Comments on: It’s a Fine Line http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2008/08/19/its-a-fine-line/ I am not a has-been. I am a will be. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance Mon, 21 May 2012 13:03:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Grannymar http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2008/08/19/its-a-fine-line/#comment-25339 Grannymar Mon, 17 Aug 2009 19:34:40 +0000 http://www.grannymar.com/blog/?p=1356#comment-25339 Gaelikaa, I am learning! Gaelikaa, I am learning!

]]> By: gaelikaa http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2008/08/19/its-a-fine-line/#comment-25337 gaelikaa Mon, 17 Aug 2009 19:28:36 +0000 http://www.grannymar.com/blog/?p=1356#comment-25337 If you are too generous with your time, that is also a problem. You can end up being abused for that too. If you are too generous with your time, that is also a problem. You can end up being abused for that too.

]]> By: Grannymar http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2008/08/19/its-a-fine-line/#comment-12772 Grannymar Wed, 20 Aug 2008 08:35:00 +0000 http://www.grannymar.com/blog/?p=1356#comment-12772 @Roy - Thanks. @Baino - This person has walked around for months with the phone number for professional help in a pocket. That was why I stepped back. I did say to contact me only when the phonecall and appointment were made! @Roy - Thanks.

@Baino - This person has walked around for months with the phone number for professional help in a pocket. That was why I stepped back. I did say to contact me only when the phonecall and appointment were made!

]]> By: Baino http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2008/08/19/its-a-fine-line/#comment-12767 Baino Wed, 20 Aug 2008 07:42:00 +0000 http://www.grannymar.com/blog/?p=1356#comment-12767 Sorry Grannymar, I missed this one. Absolutely, you did the right thing. I have had a similar experience and it was essential for my own sanity to end it. I'm a similar soul in terms of being a bit of an Agony Aunt and am happy to lend an empathetic ear, although I have no problem talking either! Some people don't want help, they want to vent but when it gets to the point where it makes you depressed, it is counterproductive. You just have to say, "I can't help you any more and I don't want to be a part of your path to self destruction". Some people just want to moan! If they really need therapy, give 'em the white pages! Sorry Grannymar, I missed this one. Absolutely, you did the right thing. I have had a similar experience and it was essential for my own sanity to end it. I’m a similar soul in terms of being a bit of an Agony Aunt and am happy to lend an empathetic ear, although I have no problem talking either! Some people don’t want help, they want to vent but when it gets to the point where it makes you depressed, it is counterproductive. You just have to say, “I can’t help you any more and I don’t want to be a part of your path to self destruction”. Some people just want to moan! If they really need therapy, give ‘em the white pages!

]]> By: Roy (irish taxi) http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2008/08/19/its-a-fine-line/#comment-12756 Roy (irish taxi) Wed, 20 Aug 2008 02:53:14 +0000 http://www.grannymar.com/blog/?p=1356#comment-12756 Sometimes you gotta step back...... for you're own sanity Sometimes you gotta step back…… for you’re own sanity

]]> By: Nick http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2008/08/19/its-a-fine-line/#comment-12731 Nick Tue, 19 Aug 2008 20:34:37 +0000 http://www.grannymar.com/blog/?p=1356#comment-12731 Jenny and I have met a number of people like that - people who don't really want help, they just want to tell you how miserable and unfortunate they are. You were quite right to step back because they were just abusing your goodwill. You weren't selfish, you were just protecting your own wellbeing. Jenny and I have met a number of people like that - people who don’t really want help, they just want to tell you how miserable and unfortunate they are. You were quite right to step back because they were just abusing your goodwill. You weren’t selfish, you were just protecting your own wellbeing.

]]> By: Grannymar http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2008/08/19/its-a-fine-line/#comment-12728 Grannymar Tue, 19 Aug 2008 18:36:17 +0000 http://www.grannymar.com/blog/?p=1356#comment-12728 @Judy - Thanks, it seems like we all come across a wallower at some time along lifes journey. @Nancy - So it was it you put that recording on my phone! @Judy - Thanks, it seems like we all come across a wallower at some time along lifes journey.

