Saying goodbye

I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times
and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve,
to dry before the sun
of happy memories that I leave
when my life is done.

These words were on a Memorial Card for Roy Leitz, dearly loved husband and anam cara of my wonderful friend Nancy.

I was very touched by them. It is how I would like to be remembered, when I breathe my last. Nancy please hang a copy on your fridge to read and reflect on as the days and weeks go by.

The topic Saying goodbye was brought to us this week by Padmini, I do hope that she has no intention of saying goodbye for many a long year. I wonder how she has tackled this subject today? Why not come along with me to check her out, before dropping in to see what the other active members are saying goodbye to: Delirious, Maxi, Ramana, Shackman speaks,The Old Fossil, are the regular faithful crew, while Ashok, Maria/Gaelikaa, Maria SilverFox, Padmum, Blackwatertown,Will Knott join us when life and time allows. Don’t forget that Rohit rejoined us last week, so please add him to the your weekly dander round the Loose Blogging Consortium

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Dieting

I’m at Pets at Home buying a bag of dog food for my dog. While in the check-out queue, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT???

So on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Dog food Diet again, and that I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with food Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Now come on! Did you really think I said that?

I found it on Silversurfers Timeline, on Facebook. It was just too funny not to share!

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Thursday Special ~ Gleaming Glory

DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!!
It’s so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!
IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT. WARNING TO US ALL!!!

I don’t know WHY I didn’t figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,

“FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME.”

No wonder I have been gaining weight! Well! I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Fairy Dishwashing Liquid. The label reads:

“DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.”

Problem solved!

Thanks to my old pal Noreen for this one!

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Wind blown

Photo from Mail Online

The Duchess of Cambridge was caught out by the wind as she arrived at a wedding in south Oxfordshire, just over a week ago. I am betting that it will not happen again. Maybe her mother in law, Her Majesty the Queen, has not passed on her tip to avoid this situation.

It is very simple.

It is a tip Margaret Thatcher shared during a non political television interview from Downing Street. She told us it was passed on to her, by the Queen.

This wonderful tip came in two parts:

  1. Never press the hem of a skirt or dress, it means the length can be altered to suit fashion whims, without leaving a telltale mark.
  2. Use fine curtain lead hem tape threaded through the dress hem, to stop it blowing about on a  windy day.
Lead hem tape in different weights to suit different fabrics.
Close up of the lead weight tape.
The fine 14g tape would do the trick on the lightweight fabric of the dress above, without upsetting the line of the outfit.

Sorry, the line spacing is a law unto itself right now and bugging me no end.

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VIVE LA DIFFÉRENCE

Boy Talk

Girl talk

Roll on Friday for some coffee talk!

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Food Monday ~ Banana Muffins

Banana Muffins
Preheat the oven to 200°C

3 very ripe bananas
2 tbsp soft butter
1 cup sugar
1 ½ cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup coarsely chopped pecans or walnuts *
Mash bananas in a bowl and add rest of the ingredients. Stir just until blended.
Pour into greased muffin cases and bake for 20-25 minutes.

* For variety use dried cranberries or cherries.

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An Undertaking

Woman’s hour on BBC Radio 4, had an interesting item the other morning, about Undertakers. It set me thinking and researching. Ok, so a week ago I felt like death, this week I was in need of distraction from the creaks, groans and pain emanating from my body.

When you think of an undertaker, what image springs to mind? A sombre man dressed from top to toe in black? Perhaps attired in a top hat, tailcoat, or long dark Overcoat and leather gloves all above shoes polished as if for a military parade.

If we take a look back in time to the late 19th century, most deaths (apart from casualties at war) occurred  in the home setting. The bodies stayed at home. Were laid out at home. Laid out by he women of the family or by a few chosen ones in the local community, sturdy stalwarts who were regularly called upon at times of hatching or dispatching.

In the 1930s public mortuaries & chapels of rest began to appear, but after the introduction of the National Health Service, ‘death’ was moved away from the domestic setting and was placed in the hands of funeral directors. These funeral directors were all men.

WITH TIME MANAGING FUNERALS BECAME BIG BUSINESS.

Bereaved families are vulnerable and often easily encouraged to show respect for the deceased with a good coffin, shiny hearse and multiple mourning coaches.

When arranging a basic burial, you might well be talking £3,000.00. Get more than one quote to compare costs.

The fee for the purchase of a plot depends on which cemetery is chosen, and where that cemetery is located. In my local graveyard, run by the local Council, the purchase of a grave plot for a resident of the borough is £300.00, it increases to £900.00 for a non resident. The 1st Opening £280.00, for a second and subsequent opening the cost would be £170.00. If you live in a large city, the costs may well be much higher.

On top of that - pun intended, Headstone Pricing can be anything from £900.00 to £2,650.00. These prices include installation of headstone, engraving of up to two names and sentiment but not cemetery fees of £100.00.

Then there will be costs to consider for a newspaper notice, flowers, and minister’s fee, the cost of a coffin, and the fees that are paid directly to the undertaker for the use of their services to arrange and conduct the funeral, tips for the organist and the verger at a church for making the preparations (dusting the front pews!). If you add in venue hire and catering costs, you might well be talking of £4,600 and odd pounds.

