Thursday Special ~ Painful
A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two large
plastic refuse bags with her, one in each hand. Unfortunately,
there is a rip in one of the bags, and every once in a while a €20
note falls out onto the pavement.
Noticing this, a garda stops her. ‘Missus, there are €20 notes
falling out of your bag.’
‘St Anthony tonight!’ says the little old lady. ‘I’d better go back
and see if I can collect them. Thanks for the warning.’
‘Well, now, not so fast,’ says the garda. ‘How did you get all that
money? You didn’t steal it, did you?’
‘Oh no,’ says the little old lady. ‘You see, my back garden is right
next to the football stadium. Each time there is
a game; a lot of the fans come and pee through the bushes, right
into my flower beds! So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big
hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingy
through the bushes, I say, ‘€20 or off it comes!’ ‘
‘Well, that seems only fair, laughs the cop. ‘Ok, good luck! By the
way, what’s in the other bag?’
‘Well,’ says the little old lady, ‘not everybody pays.’
Primal Sneeze said,
August 14, 2008 at 8:07 am
Aaaarrghh!
steph said,
August 14, 2008 at 9:07 am
Sausages for brekkie, anyone?
RedLeeroy said,
August 14, 2008 at 9:28 am
a cold chill just moved over me. then i thought of the cash and all was ok…….
Lottie said,
August 14, 2008 at 9:29 am
OUCH!
TheChrisD said,
August 14, 2008 at 10:52 am
Oh god…
* runs to bathroom to throw up *
Mike said,
August 14, 2008 at 11:06 am
@Steph I’m glad I’m a vegitarian
@GM thats the last time I’m going to a fottie match
kenju said,
August 14, 2008 at 11:45 am
HAHAHAHAHA!
Annie said,
August 14, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Oh that so gave me the laugh I needed! thanks Grannymar!
Grannymar said,
August 14, 2008 at 12:55 pm
*tip toes in* Hello!!
Worry not the clippers is locked away in the garage!
Apologies for all the pain!
Nancy said,
August 14, 2008 at 5:05 pm
“The clippers IS locked away in the garage.”
GM, have you been sipping the cooking sherry again?
Grannymar said,
August 14, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Hi Nancy,
I am jober as a sudge! hic!
Nancy said,
August 14, 2008 at 5:24 pm
PROVE IT!!!
I want you to recite
“Starkle starkel little twink,
What the heck you are,you think
I’m not under the alkafluence of inkahol
Like some thinkle peep I am,
It’s just the drunker I stand here,
The longer I get.”
steph said,
August 14, 2008 at 6:07 pm
@ Nancy
Damn! I just spilt my wine through laughing….hic!
I think Grannymar must be out hunting with her clippers
Mike said,
August 14, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Can you be breathalised while using a clippers?
[I think Grannymar must be out hunting with her clippers...]
Mmmmm…And I thought you were such a nice little lady GM
I think I’ll need a bigger badge for protection!
mike said,
August 14, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Grannymar said,
August 14, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Starkahol, starkahol I need a wink………. hic!
I was on the floor under the sink,
It needed cleaning
Now so do I.
Give me a drink
or I might die.
Baino said,
August 14, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Hahaha . . .every man reading this blog is now sitting cross legged and looking out for pissed grannies weilding winky clippers!
Grannymar said,
August 14, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Baino
ROFLOL!
Magpie11 said,
August 14, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Was the old lady called Bobbit?
I was just off to bed but I’m scared of the dreams I’ll have …wonde rrif they’ve left any of that wine?
Grannymar said,
August 14, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Magpie
I think Steph drained the bottle
steph said,
August 14, 2008 at 10:49 pm
I wondered why my ears were burning
With all those €20 notes, GM…
You can buy the next round
Grannymar said,
August 14, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Steph
I’m going to bed. I have no worries about bad dreams.
Jefferson Davis said,
August 15, 2008 at 2:44 am
Yikes!!!
Grannymar said,
August 15, 2008 at 9:23 am
JD
Don’t let it upset your plans for coming to Ireland.