10 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity.
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it “in”.
- Don’t use any punctuation.
- Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
- Go to a poetry recital, and ask why the poems don’t rhyme?
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
- When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”
- When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Exit, yelling “Run for your lives! They’re loose!”
- Tell your children over dinner, “due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
steph said,
September 13, 2008 at 10:12 am
I L-I-K-E these ideas, GM
I suppose that confirms I’m already insane
Though I’ve never seen Diet Water with a serious face
Grannymar said,
September 13, 2008 at 10:19 am
Steph
There is really no hope for you!
Phil said,
September 13, 2008 at 11:51 am
ha - must try some of these. i remember a few years ago a friend asked for a large cock on mcdonalds with a straight face. i couldn’t keep a straight face at all.
Nick said,
September 13, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Diet Water? Great idea. But Diet Lettuce is more nutritious. You’re looking very reflective in the Irish Times piece, Grannymar. Were you mentally fine-tuning your next post?
Darren said,
September 13, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Ha - brilliant. Although, I have actually done four of them. Does that make me 40% insane?
Michael Lee said,
September 13, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Those people who buy a diet water with the family sized pizza (for 1) are a bit mental…
Lottie said,
September 13, 2008 at 2:40 pm
I already do #7 from time to time.
Keiron said,
September 13, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I am so doing #3 on Monday morning!
Annie Rhiannon said,
September 13, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Love the pic of you in the Times! You look like you’re scouting for toyboys.
Lorna said,
September 13, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Lovely pic of you and lovely feature on you all in the Times today
Grannymar said,
September 13, 2008 at 5:22 pm
@Phil - Should you say things like that to GM
@Nick - I was drinking diet water and looking for Toyboys!
@Darren - I would have said 40% sane! Doyler told me to say that!
@Michael L - Welcome to the party. How is life in Tazmania?
@Lottie - I hope you wouldn’t do that to me?
@Keiron - with a fluorescent marker!
@Annie - At least I am upright!
I really look old surrounded by all you younglings.
@Lorna - Thank you!
Primal Sneeze said,
September 13, 2008 at 5:24 pm
In the group shot it looks like you actually have your eyes on one.
Grannymar said,
September 13, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Primal
They wouldn’t let me get at him!
Magpie 11 said,
September 13, 2008 at 8:07 pm
im all for number four because it would have made my job easier i am a teacher and marking essays and compostions without having to bother with puntification would havebeen easy i would only have to worry about content and ideas
Number three is a shortened version of my filing system known as JPIT and WPB (Just put it there and Wastepaper basket).
Children in my class soon got used to If in Doubt Sling it Out
goinglikesixty said,
September 13, 2008 at 9:36 pm
As soon as I get another furlough from the Home, I am doing all of these. Very funny ideas!
“Please, Grannymar, may I have some more?”
Grannymar’s Tips For Mental Health | Baby Boomer Going Like Sixty in Kentucky said,
September 13, 2008 at 9:39 pm
[...] Grannymar’s Tips For Mental Health Published on September 13, 2008 in Ireland. Be careful, don’t fall into the lure of thinking she isn’t serious about these ideas. I’ve read enough of her stuff to know that she has done - or will do all of these. [...]
Grannymar said,
September 13, 2008 at 10:10 pm
@Magpie - I like number four too.
@Sixty - I wouldn’t wait. Start now!
ganching said,
September 13, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Saw you in the Irish Times today holding a glass of low cal water.
Grannymar said,
September 14, 2008 at 10:37 am
Welcome ganching.
Low cal water is just me… I wonder how the gin got in there?
galwaywegian said,
September 15, 2008 at 12:40 pm
brilliant!
Grannymar said,
September 15, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Welcome galwaywegian!
Will you use them in school?
TheChrisD said,
September 15, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I think I do the opposite of #4 - I over punctuate…
Although at least I can blame the lack of automatic smilie parsing for that