I told you it was BIG BUSINESS!

A cremation would be somewhere in the region of £2,500/£3,000  - this dying is not cheap! In addition to the fee of approx £600/£700 paid directly to the crematorium for (striking the match) carrying out the cremation, organists and medical referee’s fee and the use of their chapel for your allocated time, there will also be a fee to be paid to each of the doctors who complete the cremation certificates. I am always amused that it takes only one doctor to declare the ‘body’ dead for a funeral, yet two doctors must sign separate forms for a cremation. Currently in the UK this fee is set at £78.50 per doctor, giving a total fee payable of £157.00. This fee is set by the British Medical Association, and is reviewed and revised annually.

Next we need to think of the B O X.

Coffins are a whole different ballgame. Coffins are graded according to (the colour, the shine) the wood finish, and the brass or silver trimmings.

My exhaustive research of visiting one undertakers website, informed me that the range varied from a traditional veneered oak coffin with raised lid and polished teak finish @ £305.00 to a solid Paulownia wood³ casket polished in teak finish with luxury padded interior @ £2470.00. An 18 gauge steel casket, platinum finish with ebony shading and luxury padded interior was £POA – price on application, in other words, if you have to ask, you cannot afford it! They catered for the ‘Greenites’ too with a willow coffin manufactured from sustainable sources and available in traditional or oval shape. With water resistant lining, chipboard base and matching wooden frame it would only knock you back £595.00.

Are you worn out and ready to flop yet?

Never fear, the wind of change is beginning to whirl.  Women are increasingly taking on roles within the funeral industry and are reclaiming jobs viewed in recent times as male. It is no longer the preserve of gentlemen. We now have women undertakers, and that programme I mentioned way up there at the top of the post, had three wonderful ladies of the trade on the show:- Poppy Mardall, an undertaker, Liz Rothschild, a funeral celebrant, and Tara Bailey, a former undertaker who’s done a PhD at the Centre for Death & Society at the University of Bath.

I certainly learned a few things….

It was like an old vault opening and letting in the daylight. You do not need to have the full formal funeral with hearse, mourning cars and church or funeral home service.

When someone dies there are three or four things you MUST DO in the first few days:

  • Check if the deceased is on the organ donor list and talk to the GP or hospital doctor ASAP. The sooner you do so, the more helpful it can be. Let your loved one live on in another person. Perhaps pass on the gift of life!
  • Get a medical certificate - it states the date, time and cause of death and must be signed by the doctor who declared the person’s death. You’ll get this from a doctor (GP or at a hospital) and you need one to register the death.
  • Register the death within 5 days of the death - you’ll then get the documents you need for the funeral. In the UK, unlike ROI, the death must be registered officially before a grave can be opened or a cremation booked. One tip I will give you is to ask for several copies of the Death Certificate from the Registrar at the first appointment², at this stage there is no extra charge, otherwise, at a later date, you will be asked to pay for each extra copy.
  • Arrange the funeral - you can use a funeral director or do it yourself. If you decide to do things yourself, the Registrar will give you another form that must be filled in to say what has happened to the body and returned to the Registrars office. Even if old Uncle Felix is sitting in an hourglass on the mantelpiece, you must say that on the form.

Are you listening Elly…….

There is no law that says you must use an undertaker or need a fancy box or the flashiest hearse in the country.

You can transport me the stiff the body, yourself…. In the boot of your old banger the car. That’s right. Bundle me up and bung me in there like an unfinished picnic in a sudden downpour!  Get my son-in-law to fire up the BBQ and away I go! Then go have a “She wasn’t so bad after all!” party and have a ball!

Sorting my personal affairs… NO. Not Toyboy affairs. I mean - hiring a skip, selling the house etc, can all be done later.

If the death has been reported to a coroner you can’t register the death until the coroner gives permission.

A doctor may report the death to a coroner if:

  • the cause of death is unknown
  • the death was violent or unnatural
  • the death was sudden and unexplained
  • the person who died was not visited by a medical practitioner during their final illness
  • the medical certificate is not available
  • the person who died was not seen by the doctor who signed the medical certificate within 14 days before death or after they died
  • the death occurred during an operation or before the person came out of an aesthetic
  • the medical certificate suggests the death may have been caused by an industrial disease or industrial poisoning
  • The coroner may decide that the cause of death is clear. In this case: The doctor signs a medical certificate, and you take the medical certificate to the registrar.
  • The coroner issues a certificate to the registrar stating a post-mortem isn’t needed.

A Post-mortem/autopsy is held:-

To find out how the person died, the coroner may decide a post-mortem is needed. This can be done either in a hospital or mortuary. You can’t object to a coroner’s post-mortem - but if you have asked, the coroner must tell you (and the person’s GP) when and where the examination will take place.

After the post-mortem:

The coroner will release the body for a funeral once they have completed the post-mortem examinations and no further examinations are needed.

