Grannymar

On Tuesday last I told you about my visit to Howth. I never mentioned how I got there. You remember I was staying with my aunt, who was collected for a long prearranged Lunch appointment. In the fuss of the moment she forgot to leave the keys to her car. My car was in the driveway and hers sat behind it. Locked!

The sunshine beckoned so I headed out on foot. Reaching the main road I spied a Bus Stop and that was when I decided on my destination. It is years since my last confession bus journey and the procedure is all new to me. “€1.70!” said the driver, as I struggled to find the coins. I held out a €2 coin. “In there! He said gruffly, pointing to a metal slot near the steering wheel. Doing as I was told, I waited for my change well that was what we were taught to do when I was young. On seeing my outstretched hand he pointed to a small sign on the side of the metal contraption - No change given or some similar words. He did give me a ticket, a receipt for my payment.

Once I sat down I studied the small piece of paper. It told me I could claim a refund of my 30 cents, Great idea I hear you say. Then I read on… The refund was available only at the Dublin Bus office in O’Connell St in Dublin. How many visitors get caught like I did? What happens to all the unclaimed money? Does it go to Charity? Does anyone know? I gave the ticket to my aunt and there is nobody better to sort it out! It is not the 30 cents I am worried about, it is the principal!

So I enjoyed my day you saw the pictures

When I was ready for home I located a bus stop and there was someone waiting which gave me hope that my stand would not be for long. My bus waiting companion was young and male, he reminded me of Twenty and then he turned around and eyed me up and down…

I managed to get a picture

I did as I was asked

Well, Down with the Irish Independent! They didn’t print either my letter or an apology. ‘Oldies’ don’t count! I notice that the Weird Wide Web heading has no photograph under it this week.

Further down the page we have a picture of three mature nuns with mobile phones to their ears. The heading reads ‘Holy smokes, it’s the silver surfers!’ No mention of senior citizens there. Good news for Ian & Paddy Anglican, wearing a collar backwards means they won’t grow old!

Since the nuns are wearing head-dresses we cannot see the silver tresses. The title above the picture and article, ‘Holy smokes, it’s the silver surfers!’ might have worked last week, because Grandad is a well known puffer of a pipe, and I have plenty of silver where once I had gold.

In fairness, Elly copied my email last week to Marie Boran of Silicon Republic and she replied to Elly, but not to me. Since the reply was not addressed to me I was unable to publish it. There was mention of an apology, but I have gone through the full paper and can not see it anywhere.

These are all out of the mouth of Babes Doctors

A man comes into the ER and yells, “My wife’s going to have her baby in the taxi!” I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the lady’s dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs —and I was in the wrong one.

~+~+~+~

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” I instructed. “Yes, they used to be,” replied the patient.

~+~+~

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a “massive internal fart.”

Rick O’Shea of RTE-2FM fame, always one for mischief, is encouraging us to ask someone out on a date this week.

So, on Thursday we’re asking you to finally ask out that person you’ve been dying to go out with for ages. Maybe it’s someone you work with, a friend or just someone you see on the bus every day.

It made me think.

How many people out there pine after, or quietly fantasise over someone without finding the courage to ask them out on a date. If you are in a relationship, how did you come to be on your first date? Did it take forever to get around to it? You all know my story, because I made a Podcast about it.

Modern media give us stereotypes of what we should look for in an ideal soul mate.

What is ideal? Do you have fixed ideas? Did you sit down and write out a list?

Is the ideal woman

• a size zero, six foot tall, high-earning career woman who can whip up the perfect soufflé in a matter of minutes?
• a pretty 5ft 8in blue-eyed blonde - who is good in bed and doesn’t earn too much.
• a busty beauty who will be a physically fit size 12, weigh a trim nine-and-a-half stones, live on her own and occasionally wear glasses.

Is the ideal Man

• a high earning ‘suit’ who drives a Mercedes and lives in a £1,000,000 property.
• intelligent with a wacky, entertaining personality and an optimistic outlook on life.
• a sporty outdoor guy with well toned muscles

Have you a list with check boxes?

Looks
personality
Eye colour
Long or short hair
Does/not wear glasses
Height – tall, medium or petite
Slim or curvy
Fitness
Outlook optimistic
Good in bed
Property – owns, rents or at home
Outlook optimistic
Own transport
Career
Drinks occasionally
Non-smoker
Loves clubbing
Into Sports
Children yes/no
Animal lover/not

Does anyone make that list or are we all ruled by the chemical spark, jumping blindly in without thinking?

Last week post excitement, I spent a couple of days with my Aunt. On Tuesday she was busy so I amused myself for a few hours. On my travels I met this fine fellow.

He was being rather friendly and singing to me. I think he was hungry or maybe a little greedy because he could smell these

Remembering I was hungry, I went on my way and found a nice restaurant where I had some leek and potato soup followed by Calamari. While I was eating there was an unmerciful downpour outside so I lingered over coffee until it passed.

I ventured outside with the return of the sunshine and walked a little further to get a good view of this Lighthouse.

This might be the boat that brought the fish ashore. I walked to the end of the pier and back. I love the smell of the sea and this harbour was always a favourite walk at any time of year when I was young.

On Thursday evenings we often bought our fish straight from the boats, sometimes going home to cook it for a late supper.

The harbour has changed and modernised but I still enjoy it.

As the banner on the boat says C’est la Vie!

 This soup is suitable for any time of the year.  I like it with crusty french bread

Serves 6

1 medium Onion chopped

2 heads of Celery chopped

2 large Cooking Apples

2 Medium Potatoes chopped

2 pints Chicken Stock

1 teaspoon ground Coriander

1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

1 tablespoon Vermouth or Wine

Salt & Pepper

2 tablespoon Oil

Sauté onions and celery in oil for 8-10 minutes (do not brown). Add chopped potato and apple cut in chunks. Pour in stock, and Worcestershire sauce. Bring to the boil reduce heat and simmer for another 30 minutes transfer the soup to a food processor and blend until smooth. Return to the pan over a low heat and add the vermouth and Coriander & season to taste.

I sat on my fury long enough.

You saw this picture and caption here on my blog the other day. I was annoyed not alone for myself, but also for Grandad and indeed for all older bloggers. If we were really weird, a major company like Microsoft would not have offered sponsorship for this category at the Irish Blog Awards.

Tonight I decided to deal with my fury and confront the Irish Independent with the email below.

Dear Editor,

On Thursday last I received a phone call encouraging me to read that day’s Irish Independent. On Page 18 of the Business section I discovered my photo. The surprise was not the photo, because it was taken at a public event.

The shock was the heading! ‘WEIRD WIDE WEB’ The caption was ‘Senior citizen bloggers known as Grannymar and Grandad tied for the award of the best personal blog at the Irish Blog Awards 2008’. Congratulations, you managed to get our names correct. Now before you make any more mistakes we are not married and met for the first time at the event.

I sat on my fury for a few days hoping that it would abate. It didn’t.

Please explain what is weird about older people blogging? Further down the page was a picture of two other Bloggers, young ladies half my age, I know that since one of them happens to be my daughter! You would not dare put a caption - ‘WEIRD WIDE WEB’ above them, I guarantee if you had, my daughter would have your guts for garters!

Am I wrong in assuming that the heading and caption were written by a young journalist? Why is that once silver threads begin to appear we are written off or thought to have lost our marbles? Let me tell you, neither Grandad nor I have lost our ability to use modern technology. We are both familiar with computers, email, blogging, Podcasting, Levelator, Skype and indeed Facebook!

I consider the term ‘WEIRD WIDE WEB’ an insult to all older Bloggers and hope that you will apologise to Grandad and I on page 18 of the business section next Thursday.

Sincerely

Grannymar

A Little Meme

• Three things I could be with a little effort.
• Three things I could potentially be, but it would be a lot of work or out of character.
• Three things that I can never be.

Things I could be with a little effort

Quiet

A friend

Myself

Things I could potentially be, but it would be a lot of work or out of character

An artist

A truck driver

A blonde bombshell

Things that I can never be

A Singer

A jockey

A virgin

Can you do better than that? I’m sure you can.

Oh yes! It was me. I mentioned it yesterday in Five minutes of fame!

Today while trying to follow the goings-on at Creative Camp in Kilkenny via Twitter and Jaiku, well I need to keep a beady eye on the Toyboys, I found this via seanabc onTwitter:

The Many Uses of Vodka. I am not sure it was a good idea to read it.

Mine’s a lime juice and soda, thank you very much! You may keep the Vodka!

or print.

This little beauty appeared in the Business section of the Irish Independent on Thursday 6th March.

I may not have a degree in engineering or technology, but I try to use the few grey cells that I have. Growing up with red hair and freckles really toughens you for life and as my grandmother taught me many moons ago:

‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me!

I won’t let it bother me, instead I will smile and remember a conversation the previous day.

On my journeys between Co Antrim and Dublin I always have a stop to stretch my legs and drink a coffee. Since the road now bypasses Carrickdale I make my stop at The OUTLET Banbridge. While there I made a friend for life! Christine Watson, Marketing Manager for the Centre and I were talking about their web-site. I suggested that she should think of starting a blog to interact and connect with customers and pointed her in the direction of beaut.ie. She was very impressed with their site and Bookmarked it right then and there.

Signing me up for their VIP Club, she needed some info, you know the usual stuff, name, email, etc. Then she asked what age bracket she would put me in, or rather she said ( Now sit up and LISTEN, this is important!!) “45-49 age group, would that be right?” I tried not to splutter and asked Christine to repeat the question, she did!

“45-49 age group, would that be right?” asked Christine.

This time I laughed heartily. “I’m sorry, are you younger than that?” asked a worried Christine.

“No, I am not younger than that” I laughed! “I will be 61 next Monday!”

The smile has not left my face since!