Grannymar

Most of the time I like young people, I even gave birth to one!

But I also remember the day when:

“grass” was mowed,

“coke” was a cold drink,

“pot” was something your mother cooked in and

“rock music” was your grandmother’s lullaby.

“Aids” were helpers in the School Principal’s office,

“chip” meant a piece of wood,

“hardware” was found in a hardware shop and

“software” wasn’t even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us “old and confused” and say there is a generation gap…

Today we might have television, jet planes, space travel, man has walked on the Moon, spaceships have visited Mars, we even have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing etc. We didn’t have those things when we were young; so we invented them,

Now what the hell are you doing for the next generation??

Granny, when you are coming up to stay with me I would like you to pay particular heed to your mode of dress. My neighbours are rather genteel and since most of them are in their nineties you might say they were a little conservative.

Despite what you may have seen on the streets where you live, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided at all costs:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. A pierced tongue and dentures

3. Miniskirts and support hose

4. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

5. Speedo’s and cellulite

6. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

7. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

8. Bikinis and liver spots

9. Short shorts and varicose veins

10. Roller Blades and a walker

Granny when you come up to stay with me you better bring the purse. I saw something this afternoon that might make a good little present for Grandad.

California vintners, in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.

It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as…

PINO MORE

His hair would stay in place and shine like the paint on a sh*t house door on a frosty morning! Serve him right if it never came off! He is no oil painting you know, so she can leave him at home.

Now that Granny doesn’t have all her sorrows to seek, living half way up a mountain no running water with only sheep for neighbours. I have decided to let her be my new best friend. She wants to come and stay with me for a little holiday. Sure that would be a great idea we can sit and have a good old chat.

Just three rings and I reached the phone.

Hello, how can I help you?

“I am hoping that I can help you my dear” said the cheerful male voice.  “I am phoning to tell you that I am cooking dinner tonight”.

“That would be lovely” I said.  “So where are you now?  Did you manage to find your way about in Wiesbaden?”

“Yes, I had a lovely adventure and bought what we needed for our meal this evening”.

“Do you want to meet me after work for a lift home?”  I asked.

“No thank you” he said, “I am home already having a beer, and I have the wine chilling!”

Uncle Jimmy, my mother’s eldest brother and a Jesuit Priest, had come to stay with me for a couple of weeks.  He was an excellent house guest, very tidy and helpful and you would hardly know he was about the apartment.  From the moment that I said I was moving to live and work in Germany he booked his holiday with me.  I was not sure if he really meant to come and visit, but I was really delighted when it came to pass.

We had similar interests and a liking for German Food & Wine.  Eating out with him was a real joy.  We each ordered a different dish and this way had the opportunity to taste what the other had selected.  We drove out into the countryside and tried little pubs and restaurants.

Shopping was a pleasure for him, he loved the different breads, cheese and of course the wines. Lunches were very easy just point him in the direction of the local bakery and it soon became a veritable feast.  Coffee with Apple Strudel or Black forest Torte in the Park Café often followed our visit to the Train Station to buy an English newspaper.

One evening we were dining with friends at a classy restaurant, and as we had dessert we chatted about where we would adjourn to for the remainder of the evening.  Jimmy asked to our surprise if there was somewhere we could go to dance.  We adjourned to the Park Café which was transformed at night for dancing.  They had a Combo in the corner and the music and atmosphere were good.  Jimmy had a blast and danced with all the ladies in our party.  It was 1972 and spending an evening dancing would not have been acceptable for him back home in Ireland.

Jimmy loved meeting people and made friends easily.  One evening when I arrived home from work, Maria my upstairs neighbour, called me to say Jimmy was up with her having a beer and to come on up for an aperitif.  Maria was Spanish and a great cook.   While we chatted Maria invited us to join the family for dinner & that it was only Pizza followed by cheesecake.

Maria’s Pizza was a wonderful experience.   She made it from scratch and the base was as light as a feather and as thin as an envelope.  She made it on a large rectangular tray and cut it in squares.  This was placed in the centre of the table and everyone helped themselves, it was served with a side salad.  Eating with Maria and her family was always a very relaxed occasion and the wine and conversation flowed.

Main course was followed with Maria’s German Cheese Cake. At the speed it disappeared, I knew this was one recipe I wanted for my collection.

When I returned to Ireland Jimmy’s first question was “Do you have the recipe for cheesecake”?  Up until his death Jimmy would phone on a regular basis and say “I have a nice bottle of wine that would go well with cheesecake” translated that meant “I fancy some cheesecake.”

The warm memories of that visit will always remain with me.

I am so glad he came to stay.

Well I have been there done that and survived my first Irish Blog Awards. It was wonderful to meet so many of my fellow Bloggers and Podcsters. We met and sat with the ‘Beautiful People from beaut.ie, well done and well deserved to win so many categories.

Bernie Goldbach you are a man after my own heart, what a wonderful gesture to hand your Award for Best Contribution for the Irish Blogosphere to Damien Mulley the Brains behind the event! The Standing Ovation for Damien showed that all present were in agreement with you!

I got to meet ‘Twenty‘!!!!

He really does exist. He shook my hand, didn’t use an ‘F’ or a’C’ word once while talking to me. Maybe that was because I had told him I don’t like them. Mind you he may change his mind when he sobers up and starts to Blog!

To all those who said nice things to and about me, to Elly for the eye makeup, Sin-in-Law for driving us on the night there and back (even through the RED lights) I say a Big Thank You! It was well worth travelling down to Dublin.

Normal service will resume when I get home and that might be midweek.