and sees a parrot in a pet store. She stops to admire the bird. The parrot says to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot upon seeing her says, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” She was incredibly ticked now. The next day on the way to work she saw the same parrot and once again it said, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.”
The lady was so furious that she stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store and have the bird killed. The store manager apologized profusely and promised the bird wouldn’t say it again.
The next day, when the lady walked past the store after work the parrot calls to her,”Psst, Hey lady.” She paused, scowled with an icy and deadly stare, and said with a hoarse voice, “Yes?” The bird, strutting back and forth on its perch in a cocky manner says, “You know.”
kenju said,
April 16, 2009 at 12:48 pm
LOL….I like this - and the one in your comments!
Annb said,
April 16, 2009 at 1:10 pm
There was an incident here in Galway a few years ago, where a man broke into the compound of a visiting circus one night. He was met by a very disgruntled Bengal tiger, who feeling angry and hungry, promptly helped himself to a tasty snack of both the burglar’s arms.
When we were discussing this story over the tea table many days later, someone suggested that security at the compound should have been tighter, whereupon my ever witty father in law declared “sure didn’t they have two Bengal bloody tigers what more security do you need?” I wounder if the now arm-less burglar would agree?
Magpie11 said,
April 16, 2009 at 1:23 pm
big smile…..;-0
Grannymar said,
April 16, 2009 at 2:56 pm
@Nick - Were you the burglar? You seem to know plenty about it!
@Baino - Yes, I have a clock on the blog… it uses Irish time!
@Geri - I am cowering at the thoughts of Rocky’s growl!
@Nancy - Another good story!
@Judy -My blog is double the value when Nancy is around!
@Annb - Your FIL was correct.
@Magpie -
rummuser said,
April 16, 2009 at 4:40 pm
That idiot may just be someone that I can identify!
wisewebwoman said,
April 16, 2009 at 5:34 pm
I went looking for the clock and couldn’t find it. ADD: that’s me.
XO
WWW
Grannymar said,
April 16, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Message to my blogging friends:
The CLOCK that Steph referred to, is the time shown on each comment and not a clock face on my homepage! I hope you are all enjoying the content and not noticing the clock is on old time.
@Ramana - Do you know many idiots?
Betty said,
April 16, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Love your jokes. Thanks for the laugh.
elly parker said,
April 16, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Clock fixed.
Brighid said,
April 16, 2009 at 10:01 pm
I remember that parrot, very tasty his was too. Still the ugly American.
Grannymar said,
April 16, 2009 at 10:13 pm
@Betty - Glad you liked them.
@Elly - Thanks >—(^_^)—< ’s
@Brighid -
steph said,
April 17, 2009 at 7:39 am
Thanks! Elly
rummuser said,
April 17, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Grannymar, birds of a feather, flock together.
Grannymar said,
April 17, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Ramana,
Should I fly away?