Grannymar

PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run–anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, ” Did I wake you?”

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.

11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the
room.

14. You sing along with elevator music.

15. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather
service.

18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

20. You can’t remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

No, I didn’t make it up, but I hope it made you smile!

I came across this list some time ago and would like to share it with you. The New diet rules are:

1. If you eat something, but no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2.When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the diet soda cancels the calories in the candy bar.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count as long as you don’t eat more than they do.

4. Foods used for medicinal purposes never count. Ex: hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and cheesecake

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie-related foods do not have calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel. Ex: milkshakes, buttered popcorn, mints, and nachos

7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking the cookie causes calorie leakage.

8. Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.

9. If you are in the process of preparing something, food licked off knives and spoons have no calories. Ex: peanut butter on a knife, ice cream on a spoon

10. Food of the same colour has the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate. Chocolate is a universal colour and may be substituted for any other.

powered by ODEO

I came too slowly, realising that I was not alone in the bed. Mmmm… It has been a long time since I awoke to having my face stroked. I opened my eyes and there he was scurrying away from me, surely I don’t look that bad when I first wake in the morning?

Now wait a minute, you don’t fondle me in my own bed and then make a run for it. I want evidence!
Where is the camera when you need it? Right young man, come out from your hiding place and face the music. Got you, a real beauty!

Do you think I should tell my daughter?

This was originally a post in the form of a free online Podcast.

I was young and innocent back then and did not realise the truth: There is no such thing as a free lunch!  The early Podcasts are no more.

The Post has been revamped to appear in text form on 27th January 2012.

The information is always worth repeating.

This post was originally a short free online Podcast giving the story of how and why I began blogging and Podcasting:

Here in text form is the story as I remember it:

I started blogging in 2006. It was a favour to my daughter Elly.

BarCamp came to Ireland & Cork that September and Elly needed a case study for her talk, so who better for a guinea pig than ‘mammy’. I was given three weeks to set up and learn to blog and also Podcast. All this was done at a distance since Elly lived 125 miles away from me.

I didn’t go to Cork but my blog, my face and my voice did.

I sat at home and followed live blogging of the event – another ‘newbie’ for me. In the BarCamp link above the fuzzy photos are actually mini videos of the event. ‘Fuzzy 2’ is Elly’s talk. It gives some idea of how little I knew about ‘the internet’ in 2006.

I am still learning in January 2012!

Day Two and I am thinking of trying an Audio Blog.

Now how do I go about this……

Well I have joined the world of Bloggers.
Am I mad or just insane? What would I have to say that would be of interest to other people? Only time will tell. I will learn as I go along and no doubt my mentor/daughter will soon pass a critical eye over my efforts.

I suppose now I will have to discipline my life to post on a regular basis.