² You will need extra copies of the Death Certificate for:

  1. Undertaker if you use one.
  2. Solicitor if he is dealing with the deceased person’s will and/or estate.
  3. Probate office, if everything is straight forward and there is a will, and you feel comfortable in dealing with things yourself.
  4. Bank/s (If you have a joint account and take the death certificate in to them, they will usually make a note that they have seen the death certificate, remove e the deceased person’s name and return the certificate to you, if it is done by post, then they make take weeks or indeed months to return it! Well the poor banks need an excuse to make even more money out of us.
  5. Building societies.
  6. Wages department, if deceased was in employment.
  7. Insurance Company
  8. Pension provider

Do not photocopy a Death certificate, it will be treated like fake money. You need to go back to the Registrars office and pay for them or have a solicitor provide a certified copy…. You will pay handsomely for this.

This site might help: What to do after someone dies in UK

Some local councils run their own funeral services - eg non-religious burials. The British Humanist Association can also help with non-religious funerals.

To arrange a funeral yourself, contact the Cemeteries and Crematorium Department of your local council.

All prices lists above are in £Sterling.

³ I never heard of Paulownia wood before, it comes from China…. All the way to the UK to be used for one day and buried in a hole in the ground, or cast into an oven! That link above makes for an interesting read, and tells of many uses of the wood for making the soundboards of stringed musical instruments, for chests, boxes, and clogs (geta), and is burned to make charcoal for sketching and powder for fireworks.

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Photographing the Alphabet ~ M

M ~ Motte

Now we are talking about a Motte and not a Mot!

Mot (n): Dublin slang for a girlfriend as in “me [my] mot”.

A motte on the other hand was an earth mound, forming a defensible raised platform on which a tower - a keep - could be built. The earth for the motte would be taken from around its own base, forming a deep ditch, aiding the builders’ ability to defend. It would be strengthened with wooden supports or clay.

Motte at Antrim Castle with a winding pathway to the top.

Motte’s varied in size from 50 to 120 feet in height and 50 to 300 feet in diameter.

View from the remains of the old castle

Motte and Bailey Castles were built on the highest ground in the area, they often adjoined Rivers and overlooked Towns or harbours.

View of the remains of the castle from the top of the motte.

The Old Courthouse and view of the town from the top of Antrim motte.

Motte and bailey castles were a form of castle structure that enabled the Norman conquerors of England and Wales to secure areas of land quickly and cheaply in the 12th and 13th centuries.

The Normans needed a castle design they could erect quickly to subdue the wild folk  ;) of these isles. The name ‘motte and bailey’ describes the two parts of the structure. The baileys built by the Normans tended initially to be wood, as speed was of the essence. They were enclosures which sometimes surrounded the base of the motte, providing another layer of defence, or sometimes positioned simply at its base to one side, to be used as an enclosure.

Wooden motte and bailey castles, providing they served their purpose and were located properly, were often rebuilt as stone structures when the Norman lords felt more secure.

This motte is located in the War Memorial Park at Ballyclare, the photo is rather hazy but I think it adds a magical mood to the image.

View from the other side on a different day.

This time a set of steps leads to the top.

There are mottes all over Northern Ireland, I had hoped to photograph a few more, but driving was off limits for the past couple of weeks. Maybe another time.

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Anger

I am still a little lacking in concentration so I went looking for help with this post today.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
~ Buddha

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
~ Mark Twain

It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.
~ Wayne Dyer

Well, Wayne Dyer, I know which one I would choose! Laughter is like sunshine from within!

This timely message came to me as part of a fun email this morning:

Every sixty seconds you spend angry, upset or mad, is a full minute of happiness you’ll never get back…..

Life is short
Break the rules
Forgive quickly
Kiss slowly
Love truly
Laugh uncontrollably
And never regret anything that made you smile.

I may not be laughing uncontrollably or hugging tightly this week, but you might hear me humming along with Andy Williams:

The angry voices raised in vain
The feeling deep inside of pain
Sometimes I think it’s not worthwhile
Until once more I see you smile……

The topic Anger was brought to us this week by The Old Fossil I wonder what got up his nose to make him drop this one in the basket? Why not check him out and then drift on round to see what the other active members are angry about: Delirious, Maxi, Ramana, Shackman speaks,The Old Fossil, are the regular faithful crew, while Ashok, Maria/Gaelikaa, Maria SilverFox, Padmum, Blackwatertown,Will Knott join us when life and time allows.

Rohit has again let us know that he would like to rejoin our group with an all new bright and shiny blog at The Minimalist Diaries, I do hope he manages to post along with us.

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Thursday Special ~ Little Johnny Strikes Again

The teacher asked the class to use the word ‘fascinate’ in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, ‘My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.’

The teacher said, ‘That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate, not fascinating’.

Sally raised her hand. She said, ‘My family went to see Rock City and I was ‘fascinated.’

The teacher said, ‘Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate.’

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before…..She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word ‘fascinate’, so she called on him.

Johnny said, ‘My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.’

The teacher sat down and cried.

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Thank you Barbara for passing this one on!

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