In the next week or two I will need more oil. I checked out the latest prices the other night and it ranged from £311.00 to £349.65 for 900 Litres. Now my singing efforts would hardly raise the price of a fish supper and as for the dancing…. well we can forget all about that one thank you!

So what are the options?

Rent a room.

Sounds interesting and it would give the neighbours something to think about. If I rent a room do I want to be seen in all my morning glory minus the smile, wooden leg and glass eye? What if the house guest brought a pet snake, a tarantula or a german shepherd? Well now, that certainly needs more thought…..

There might be some chance if the German Shepherd wore lederhosen and yodelled!

Find a wealthy Toyboy.

If Tommy were a rich man,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I’d bribe him with some buns.
If Tommy were a wealthy man.
I wouldn’t have to work hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If Tommy were a biddy biddy rich,
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.

But Lily might put up a fight, talons at dawn win no awards and we girls need to behave in Cork.

Sell my crown jewels

Alas, the burglars got there first and cleared anything worth more than a second glance.

So what will that leave?

Wait now, I got it!

Flog the Artwork!

I will be sad to let it go but needs must. It is a personally signed ‘One Off’, carefully thought out and designed. A perfect representation of a family group filled with sunshine and love. Now where is the number for Sotheby’s?

I should really keep it under wraps until it goes under the hammer, but on the other hand I would really appreciate your opinion…

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In case you are a little puzzled, we have our hands behind our backs - I know because I asked the artist!

Churchwarden Chicken

Serves 4 Preheat oven to 200°C

8 chicken thighs (skinned)
100g smoked streaky bacon chopped
250g carrots
250g swede
150g button mushrooms
1 clove of garlic
2 leeks
Vegetable oil for frying
450ml Churchwarden Cider

2 tbsp plain flour
Salt and pepper to taste

Cut the bacon into small pieces. Peel & chop the; carrots, leeks and the swede. Wash the mushrooms and dry thoroughly and then cut in half, peel and crush the garlic.

Heat the oil in a large frying pan, add the chicken and fry for 5 to 6mins on a medium heat until golden brown. Remove the chicken from the frying pan and put in an oven proof casserole dish.

Put the onions and bacon, into the frying-pan, fry for a few minutes until the onions are soft, remove from the heat, sprinkle with the flour add the garlic, swede and carrots also a little of the cider stir and mix making sure the mixture is smooth, return to the heat and add the rest of the cider, bring to the boil stirring occasionally. Pour all the contents from the frying pan into the casserole dish with the chicken, stir well.

Cook in the preheated oven for 60 minutes until the chicken and vegetables are thoroughly cooked.

Serve with boiled or mashed potatoes or good crusty bread.

Ain’t falling on my head…

Thay are far too busy hanging on…

It was early in the morning and the cold would not let me bend my hip to get down for the best angle. There were two seperate webs one behind the other. On days like this I need Phil, Donncha, Davy, Red Mum, Claire or JD with a great BIG powerful lense.

Now where is the duster?

This morning I am off to say my last farewell to a good friend who lived nearby. The last year was difficult for him and for his wife and daughter who lovingly shared in his care. A joiner by trade he had very gifted hands and it was a pleasure to watch as he caressed and not just handled a piece of timber.

Mention music and dancing - the Tango was his particular favourite - and his eyes danced with joy.

The pain and suffering are now over so may he reap the reward of his Tango heaven.

Rest in Peace.

Weekends are precious when you are working.

During my schooldays, weekends started at lunchtime on Saturday.

Yes, our school day was from Monday to Friday 9.00am to 16.10pm with a lunch time break from 12.30pm until 13.55pm. Class on Saturdays started at 9.00am and finished four classes later at 12.30pm and there were hockey matches in the afternoon. I hated sport and I think it was that my body went into shock from the cold. No consideration was ever given to this and I was perpetually told to stop shivering! I avoided outdoor games at every chance I could.

I mostly worked five days a week. In some companies we finished at 4.00pm on a Friday. In winter we often adjourned to the local hostelry for a drink and wind down after a busy week. In summer people were more inclined to head away for the weekend.

In those early days one of my friends had a little Fiat 850 car and we travelled all over the country. Whoever sat in the front passenger seat needed to be careful where she put her feet as there was a large hole in the floor! We didn’t care as we tootled about all over the place. Salthill, Donegal, Bunratty, Clonakilty and Curracloe all provided adventure at some point. Achill Island off the west coast of Ireland was a favourite for a long Bank Holiday weekend.

I remember one particular weekend when four of us girls headed across to Achill all set to camp out for the weekend. One of the girls was embarking on her first weekend under canvas. Once we had the tent erected we began to unpack the car. Our newbie carried in her bag and started to empty it. I have no idea how we kept straight faces as she produced silk negligee and bedroom mules with swansdown tassels!

One time we travelled to Paris and felt so sophisticated attending a late showing of the film Last Tango in Paris with Marlon Brando – it was banned in Ireland at the time. Later that night as we walked along the Champs-Elysées a man lurched drunkenly at me and I felt the full weight of him hit me. I ducked away and as we walked on my hand seemed damp. I looked down only to discover it was blood and to my horror there was blood all down the front of my outfit! The only conclusion I could think of was that the man had been injured or stabbed. Looking back there was no sign of him and since I spoke no French, little point in making a fuss.