@Nancy - So it was it you put that recording on my phone!

]]> By: Nancy http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2008/08/19/its-a-fine-line/#comment-12727 Nancy Tue, 19 Aug 2008 18:20:29 +0000 http://www.grannymar.com/blog/?p=1356#comment-12727 So this is why I get this message when I try to ring you... Hello. Welcome to the Grannymar Psychiatric Hotline If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer. If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random. If you are phobic, don't press anything. If you are anal retentive, please hold. Not making fun of anyone, GM. Just a little joke to lighten the mood.... You were right, Of course, to sever your ties to someone who depressed not only herself but the people who were trying to help. You can only go so far and then you begin to damage yourself. Remember, self preservation is the first rule of nature....... So this is why I get this message when I try to ring you…

Hello. Welcome to the Grannymar Psychiatric Hotline

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.

If you are phobic, don’t press anything.

If you are anal retentive, please hold.

Not making fun of anyone, GM. Just a little joke to lighten the mood….

You were right, Of course, to sever your ties to someone who depressed not only herself but the people who were trying to help. You can only go so far and then you begin to damage yourself. Remember, self preservation is the first rule of nature…….

]]> By: kenju http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2008/08/19/its-a-fine-line/#comment-12725 kenju Tue, 19 Aug 2008 17:55:54 +0000 http://www.grannymar.com/blog/?p=1356#comment-12725 You did exactly the right thing! I had a similar situation many years ago, with a neighbor who was the most unhappy person I'd ever known. I thought I could help her by being a sounding board, but my family called her the psychic vampire, because she dragged me down into her mire. They could tell when I had been with her during the day. After we moved to this home, she stopped calling me (others think it was jealousy on her part) and I finally realized I was lucky to be rid of her. Self-preservation is or should be foremost in our minds - at least with someone like this. You were right to step back. You did exactly the right thing! I had a similar situation many years ago, with a neighbor who was the most unhappy person I’d ever known. I thought I could help her by being a sounding board, but my family called her the psychic vampire, because she dragged me down into her mire. They could tell when I had been with her during the day. After we moved to this home, she stopped calling me (others think it was jealousy on her part) and I finally realized I was lucky to be rid of her. Self-preservation is or should be foremost in our minds - at least with someone like this. You were right to step back.

]]> By: Grannymar http://www.grannymar.com/blog/2008/08/19/its-a-fine-line/#comment-12721 Grannymar Tue, 19 Aug 2008 16:20:41 +0000 http://www.grannymar.com/blog/?p=1356#comment-12721 @Thrifty - I began to feel that I was wasting energy for nothing when there were others who wanted help, were willing to listen and accept help. @Jen - I understand what you are saying. @Deborah - I listened to those threats at one point and not being near the person I phoned family and told them to take over. It was a threat for attention and the wallowing still goes on. @Magpie - Thank you for sharing your story. If the person seeks professional help then I will be prepared to resume friendship once more. @stwidgie - I agree with you. Had I kept going then it would have spoiled all hope of me ever offering help again. @Darlene - You hit the nail on the head. The person was in denial just like an alcoholic who refuses to admit they have a problem. @Thrifty - I began to feel that I was wasting energy for nothing when there were others who wanted help, were willing to listen and accept help.

@Jen - I understand what you are saying.

@Deborah - I listened to those threats at one point and not being near the person I phoned family and told them to take over. It was a threat for attention and the wallowing still goes on.

@Magpie - Thank you for sharing your story. If the person seeks professional help then I will be prepared to resume friendship once more.

@stwidgie - I agree with you. Had I kept going then it would have spoiled all hope of me ever offering help again.

@Darlene - You hit the nail on the head. The person was in denial just like an alcoholic who refuses to admit they have a problem.

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