Grannymar

This is the time of year we think back to the very first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men went to see the baby Jesus and according to the Book of Matthew, “presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh”.

These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we discover an important theological fact: There is no mention of wrapping paper. If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so:

“And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary sayeth unto him, she sayeth,

“Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year! “And Joseph did rolleth his eyes. And verily, the baby Jesus was much more interested in the paper than, for example, the frankincense.”

But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the very first Christmas gifts were not wrapped. This is because the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics:

1. They were wise.

2. They were men.

Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it off.

John might attempt to wrap gifts, but because of some defect in his motor skills, he can never completely wrap them. He can take a gift the size of a deck of cards and put it in the exact centre of a piece of wrapping paper the size of an Olympic Stadium, but when he is finished fluffing folding and taping, you can still see the end of the gift peeping out. If he had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the pharaoh’s body would be covered only, in true Plue Peter sytle, by sticky back plastic!

On the other hand, if you give a woman a 12-inch square of wrapping paper, she can wrap a cruise ship in it. Many women actually like wrapping things. If they give you a gift that requires batteries, they wrap the batteries separately, which to some people is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.

Gift-wrapping is one of those skills - like having babies - that come more naturally to women than to men. That is why today I am presenting gift-wrapping tips for men:

Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can claim that it’s myrrh.

If you’re giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky recipient on Christmas morning.

For example your wife says: Why is there a bulging bin bag under the tree?

You reply: It’s a gift! See? It has a bow!

Remember that the important thing is not what you give or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.

Wishing You a Christmas of trouble free wrapping!

It is official! Damien is an elf.

How do I know? Well he told the world so on his blog.

It is not the only thing he told us…..

He has four prizes to give away

It’s all in aid of the Jack and Jill Foundation, who can help you recycle your old mobile phones in aid of charity. Jack and Jill didn’t provide the prizes but a supporter of theirs did.

So when Jack and Jill are not climbing the hill what do they do at the Foundation?

The Foundation provides early intervention home respite to families with children up to the age of 4, with severe neuro developmental delay and palliative conditions requiring extensive medical and nursing care at home.

Now everyone that donates one or more mobile phones to the charity, will be entered into a draw for three prizes (First, second and third out of hat) - a Nokia 5220, a Voyager 815 bluetooth headset and an Elextex rubberised portable keyboard for phones.

The blogger who gets these people to donate phones will also be entered into a draw for a Nokia 810 Internet Tablet.

Donating a phone is dead simple as you drop the phone and charger (if you have it) in a jiffy bag and send it to their freepost address: The Jack and Jill Mobile Appeal, Freepost, Ratoath Road , Finglas, Dublin 11

I think you are supposed to say I sent you!

Full details on Damien’s site

UPDATE: The Christmas Spirit got the better of me last night…  Finglas is in DUIBLIN 11 and not district 1 as I said.  Amended above and below. - Thanks to Steph for showing me the error of my ways.

Everyone has their favourite way to cook the turkey so today I will consentrate on dishes to serve with it.

Christmas Red Cabbage

Preheat the oven to190°C

1 head of Red Cabbage discarding the core

9ozs Cranberries

2ozs Butter

3 tablespoons Sherry or Red Wine vinegar

3 tablespoons water

9ozs canned or vacuum-packed cooked and peeled chestnuts

Finely shred the cabbage and layer in a casserole with Cranberries, Butter, Sherry or Red Wine vinegar & water. Cover tightly and cook for 1 hour. Stir in chestnuts and cook for a further 15 minutes. Serve immediately or cool quickly and reheat the next day (often better).

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Port & Apricot Bacon Rolls

Preheat the oven to190°C

12 ready to eat Dried Apricots

3tblsp Port

6 slices smoked Streaky bacon

Soak the apricots in the port overnight. Stretch the bacon slices by running a sharp knife along the length of each slice, then cut in half crosswise. Wrap a piece of bacon around each apricot and place in a small roasting tin. Pour over remaining port, and then cook for 20-25 minutes until bacon is a delicious golden colour.

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Lemon & Thyme Stuffing

Small Onion chopped

½ tablespoon Sunflower Oil

2ozs white Breadcrumbs

½ tablespoon fresh chopped Thyme

Grated rind of a Lemon

2 tablespoon s chopped Parsley

1 Egg beaten

1 tablespoon Lemon juice

Cook chopped onion in oil and cool. Put all the ingredients in a bowl & add onion and season. Roll into Balls and chill. Add to roasting tin for last 20 minutes of cooking time

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Chestnut & Sausage-meat Stuffing

Small Onion

½ tablespoon Sunflower Oil

4ozs Cumberland Sausages

1oz Cranberries

1oz fresh wholemeal Breadcrumbs

1 tablespoon p chopped Parsley

2ozs cooked & peeled Chestnuts

1 Egg beaten

Cook the onion in oil until softened and leave to cool. Put remaining ingredients in a bowl and add onion and season. Shape into balls, cover and chill. Add to roasting tin for last 20 minutes of cooking time

So who won yesterdays test of observation skills?

Steph - is hedging her bets

Magpie - washes his clothes in G&T or has a wine & cheese in peculiar places

Elly - doesn’t do the ironing

Supersimbo – loves games

Will – needs to spend more time in the kitchen

Judy – ‘upside-down bubble wrap’ is it not the same on both sides?

Robert – is no stranger to laundry

Ian – as Roy Walker would say ‘Good answer but it’s not right’

Primal – is a cylinder head gasket different for a white van?

Baino – Elly doesn’t know her mother as mush as she thinks she does

Paddy – Needs a bucket from Santa

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Yesterdays picture was a very small section from here:

Of course you guessed it.