Another time I went to Dusseldorf, but the longest weekend journey I ever undertook was from Wiesbaden in Germany, to St Anton in Austria; a distance of 13 hours by train each way, to meet up with a cousin out there on holiday from Ireland!

So how did you spend your weekends?

An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that it wouldn’t blow away in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said, “Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?”

“Yes, I know,” said the lady. “But I need my hands to hold onto my hat.”

“But madam, he said, “you must know that you’re derriere is exposed!”

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said, “Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat yesterday!”

Now that the work year had begun in earnest will things be frantic? Never mind help is on the way! Before you leave home - have a cup of tea or coffee with a pinch of cayenne pepper added. The tannins in the tea and the caffeine in the coffee will make the energy boosters in the cayenne start feeding your body fast.

Working outdoors and wearing wellies? Wellington boots may keep your feet dry but are no good for keeping heat in. Have you any ould carpet lying around the house?

Cut out a pair of insoles from the carpet and your tootsies will be toasty while you work or play in the mud. Don’t forget to try it in children’s wellies too. Wool carpet 80/20 is best. Buy a sample square.

Does your pet pooch shed?

In the next few weeks gather up the dog hairs and save them in a bag or box. Once you get the first smell of spring in the air, start to put little bundles of the dog hair about the size of a table tennis ball, into gaps in the bushes round your garden. Tuck it in just enough that the breeze will not blow it away and then watch… The birds will use it to line their nests and reward you for the gift with Birdsong all summer long!

Peeling onions makes me cry – not any more - immerse the onions in a bowl of hot water and peel them under the water. Or put a spoon in your mouth and leave it there while you peel.

The smallest room in the house is often the cause of debate. Should the seat be up or down? Growing up in a household of men (father & four brothers) the worry was not about whether the seat was up or down, but the artistic splash-work they left behind. Now I know there are several young men about to be trained in the wonders of the toilet bowl Adam, Lucas and Ethan are three. No! A toothbrush is not for cleaning the toilet bowl.

Teach the boys to AIM. A table tennis ball left to float in the water gives them a target to hit.

ALL boys love targets

Darragh had a very sweet post yesterday about elopement.

I once left home.

I didn’t elope.

I accidently split my little brother’s head open with a garden hoe.

While mammy took him to Temple Street Children’s Hospital, in Dublin; I packed my bag and went next door and asked our neighbour if I could live in her house! She has now moved on to the next life and I am sure she is still laughing!

That same little brother got fed up with living at home, and who could blame him? He announced one day that he was running away, when asked where he would go; he said “I’m going to get the 72 Bus!”

Very ambitious family we were…. The 72 bus only went to Oxmantown Road.

He did eventually move away. He made sure the hoe could not reach him.

Little brother now lives in Melbourne, Australia!

Now that the festivities are over it is time for some simple plain cooking.

Shepherd’s Pie

Serves 6 Preheat oven to180°C

1 lb Minced Beef

1 large Onion chopped

2 sticks Celery chopped

2 Carrots chopped

1 Parsnip chopped

4ozs mixed Peppers chopped

1 lb canned Plum Tomatoes

Few mushrooms sliced

1 tablespoon Worcestershire Sauce

Salt &Black Pepper

2ozs frozen Peas

2ozs frozen Corn

1 teaspoon Soy Sauce

1 oz Sunflower Oil

1½ lbs Potatoes *

Crushed potato Crisps

Peel cook and mash potatoes and set aside. Heat the oil in large pan fry onion until soft. Add the celery, carrots, parsnip & peppers and cook for 5 minutes. Add the beef and brown slowly, then add Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, black pepper and tomatoes and stir well. Add the mushrooms, peas and corn. Bring to the boil and simmer for five minutes. Pour mixture into an ovenproof dish even out and spread the mashed potato on top. Sprinkle with crushed crisps and bake for 25 minutes.

* I sometimes use half potatoes and half Swede cooked together and mashed.

Yesterday was a fidgety day. I often get them nowadays. Unable to settle to a single task, I flit like a butterfly from one thing to another. I cleared a cupboard, sorted some washing, ironed some knitwear and listed the batteries I needed to purchase…. several are not holding their charge as long as they should. More than 20 batteries are needed at first count.

You know how it goes – keyboard, mouse, camera, condiment set, clock and the one place I almost forgot. My safe! Of late I noticed that when I keyed in my pin no. for the safe, that the door would not open. It took at least five tries yesterday. So I found the instructions and as I read through it I noticed something about batteries It works on batteries and not fresh air. I removed the old ones and they were not rechargeable. While checking the details I noticed in small print; for expiry date see base. I turned it over and right enough it had a date – December 2004. What year is this? I hope I don’t need my crown jewels before Monday.

Oh dear, I forgot another one…..

Relax!

I tested the most important battery – the one in my smoke alarm and it works. Here in Norn Iron we have or did have a TV Campaign to remind everyone to test their smoke alarms. ‘Thumbs up its Monday’ was the slogan chanted by a group of Fireman in full regalia. So this week I am a day early.

In the cupboard I cleared I came across an old folder with a spring spine, it had stickers on the cover both inside and out. There are six in total and I will share them with you over the next few weeks.

This is the first: