Out of the mouth of babes
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one.
The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.
Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, “Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbour’s wife.
steph said,
January 20, 2008 at 10:30 am
Grannymar, is there any Commandment that says:
“Thou shall not have to put up with thy neighbour’s dog barking” ?
‘cos otherwise I’m gonna have to commit a sin
Grannymar said,
January 20, 2008 at 11:10 am
I suggested to a friend one day to get a catapult and use ice cubes. Evidence evaporates quickly
Put some vinegar in the ice cubes, dogs hate it and will quickly learn not to bark.
steph said,
January 20, 2008 at 11:23 am
Good one! Grannymar.
Now that I think of it, my other neighbour keeps me well-supplied with snails
so I’ll try a few of those as ammunition as well!
Grannymar said,
January 20, 2008 at 11:25 am
Steph the snails will come back and you get to use them twice!
Deborah said,
January 20, 2008 at 11:45 am
That’s great Grannymar. - they always have something funny to say about religion. I almost died at Christmas Mass. If it wasn’t bad enough that she wanted to know why Santa wasn’t in the crib, she stood up on the seat in the middle of the sermon and declared to the packed church that “this man is BOR-ing!” I was so embarrassed!
Grannymar said,
January 20, 2008 at 11:55 am
Deborah, your young lady sounds very much like Elly when she was small.
One summers day we had a relief clergyman and he was anxious to be out in the sunshine. My Little Miss stood up at one stage and said in a loud voice “He left out loads”! At least it showed she listened and knew what the service was all about!
Brianf said,
January 20, 2008 at 12:58 pm
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”
Grannymar said,
January 20, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Brian I love it!
chrisb said,
January 20, 2008 at 3:28 pm
grannymar ~ now you could have added that tip to my vinegar hints!!!
Grannymar said,
January 20, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Chris steal away!
Ian said,
January 20, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Steph,
There is a story of a man and wife who were woken every night by the neighbour’s dog barking. Finally, the wife could stand it no more and sent her husband to do something. He reappeared after ten minutes, but the dog was still barking.
“What did you do?” she asked.
“Oh. I just tied the dog up in our garden to see how they liked it”.
Grannymar said,
January 20, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Ian, I hope the wife sent him out to sleep with the dog!
Nancy said,
January 20, 2008 at 5:32 pm
I heard about a little girl whose beloved dog, Hunter, had died.
To make her feel better, her brother told her that Jesus had taken Hunter up to Heaven to be with Him.
“Well, you just tell Jesus to get his own dog and bring Hunter back to me.”
Grannymar said,
January 20, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Nancy, and right she was too!
steph said,
January 20, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Grannymar/Ian
We did get our own back on the neighbours last summer. They put a new Velux window into the sloping roof of their bedroom and our cat managed to fall in through the open window in the middle of the night
Our neighbours got one hell of a fright but concluded that it must been a seagull on the roof and went back to sleep. Our cat then chose to reappear on their bed a short time later and gave them another lovely fright! 
Grannymar said,
January 20, 2008 at 7:05 pm
Steph, wait ontil Elly reads that! Shades of Marius a french cat who came through the rooflite and landed on her face! She is allergic to cats. I t is not funny.