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It was the inside of my washing machine.

The holidays have started for some lucky people so we will celebrate with a little puzzle.

Can you work out what this is:

make as many guesses as you want and I will come back tomorrow with the answer.

Nancy asked the other day if I would post something about Nelson’s Pillar.

www.joyceimages.com/chapter/7/

Nelson’s Pillar was the most prominent monument standing near the General Post Office (GPO) since 1808 in the centre of O’Connell Street, formerly known as Sackville Street, Dublin’s main thoroughfare. This was the original Nelson’s column predating the one in London by almost 30 years. It was a 36.8m (121 ft) tall column with a 3.9m (13 ft) tall statue in Portland Stone at the top.

Designed in 1808 by the English architect William Wilkins (1778-1839), the pillar was topped by Thomas Kirk’s (1781-1845) statue of Admiral Nelson. At the time it was the tallest Doric column in the world. It contained a viewing gallery at the top, and adults paid 6d (children under 12 were half-price) to climb the 168 spiral steps to a platform which gave a bird’s-eye view of the city. The diameter of the column was 13 ft at the bottom and 10 ft at the top.

All the outer and visible parts of the Pillar were of granite, from the quarry of Golden Hill, Kilbride, Co. Wicklow. The interior was of black limestone. Originally the entrance was underground but this was moved to above ground in 1896.

The pillar became a common meeting place for those new to the City and remained so right up to the time of destruction. I wonder how many romances began with a first date starting at ‘The Pillar’.

www.teachnet.ie/dhorgan/1950-60.html

By day there was a lady standing near the entrance selling fresh flowers from a baby’s pram. She was there for years. Alongside her was a mobile X-Ray van with a loudspeaker unit calling on passers-by to ‘Come and have a free chest X-ray’, between these messages they played music! One record played over and over ALL day long – Greensleeves! I know because I worked during my school holidays for several years, at an Opticians office and the loud hailer blared right in our a first floor window!

The Pillar was an unpopular symbol of British imperialism. It was blown up by the IRA at 02:00 on 8^th March 1966 as their way of commemorating the Easter Rising. No one was hurt by the explosion. The closest bystander was 19-year-old taxi driver, whose taxi was destroyed.

www.ukonline.co.uk/communitysupport/nelpil2.jpg

I remember the day, it was my brother’s birthday and we were both late for work because the centre of Dublin was closed to motor traffic and we had to walk most of the way to work. The IRA action only demolished the top of the pillar, causing damage to two windows in the area. Two days after the original damage, engineers from the Irish Army blew up the remainder of the pillar after judging it to be unsafe to restore. This planned demolition caused more destruction on O’Connell Street than the original blast, breaking many windows.

No action was ever taken by the police against the bombers.

Now standing on the site of the Pillar is a 120-metre tall stainless steel needle designed by Ian Ritchie and built 2003-4. Officially called The Spire, like its predecessor, it has attracted much controversy, and alternative names.

As it was getting near to Christmas a young boy was upstairs praying while his mother sat by him and his father and Grandmother were down stairs.

He prayed thus, ‘Lord please send me a train set and a remote control car and a BICYCLE’.

You don’t have to shout dear says his mother God is not deaf.

I know that he replied but Grandma is!!

One of the most popular uses for bicarbonate of soda is to deodorize your refrigerator. Just place an open container inside, stir every couple of weeks, replace it every couple of months.

Wearing a plaster cast on a broken bone can be miserable any time of the year. But it always seems to itch and rub more in the summer time when the weather is hot and sticky. To help relive the itchiness, use a hair dryer set on the coolest setting to blow bicarbonate soda into the cast. This works best if you have someone to help you.

If you have burned yourself cooking, a quick splash of vinegar on the burn will prevent blistering in that area.

Dental Floss is handy to quieten a dripping tap. Tie one end of the floss around the tap and the other end of the dental floss down the drain. The drips travel along the thread instead of making that obnoxious drip dropping sound. It will save your sanity until you find a handyman/plumber.

If you’re an avid pianist, then your piano becomes filthy easily. Keep the keys prim and proper by cleaning them with toothpaste and a toothbrush. Afterwards, wipe them down with a damp cloth. If your piano keys are coated with ivory, it makes perfect sense to maintain them with toothpaste since ivory is essentially elephant teeth. But it will work just as well on modern pianos, whose keys are covered with plastic

Having the car washed

Angels bathing in College Green, Dublin!

The Best Chocolate Truffles appeared in May.

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Brandy Truffles

8ozs Plain Chocolate

1 tablespoon Condensed Milk

2ozs Butter

2 teaspoons Instant Coffee

2 teaspoons Brandy

8ozs Icing Sugar, sifted

3ozs plain Chocolate Vermicelli

Put chocolate into a bowl and place over a pan of boiling water. Do not let the water touch the bottom of the bowl. When the chocolate has melted stir in the condensed milk, butter, coffee, brandy and icing sugar. Form teaspoons of the mixture into balls and roll each in vermicelli. Place on baking parchment and leave to set overnight.

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Chocolate Covered Orange Balls

Yield: Enough for a sweet shop!

8ozs Icing/confectioners’ sugar

6ozs vanilla wafers, crushed

½ cup chopped walnuts

2ozs butter

3ozs real orange juice

12ozs milk chocolate, melted

In a large bowl, combine the sugar, vanilla wafers, walnuts, butter and orange juice. Mix well and shape into 1 inch round balls; allow to dry for 1 hour.

Place chocolate in in a bowl over a pan of hot water, do not allow to come in contact with the water. Stir frequently over medium heat until melted. Dip balls into melted chocolate and place in decorative paper cups.

Seriously this quantity made 82 sweets.